u/needurop

Sorry for the long post, and thank you if you make it till the end.

I met a guy online in 2018 through social media. We were from the same city and community, and later I found out our families had known each other for decades. We were just online friends at first, but after about two years we finally met in person. It felt like I’d known him forever.

After a few months of talking every day and spending time together, I confessed my feelings. I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn’t looking for anything casual—I wanted a relationship that could eventually lead to marriage. He took about two weeks to say yes because he’d come out of a long relationship, and I respected that.
Looking back, I had an anxious attachment style while he was very avoidant. I was clingy, and he often said he felt suffocated. Despite our differences, I believed we were building a future together.

Everything fell apart in 2023. I found out he had cheated on me with a colleague who became pregnant. He told me it was a one-time mistake, and against my better judgment, I forgave him. Later I discovered the affair had actually continued on and off for around 1½ years.

Our families knew about us, and there had been discussions about marriage. His mother even encouraged it. He wanted to wait until 2028 because he didn’t feel financially stable. I agreed, but suggested a private court marriage first. He refused, asked for space, and within weeks he was already dating other people.

The last conversation we had shattered me. He told me he never intended to marry me, never saw me as his wife, and criticized me for my weight and other things. After that, he blocked me everywhere. I never contacted him again.

He’s now in another relationship, and I genuinely wish him well. I don’t want him back, but I still miss him every day. I was bedridden for months after the breakup, and even now I feel emotionally numb. I struggle to connect with new people.

One thing I don’t understand is why he occasionally views my WhatsApp status from another number after blocking me everywhere else, and why he kept his birthday as my birthday after we broke up. I know it probably doesn’t mean anything, but my mind keeps wondering.

How do you let go of someone who was your whole future? I don’t regret loving him, but I wish I knew how to move on. My family thinks I handled the breakup well, but the truth is it feels like a part of me never came back.

Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you finally let go?

Sorry for the long post, and thank you if you make it till the end.

I met a guy online in 2018 through social media. We were from the same city and community, and later I found out our families had known each other for decades. We were just online friends at first, but after about two years we finally met in person. It felt like I’d known him forever.

After a few months of talking every day and spending time together, I confessed my feelings. I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn’t looking for anything casual—I wanted a relationship that could eventually lead to marriage. He took about two weeks to say yes because he’d come out of a long relationship, and I respected that.
Looking back, I had an anxious attachment style while he was very avoidant. I was clingy, and he often said he felt suffocated. Despite our differences, I believed we were building a future together
.
Everything fell apart in 2023. I found out he had cheated on me with a colleague who became pregnant. He told me it was a one-time mistake, and against my better judgment, I forgave him. Later I discovered the affair had actually continued on and off for around 1½ years.

Our families knew about us, and there had been discussions about marriage. His mother even encouraged it. He wanted to wait until 2028 because he didn’t feel financially stable. I agreed, but suggested a private court marriage first. He refused, asked for space, and within weeks he was already dating other people.

The last conversation we had shattered me. He told me he never intended to marry me, never saw me as his wife, and criticized me for my weight and other things. After that, he blocked me everywhere. I never contacted him again.
He’s now in another relationship, and I genuinely wish him well. I don’t want him back, but I still miss him every day. I was bedridden for months after the breakup, and even now I feel emotionally numb. I struggle to connect with new people.

One thing I don’t understand is why he occasionally views my WhatsApp status from another number after blocking me everywhere else, and why he kept his birthday as my birthday after we broke up. I know it probably doesn’t mean anything, but my mind keeps wondering.

How do you let go of someone who was your whole future? I don’t regret loving him, but I wish I knew how to move on. My family thinks I handled the breakup well, but the truth is it feels like a part of me never came back.

Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you finally let go?

Sorry for the long post, and thank you if you make it till the end.

I met a guy online in 2018 through social media. We were from the same city and community, and later I found out our families had known each other for decades. We were just online friends at first, but after about two years we finally met in person. It felt like I’d known him forever.

After a few months of talking every day and spending time together, I confessed my feelings. I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn’t looking for anything casual—I wanted a relationship that could eventually lead to marriage. He took about two weeks to say yes because he’d come out of a long relationship, and I respected that.
Looking back, I had an anxious attachment style while he was very avoidant. I was clingy, and he often said he felt suffocated. Despite our differences, I believed we were building a future together.

