u/ooglasaur

Hi!

(I want to clarify, I am dealing with the mental health side of things too! This is purely a question for LOA)

I've been doing good recently, and I've seen great progress in how I'm treated by people.

However, and for the sake of this post I am going to be speaking from the lens of my old self,
I still see the effects of my bad actions.
To give quick context, I have been reactive, I've really hurt the people I love with the things I've said. I've pushed everyone away.

I don't want to feel or identify as being a monster when I'm hurt or scared.

So I've been deciding and living as if:
"I am someone who brings joy into the lives of everyone I meet"
"I am in control of my emotions, and I've always reacted with love and compassion"

Now, today I'm certainly having wavering thoughts but, for the most part, I feel like I AM the joyful me again - someone people would love to be friends with.
And, I know he exists because I have had such beautiful moments the majority of the time. I know I've brought so much love into the lives of my friends.

So I know I'm covered going forwards, I just have no idea how revision works - at all.

Messages and mean things we said to each other are still there, the feeling that I need to be forgiven still lingers, the urge to reach out and apologise again and again still exists.

So, I guess I am worrying about the how but - how does it work?

My revision process are affirmations like above, and also:
- I've written down what I would rather have happened, and I re read it.
- Occasionally I go through it in my head, although I am not the most potent visualiser consistently yet, although that is getting better too.
- When the thought comes up I say 'Nope that didn't happen, thats the old timeline, I always react with love!

I just can't wrap my head around it

Has anyone had experience developing their auditory visualisation?

I know that Aphantasia is really about visual images in your head.
However, Has anyone thought about your auditory (and other sensory) visualisation?

If you were to visualise a sound, or someones voice, (if you can at all conjure that up)
Is it:
The exact sound or their exact voice
OR
Your voice's best interpretation of it

I ask this because, some people do hear the other persons voice and, idk, the sound of a violin.
I however, only hear my own best recreation of such a sound.
As in, I do not hear another persons voice. If I am imagining a conversation between me and a friend, it is just a conversation between me....and me.
If I was to imagine the sound of a violin, it'd be as close in my head as I could make it with my own voice as if I were to do it aloud.

I have no idea where to start with this!
I've found great progress with visualisation by meditating. (I believe a pinned or the top post of all time has the method I used, I didn't know of it, but it is pretty much what I did!

Now that I've defeated visual images, I want to defeat this next boss!

I've also heard that people can imagine smells, and touch, and taste. So, there's a whole world out there (well, in here)

I just wanted to share this because I realised it and got excited haha!

So, I've been affirming primarily:

- Everything always works out for me
- I am always treated with warmth, love and respect

(There are some SP things too but this is seperate!)

Anyway so, I've essentially witnessed a lot more people and strangers being polite to me and smiling! The city I'm in, everyone is usually grumpy and to themselves LOL

This morning, when I was waiting for my coffee, the barista walked over to me, handed it directly to me with a big smile and wished me a good day!
(This is significant because, I've only ever seen them just call out when the drink is ready.)

It feels like it's working!

Also, as I am writing this, I realise I carry the assumption that people in my city are cold and grumpy, so I'll be changing that too lmao

I just had a walk, and in it I had a realisation. When I got home, I journaled straight away - because something clicked for me finally about manifesting and especially revision.

- A 4th dimensional being would witness a thing in it's past, present and future state simultaneously. Which checked the box for me about 'creation is already finished'
So even if there was only one timeline, the past, present and future already exist and have happened.
Which means if I were to make a choice between A and B -and there was only one timeline, my choice would be predetermined, and the choice in and of itself would just be an illusion.

But if there are infinite timelines, each choice A and B are very real.
So instead of choosing A, I would revise and chosen B instead, and my future would reflect that.

But I got stuck around here - because, this means that I must have an infinite amount of consciousnesses, and I can't at all fathom how that interaction works, if I revise, or I make a different choice, am I not stepping into the consciousness of another version of me?

