u/napiesf

I’m a 28M gay man, and I’ve had this straight friend for about four years. From the beginning, his interest in women has always been obvious, just as my interest in men is obvious.

What I started noticing, though, is that he seems to completely check out of our conversations whenever a woman comes within our vicinity. Whether we’re hanging out at a bar, restaurant, park, or even on a train, almost every woman he notices seems to grab his attention. Sometimes he’ll just stare at them intensely.

The last time we hung out, after I’d avoided meeting him for several months, we were at a bar and I saw him pull out his phone and take pictures of a woman who was clearly there having a good time with her boyfriend.
I found it really awkward but didn’t confront him about it.

Is this just typical straight-guy behaviour, or does his behaviour seem excessive to you?

I grew up in a home where resting was a crime. I had to be busy and alert. That reduced attacks and abuse greatly. I was regularly called lazy but only at home. School teachers found me one of their best student and most hardworking.

Anyways in my first job I never took leave. I was that employee who worked on Christmas and with no overtime pay🤦🏿‍♂️ peoples pleaser I was!

Anyways a lot of changed I’m in a new job and now I have been taking short leaves. Te work place is so keen on work life balance but it’s also government work so not so demanding as I like it.

I have now taken a 3 weeks leave and I don’t know what to do with the the free time. I don’t have family to spend days with, trauma makes friendships hard so never really had close friends. The few times I tried they seemed preoccupied by their siblings or less clinging friends.

Are there people who have never tried out relationships at all? I am 28 now and just gaining a bit of confidence to try now.

Thought I had escaped those fuckers when I went no contact.

Are you triggered by how blessed they’re to be from good families?
Do you feel shame about letting them in into your family and experiences?
Do you worry they’ll be closer n more interested in people from good families like them?

Always a struggle but I have found them good people overall, I learn things like boundaries from them, I also see how they relate with siblings and family which is good shows that a good family is possible.

It used to make me anxious like people are trying to pull me out of the closet. At some point I just had an imaginary girlfriend and had made up stories about her but that was tiring.

During summer there are many hot bodies to look at. Also my body makes it easy for me to get bottoms. I always have a waiting list of them in summer.
In winter I’m bottom I be craving warmth and cuddle from a big man. Okay warmth and d*ck.