u/nani_san

Background: I've had over 7 years of serious dating experience in 4 different relationships and I've been single for around 4 years...

I've realised the reason I'm not actively looking out for a relationship is because I need to learn to love myself first.

I've realised love is not enough to sustain a relationship, you need understanding, clear communication and right expectations on both ends.

I've realised clear communication is also not enough when you're full of biases and traumatized from your past.

I've realised that women face unsaid judgements, uncomfortable glares, unreasonable expectations, physical discomfort on an everyday basis and still function like nothing's wrong.

I've realised that I'm now looking for a partner who I can treat on equal footing, I've kept my exes on a pedestal and I'm the only one who has been kicked down from there. Vice versa I've also been kept on a pedestal and not a good place to be if you've a conscience and don't love the other person.

I've realised that I don't mind paying for food but the entitlement of some posts I've seen here rubs me the wrong way, every female friend of mine advocates that first few dates it's better for them to equally split because it doesn't keep them under a burden that they need to meet again next time. Not everyone has this logic but I'm convinced.

I've realised that most of us in late 20s have a set pattern in life and the reason why we're single is we don't know how our life will look when someone else comes in and fits in the picture.

I've realised that societal male expectations includes well earning (which I'm on the path but not there yet) but doesn't include empathy, communication, understanding, emotional quotient, etc

I've also realised that everyone has their routine set atleast at 28, so they also are functioning from a place of comfort like I have my weekend's set and even if they're not I know my friends will make up some plan or another.

I've realised I have the privilege of a great support system in the form of amazing family and crazy school friends. I'll be forever grateful for them.

I've also realised I shouldn't drunkpost on saturday night but here i am.

P.s. I don't follow rule 1 & 2 but I think I follow the fundamental rule 0 i.e. being a genuine human being.

Listen actively, dedicate entirely, think critically, introspect deeply, feel emphatically, live fully.

Background: I've had over 7 years of serious dating experience in 4 different relationships and I've been single for around 4 years...

I've realised the reason I'm not actively looking out for a relationship is because I need to learn to love myself first.

I've realised love is not enough to sustain a relationship, you need understanding, clear communication and right expectations on both ends.

I've realised clear communication is also not enough when you're full of biases and traumatized from your past.

I've realised that women face unsaid judgements, uncomfortable glares, unreasonable expectations, physical discomfort on an everyday basis and still function like nothing's wrong.

I've realised that I'm now looking for a partner who I can treat on equal footing, I've kept my exes on a pedestal and I'm the only one who has been kicked down from there. Vice versa I've also been kept on a pedestal and not a good place to be if you've a conscience and don't love the other person.

I've realised that I don't mind paying for food but the entitlement of some posts I've seen here rubs me the wrong way, every female friend of mine advocates that first few dates it's better for them to equally split because it doesn't keep them under a burden that they need to meet again next time. Not everyone has this logic but I'm convinced.

I've realised that most of us in late 20s have a set pattern in life and the reason why we're single is we don't know how our life will look when someone else comes in and fits in the picture.

I've realised that societal male expectations includes well earning (which I'm on the path but not there yet) but doesn't include empathy, communication, understanding, emotional quotient, etc

I've also realised that everyone has their routine set atleast at 28, so they also are functioning from a place of comfort like I have my weekend's set and even if they're not I know my friends will make up some plan or another.

I've realised I have the privilege of a great support system in the form of amazing family and crazy school friends. I'll be forever grateful for them.

I've also realised I shouldn't drunkpost on saturday night but here i am.

P.s. I don't follow rule 1 & 2 but I think I follow the fundamental rule 0 i.e. being a genuine human being.

Listen actively, dedicate entirely, think critically, introspect deeply, feel emphatically, live fully.

28M background: I've had over 7 years of serious dating experience in 4 different relationships and I've been single for around 4 years...

I've realised the reason I'm not actively looking out for a relationship is because I need to learn to love myself first.

I've realised love is not enough to sustain a relationship, you need understanding, clear communication and right expectations on both ends.

I've realised clear communication is also not enough when you're full of biases and traumatized from your past.

I've realised that women face unsaid judgements, uncomfortable glares, unreasonable expectations, physical discomfort on an everyday basis and still function like nothing's wrong.

I've realised that I'm now looking for a partner who I can treat on equal footing, I've kept my exes on a pedestal and I'm the only one who has been kicked down from there. Vice versa I've also been kept on a pedestal and not a good place to be if you've a conscience and don't love the other person.

I've realised that I don't mind paying for food but the entitlement of some posts I've seen here rubs me the wrong way, every female friend of mine advocates that first few dates it's better for them to equally split because it doesn't keep them under a burden that they need to meet again next time. Not everyone has this logic but I'm convinced.

I've realised that most of us in late 20s have a set pattern in life and the reason why we're single is we don't know how our life will look when someone else comes in and fits in the picture.

I've realised that societal male expectations includes well earning (which I'm on the path but not there yet) but doesn't include empathy, communication, understanding, emotional quotient, etc

I've also realised that everyone has their routine set atleast at 28, so they also are functioning from a place of comfort like I have my weekend's set and even if they're not I know my friends will make up some plan or another.

I've realised I have the privilege of a great support system in the form of amazing family and crazy school friends. I'll be forever grateful for them.

I've also realised I shouldn't drunkpost on saturday night but here i am.

P.s. I don't follow rule 1 & 2 but I think I follow the fundamental rule 0 i.e. being a genuine human being.

Listen actively, dedicate entirely, think critically, introspect deeply, feel emphatically, live fully.