u/nick164505461

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It happened with several things but rn it's Heated Rivalry. Everytime I remember it my chest hurts, physically it hurts.

I watched it right when my bf and I had a fight, I'm not doing well with life, and also he plays rugby, wich of course is a sport where being gay is an insult and seen as bad or weak. Wich I've always been scared of people telling him stuff bc he was never with a boy before me and I'm scared he'll find a girl and change me wich also happens in Heated Rivalry.

I'm not doing okay, I can't even listen to the songs from the series without feeling this tightness in the chess, it's really bad and strong breathing gets difficult and it hurts I feel like my heart it's gonna stop.

Idk what to do how to get over it bc it just felt too personal, several things in the series felt too personal and I wasn't ready for it and I feel like I can't take it anymore, I just cry bc it genuinely hurts and it makes me cry.

I want to be happy with my bf.

I also relapsed on SH after months, wich fucking sucks and I'm a mess and a failure.

I'm m18 and I fucking suck dude I'll never get better.

I've been clean for months, but I've been cutting for years, and I just relapsed after trying not to for weeks and weeks, I can't take any of this shit anymore, not my mom, not my dad, not myself, not school, not anything. I have three options of life, live as a fucking sick self harmer untill I kill myself from it, kill myself now, or be a fucking drunk mf that barely exists just bc he's yet alive somehow. I'm not looking forward for a long healthy life, I'm not doing anything to get it, I don't want to stop smoking and I only stopped drinking bc my bf wanted me to, I don't use drugs bc my bf also doesn't want me to, I don't want to stop harming myself.

I don't even know why the fuck I bother to even try, it's always the same, it's the circle or addiction, you think you're better but you know you never stop thinking about it and you're just waiting for the moment, I'm always waiting for the moment, and the moment always comes, bc that's fucking life, it'll always be, bc life is bullshit and it's not even worth living.

NOT TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 15. Y'all should wait

But whenever a teen asks for sexual advice they get bombed with "DON'T HAVE SEX" wich not only won't change anything, but it also isn't helpful, they won't listen and will have sex no matter what you say, they will be intrigued and will listen if you give advice and help, maybe be more human about it and not just say "don't"

I do think you can and should wait as long as you need to, there's no hurry on having sex, you'll have it all your life and I believe it's something you should enjoy in the safest way possible. Sex it's not just to have children, as some people imply, it's part of nature, but we also have organs that gives us pleasure for something and we shouldn't treat it as something dangerous, but share helpful advice and information SO IT CAN BE SAFE, even more when we shouldn't be doing it, like young teens, if they're gonna do it, the least we can do is give the necesary information

And don't even come with the "no sex before marriage" that's something you believe and you choose for YOURSELF

I think I don't forget anything but if I do I'll edit it later, I'm kinda tired rn

Thanks for reading

Edit: Let's not forget STI, protection is a MUST, taking it out before cumming IS NOT SAFE SEX