u/nayon-pop

​I’m a 27yo guy living in a homophobic/Arabic country. I fully accepted my sexuality about 3 years ago and started using Grindr and Tinder.

​Appearance wise, I’m a hairy, manly-looking guy who prefers to bottom or vers. I’d say I’m decent-looking, clean, and I always respectful and very nice with people. However, these past 3 years have been incredibly difficult. I constantly get blocked or ignored the second I send a face picture. In 3 years, I’ve only managed to hook up about a dozen times, and Tinder hasn't led to any meaningful relationships either.

​I’m starting to wonder: Is it common for hairy, masculine bottoms to struggle this much globally, or is this specific to Arabic/conservative countries?

​Before coming out to myself, I was healthy and productive. Now, after 3 years of app rejection, I feel lost, drained, and excluded by the very community I thought I belonged to. It’s taking a toll on my mental health, and I'm starting to feel "ugly" and like I'm wasting my youth without enjoying my sex life.

​Have any of you been in a similar position? How did you handle the isolation and the app fatigue? I would love to hear your stories or any advice you have.

Hey everyone,

I know this might sound silly because there isn't any actual rule about it, but I've always felt that whoever matches last should at least say "hi." They're the one who gets the ability to message after the match, so in my mind, if you're interested, why not start the conversation?

That's what I do whenever I'm the one who matches last.

The problem is that around 90% of the time, when someone matches me last, they never send anything. I assume they're not really interested. Then I started thinking maybe I was the one with the wrong mindset, so I began making the first move instead.

But honestly, it doesn't make much difference. Most of the time I either get no reply at all or very cold, one-word answers that don't lead anywhere. If you matched with me, I would assume there's at least some interest, so why does it feel like I'm talking to a wall?

It's getting really frustrating and is honestly making me lose interest in using Tinder.

I'm curious: is this mostly a thing in the gay Tinder world, or do straight people experience the exact same thing?

I’ve been on different dating apps Tinder, Grindr, and even here on Reddit, among many others but in the end, every conversation and flirtation just leads to asking for hot pics.

​Like, seriously, is se*x all people have in mind? No one values the conversation, the person, or the moment anymore. All they think about is that. How brain-dead and limited are these people?

We are all ho*rny, and we all want to have se**x, but we control it. That’s why we have brains we are not animals that just want to see nud_es and fu*_ck whoever we talk to.

​I am so done with this because it’s really tiring, and the majority of people are like this, even straight people.

I came across someone's post in my city subreddit looking to make new friends. I simply commented, "I'm up for making new friends." He DM'd me, we had a casual conversation, and eventually decided to meet.

Then he suddenly asked, "Are you gay?"

I was surprised, especially since my account is private. Instead of answering, I asked, "Why are you asking?" He replied, "Because I'm not."

So I said, "Did I ask if you were?"

Seriously, what's wrong with some straight people? Do they automatically assume that every gay person wants to date them?

Honestly, dating wasn't even on my mind. I just enjoy meeting new people, socializing, and making friends. If I wanted to date, there are plenty of other ways to meet gay people.

Thankfully, we never ended up meeting.

Hello guys !

Im 28M and I'm struggling and need some help. I spend way too much time scrolling on Instagram, and the negativity there is really hurting my mental health. I'm addicted, and I can't seem to stop.

I work from home, so I have a lot of free time. I have plenty of ideas for projects, but I always start and then give up quickly. Because of this, I feel stuck. I'm not learning anything new, my energy is always low, and I feel depressed.

Three years ago, I was super motivated and got a lot done. Now, I just feel like a loser who is wasting my potential. I hate this feeling.

Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you stop the scrolling habit and get your motivation back? Should I talk to a doctor, or is this just something I can fix on my own?

Any advice would be a huge help.

Am I the only one who most of the time keeps seeing all profiles of localsl in hangout or past visitore since the new update, i am still seeing profiles of people i met 3 days ago and they are left my city already.

I used to see new travelers on there all the time, but lately, even the locals have disappeared.

Plus, with the new paywall requiring people to pay just to read messages, I doubt free users can even use the feature at all.

Is anyone else experiencing this, or is it just my city?