u/nevergitdis

My husband is a drinker, which I knew coming into our relationship, because he’s always been, he’s also military… iykyk.
I’ve recently had friends ask if things were okay with us, because some of his behaviors have raised eyebrows?
He wasn’t always an angry man, at least what I remember, which I’ve had 2 kids in the last 5 years, so stuff’s a little foggy. I feel he’s definitely gotten angrier the last couple years. It got worse after I had his son during his deployment, and he finally came home when he was 3 months old.
Anyway, I turned 30 this year and I started trying to put effort into myself, because I wanted to go back to work, I wanted to be productive, and I wanted to feel useful again, and I wanted to feel pretty again.
One night while he was drinking my husband told me “there’s no such thing as build a bitch, so I got what I got.” Which I took as, “you’re not who I wanted, but I have you and I tolerate it.” Now, I am notorious for jumping to conclusions, but I feel that was pretty self explanatory? In the same breath he told me that I had to earn his affection, because I had asked him why he always made me feel like I had to “work” for him to treat me like he likes me, or wants to be with me.
He’s not a terrible person all the time, I’m just starting to feel worn by being the default parent, and a punching bag when things don’t go his way, even small little things, like the dog wanting to go outside in the morning. I know he’s tired of being the sole provider, don’t think his hard work goes unnoticed, it doesn’t, I praise him most days for allowing me to be a stay at home mom, because this is a privilege, but I’m genuinely sitting here like am i gaslighting myself or does this man actually not like me…

I know this post is all over the place, but honestly so am I, so I’m sorry. Please be nice to me, I don’t know if I can handle more men beating me down, metaphorically. Also, please don’t tell me “you knew what you were signing up for,” because no tf I didn’t, I knew I love this man, I knew things were good, and then we got married and the anger came out, and here I am asking a bunch of men on the internet because I am chronically anxious and my husband won’t talk about his feelings.

Found out we’re probably losing our family home one way or another, because my grandparents own my home, but wrote it in the will to go to my father. my father owes child support, and my grandfather is currently in short term care, potentially looking at LTC facility so everything gets liquidated anyway. I’ve already asked to have the house change ownership, to protect me and my family since we’ve been here since I was a child, but everyone laughs.
Putting it this way sounds like I’m entitled, I promise I’m not, but last time I wrote it out, it got flagged that I was asking for handouts.

I chose a 2020 Jetta 6speed manual, and I didn’t like the clutch, or how close to the steering wheel I had to be to push it the whole way down (short girl probs) 2 weeks ago. I chose a different car, and they were supposed to pick it up the day I got my other car….lo and behold, no one knows how to drive manual. They have sent 2 different people out, and then said they’ll get a tow truck to pick it up….its still sitting in my drive way taking up space.
Anyone got advice on how to get them to pick up their damn car? I’m tired of looking at it, and it’s taking up space. Also we have called relentlessly the past week, and they’re liken ”oh we’re not sure why it’s not picked up yet.”