u/namsted

Long post, but I needed to write it before I lose internet for a few days.

I'm on a cruise right now... a reset I planned on purpose. I just left a toxic job for a much better one, and before I start, I wanted to give myself space to actually feel all of this instead of just running straight into the next thing.

A few years ago I went through a divorce from someone who was, by every definition, abusive. He was a narcissist who could never admit fault... classic DARVO, like clockwork, almost on a 10-day cycle. He was eventually arrested for battery against me. I was good for him. He was not good for me. We both overreacted to each other in ways that fed the cycle, but the imbalance of harm was never close to equal.

Other drugs became how I tried to manage him and my own reactions. It got bad. I got sober, did the work, made it 15 months. Then he wanted to open the relationship, which felt like one more disrespect on top of everything else, and I went back to using. When he wanted to separate, I didn't wait around... I filed for divorce myself. Then things got hard for about six months. It took two rehabs to get me stable. Prescription medication is what finally let me turn the corner for good.

I'm closing in on four years sober now. Other drugs have been part of how I got here... genuine harm reduction, a way to step down without stepping back into the worse stuff. I don't regret that choice.

But I'm at a point now where I think I'm ready to let it go too. I don't think I'll hit my actual ceiling... as a person, in this new job, in my own life... while I'm still leaning on anything mind-altering, even something comparatively mild. New job, new chapter, workplace I'm hoping is sane this time. Feels like the right moment to go all the way.

I'm looking at maybe committing to a mutual support program for that piece when I'm back on solid ground.

I'll be off the grid for a day or so out at sea, but I'll be back to read whatever you all have to say. Just wanted to put this out into the world before I do.

Picked this up recently and it’s already changed how I do laundry. The frame is solid steel with zero flex anywhere, feels like it could survive a nuclear event. The height is perfect, no more hunching over a laundry basket on the floor like some kind of cave person. Holds a full load with room to spare, which matters more than I thought it would. The casters roll smooth and quiet, no fighting it across the floor.

The thing I didn’t expect to love as much as I do is hanging flat clothes on the side of the cart as I unload the dryer. Dress shirts, pants, anything that wrinkles just gets hung right on the wire frame while I sort through everything else. By the time I’m done with the rest of the load they’re ready to go straight to the closet. I don’t know why I spent years throwing everything into a basket and dealing with the wrinkle consequences later when this was apparently an option the whole time.

It’s not a cheap buy but it’s clearly built to last decades. Already feel like it was the right call. look up R&B Wire® 100E/D7 Heavy Duty Wire Laundry Cart.

Nevada's DMV website has operating hours. It closes at night so the servers can go home to their families.

Sailing away from weed, four years from rock bottom, and finally feeling like I can breathe

I just bought this laundry cart and I already know I’ll never need another one.