Everything fell apart in 2023. I found out he had cheated on me with a colleague who became pregnant. He told me it was a one-time mistake, and against my better judgment, I forgave him. Later I discovered the affair had actually continued on and off for around 1½ years.

Our families knew about us, and there had been discussions about marriage. His mother even encouraged it. He wanted to wait until 2028 because he didn’t feel financially stable. I agreed, but suggested a private court marriage first. He refused, asked for space, and within weeks he was already dating other people.

The last conversation we had shattered me. He told me he never intended to marry me, never saw me as his wife, and criticized me for my weight and other things. After that, he blocked me everywhere. I never contacted him again.

He’s now in another relationship, and I genuinely wish him well. I don’t want him back, but I still miss him every day. I was bedridden for months after the breakup, and even now I feel emotionally numb. I struggle to connect with new people.

One thing I don’t understand is why he occasionally views my WhatsApp status from another number after blocking me everywhere else, and why he kept his birthday as my birthday after we broke up. I know it probably doesn’t mean anything, but my mind keeps wondering.

How do you let go of someone who was your whole future? I don’t regret loving him, but I wish I knew how to move on. My family thinks I handled the breakup well, but the truth is it feels like a part of me never came back.

Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you finally let go?

Sorry for the long post, and thank you if you make it till the end.

I met a guy online in 2018 through social media. We were from the same city and community, and later I found out our families had known each other for decades. We were just online friends at first, but after about two years we finally met in person. It felt like I’d known him forever.

After a few months of talking every day and spending time together, I confessed my feelings. I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn’t looking for anything casual—I wanted a relationship that could eventually lead to marriage. He took about two weeks to say yes because he’d come out of a long relationship, and I respected that.
Looking back, I had an anxious attachment style while he was very avoidant. I was clingy, and he often said he felt suffocated. Despite our differences, I believed we were building a future together.

Everything fell apart in 2023. I found out he had cheated on me with a colleague who became pregnant. He told me it was a one-time mistake, and against my better judgment, I forgave him. Later I discovered the affair had actually continued on and off for around 1½ years.

Our families knew about us, and there had been discussions about marriage. His mother even encouraged it. He wanted to wait until 2028 because he didn’t feel financially stable. I agreed, but suggested a private court marriage first. He refused, asked for space, and within weeks he was already dating other people.

The last conversation we had shattered me. He told me he never intended to marry me, never saw me as his wife, and criticized me for my weight and other things. After that, he blocked me everywhere. I never contacted him again.

He’s now in another relationship, and I genuinely wish him well. I don’t want him back, but I still miss him every day. I was bedridden for months after the breakup, and even now I feel emotionally numb. I struggle to connect with new people.

One thing I don’t understand is why he occasionally views my WhatsApp status from another number after blocking me everywhere else, and why he kept his birthday as my birthday after we broke up. I know it probably doesn’t mean anything, but my mind keeps wondering.

How do you let go of someone who was your whole future? I don’t regret loving him, but I wish I knew how to move on. My family thinks I handled the breakup well, but the truth is it feels like a part of me never came back.

Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you finally let go?

Sorry for the long post, and thank you if you make it till the end.

I met a guy online in 2018 through social media. We were from the same city and community, and later I found out our families had known each other for decades. We were just online friends at first, but after about two years we finally met in person. It felt like I’d known him forever.

After a few months of talking every day and spending time together, I confessed my feelings. I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn’t looking for anything casual—I wanted a relationship that could eventually lead to marriage. He took about two weeks to say yes because he’d come out of a long relationship, and I respected that.
Looking back, I had an anxious attachment style while he was very avoidant. I was clingy, and he often said he felt suffocated. Despite our differences, I believed we were building a future together.

Everything fell apart in 2023. I found out he had cheated on me with a colleague who became pregnant. He told me it was a one-time mistake, and against my better judgment, I forgave him. Later I discovered the affair had actually continued on and off for around 1½ years.

Our families knew about us, and there had been discussions about marriage. His mother even encouraged it. He wanted to wait until 2028 because he didn’t feel financially stable. I agreed, but suggested a private court marriage first. He refused, asked for space, and within weeks he was already dating other people.

The last conversation we had shattered me. He told me he never intended to marry me, never saw me as his wife, and criticized me for my weight and other things. After that, he blocked me everywhere. I never contacted him again.

He’s now in another relationship, and I genuinely wish him well. I don’t want him back, but I still miss him every day. I was bedridden for months after the breakup, and even now I feel emotionally numb. I struggle to connect with new people.

One thing I don’t understand is why he occasionally views my WhatsApp status from another number after blocking me everywhere else, and why he kept his birthday as my birthday after we broke up. I know it probably doesn’t mean anything, but my mind keeps wondering.

How do you let go of someone who was your whole future? I don’t regret loving him, but I wish I knew how to move on. My family thinks I handled the breakup well, but the truth is it feels like a part of me never came back.

Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you finally let go?

29F

This goes back to 2018 when u met this guy on a social media platform. We connected based on the same values we shared and he was from the same community and the same city.

Basically his parents have known my grandparents for decades (which i got to know later). Anyways both of us never thought of catching up or anything cuz it was just an online thing .

After almost 2 years of knowing each other , i asked him if he was invited to my cousin's wedding as it was evident that his dad and my cousin's sister dad were a part of the same group of the "Community".

I met him in 2020, it was infatuation /love at first sight . Till now we were on call/text for almost 6 months continuously and meeting him in person just felt like connecting to an old bestfriend .

We went out for a few dates well, i wouldn't consider that as a date but we started hanging up more and more. So, on the 3rd of march 2020, i proposed to him and made it clear that i Don't want anything casual but i am looking to settle down and most probably if everything goes great i would like to marry u. Ik it was cliche but i was honest about my intentions.

He took 15 days to say yes to me. He had a 5 year relationship in his college days and was single for 2 years so i gave him time and then he said yes to me.

I was on cloud nine, i thanked my stars and prayed to protect our relationship through thick and thin. The relationship was good( at least according to me) , however he used to tell me he was feeling suffocated.

Now, the problem here is that I thought of it as a team , for me it was us against the world and i never thought maybe it was because of me.

Yes , i was clingy and i am not afraid to say that i have an anxious attachment style and he was a classic case of avoidant.

Years passed, we went through our ups and downs and then came 2023, that year was a nightmare .

I felt like i was the only one in the relationship and considered it as just a phase but it wasn't. Turns out he cheated on me and got his colleague pregnant during that time and i was not able to accept the betrayal and still accepted him after he said he doesn't want to be with her and it was just one night.

I wanted to keep it behind us and accepted him again only to know later that he was on and off sleeping with her for almost 1 and half years.

However , in hindsight i was involved with his parents , there was a conversation about us getting married and so i expected to start everything on a fresh note only for him to tell me he will get married in 2028 but there was a lot of pressure from my family as it was almost 6 years without any commitment .

I was close to his parents , his mum and i used to talk to each other every other day and she told me we should get married soon.

My partner wasn't financially stable (according to him) and so he wanted me to wait till 2028 so i agreed on a condition that we get court married and then later on get married infront of others and thats when he pulled away

He said he won't do it and i was furious , it seemed like a joke to me. How can u be afraid to sign a paper when i clearly told him it will be a secret (his parents agreed on that too) including my mum.

He was against it and so i told him OKAY LETS DO IT YOUR WAY THEN.

He said he needed space and we were on off for 2 months only to find out that he was already going out on dates and eventually blocked me from everywhere .

That's when i called him and he said he never had the intention of getting married to me . He said he never thought of me as his wife, that i wasn't a good accountability partner and was not taking care of my health( i gained a lot of kgs ) .

It was the last time i connected to him and after that i never reached out to him.

I eventually came to know he is dating a different girl now and is kinda serious about her maybe . Honestly , i wish him well in his life but i still kind of crave for him everyday .

There is still a of love for him and nothing matters to me other than his happiness

I just wish to move forward in my life now but i just don't connect to people anymore.

I was bedridden for 3 months and honestly i still feel numb .

He blocked me from his private number but he still checks my status at times . Why wouldn't he block me from that too?

He kept his birthday as my birthday after our breakup but what's the purpose of it?

ik he never loved me , i am aware people fall out of love but how do i get him out of system ?

i want to forget but every cell in my body wants to hold on to him.

I don't want him back but i would pick up his call in one ring ik that

How desperately want to come out of it but i also want to hold onto it.

I don't regret my relationship with him but i wish i had the guts to just move on like nothing happened .

Everyone in my family is kinda surprised by how well i took that ending but i feel it ended a part of me which i desperately want to hold on to.

If u have read till here, i appreciate you for your time and patience.