On that note, what if the key to changing or shifting reality is to do something against what you feel you would normally do? If your instinct is to make choice A, then choosing choice B shifts your timeline

Lets say, I'm affirming and visualising
"I am always in control of my emotions"

And I do this for a long period of time, until I really believe it and really feel it.
And then I start a new affirmation
"I am always compassionate and loving"

Do I still maintain my prior positive self concept affirmation?

I'm in the process of trying to rid myself of my toxic behaviours. (There are other things outside of manifestation that I am doing, such as therapy).
So I'm thinking about getting through each thing, one by one, and changing my mindset about it - I desperately want it to stick. I want to be a better person.

Hi, I made a post yesterday where y'all where really helpful, thank you ❤️

In this post, I've been thinking about how to revise a negative situation, and also affirming.

To give minimal context, I created a bad circumstance, I reacted badly and became very unkind.

I am want to revise that day, in particular - affirming:

- I am someone who is always in control of my emotions
- I always react with compassion, love and kindness
- I am always understood and respected

When revising, I've scripted it all out, and it comes down to our conversation went well, I was nervous but I stayed compassionate and loving, and we ended the conversation on good terms. (There's more detail, I just want to summarise it!)

My first question:
- If I revise like this, but also affirm something like 'I am always forgiven' or even affirm something like Ho'oponono, (I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you) - is there a concern for contradicting my revisions?
-> There may be other things that I'm forgetting but, in general I am afraid of contradicting.

My 2nd question:
this might be thinking about the how too much but I can't wrap my head around it.
My questions about memory relating to the incident was answered in one of the side panel's hyperlinks 'Lets talk about revision' by user gravitybee1.
But, What happens to the physical things, to the things that I said, the messages that I wrote are still there, the messages the other people wrote are still there - the event left behind things that absolutely happened.
(I had told someone in my brief after-apology that I wont contact them, and I don't wish them to contact me again)
I am trying to not focus on the how, but it seems so impossible to me.

I'm honestly not sure how to phrase my question.

Here's some of the things I've been doing to be better:

- Therapy, first and foremost, I see this as equipping my
- Spirituality and manifestation - I am drawn to the idea, or hope that I can tell myself I can be a good person and that I'm not the version of me that runs away, or acts hateful and spiteful to the people i love.
- Meditation, self love and exercise
- Trying to quit alcohol

There is a version of me that is full of joy. That makes people laugh. That people love to be around. There is a version of me that is goofy and dances to silly songs like 'shiny teeth' from Fairly Odd Parents.
There is a version of me that is compassionate, loving, caring.

But there is also a version of me that, when an argument gets heated enough or I get emotionally out of control enough; I lose all of the good in me and I become mean and spiteful. I will block people and abandon them because I'm so scared of being abandoned.
I will say hateful cruel things to people as I spiral out.

For the past 2 months, I've been post a serious break up, one where I spiralled incredibly hard and ended up going to therapy asap, and have been going since.

In those 2 months, I'd spiralled a lot and reached for alcohol etc, but I was doing better, and better, and better.
Eventually, I reached out to my ex and i was SO confident that no matter what she says, I will be okay and I have the tools to get through it.
I was wrong.

It feels like, even with all the shiny tools I have, even with all the positive thinking I have, all the work I thought I did, I still reacted the same way and hurt everyone close to me again.

I'm hoping that someone out here will have gone through something similar and can help, or if just anyone has any advice.

I made a little formula that describes my reaction process, if it helps
-> Fear -> Trigger -> intense emotion and or reaction -> Alcohol -> spiral and acting of negative behaviour

I KNOW I can be better. I've seen the joy in my face. I've seen the joy in faces of other people -strangers and friends.
I don't know how to get their forgiveness back, and maybe I'll never talk to them again, but moving forward, making new friends, I can't keep hurting people.

I'm 30 years old, this cycle is dreadful.

I often see circumstances not mattering being mentioned when it's teh other person that's done something bad like there was cheating or arguing or whatever from the SP.

But, what about when I caused the problem?
I got into a fight with my ex and said some really mean things.

While the whole psychology side of what happened is being dealt with, when I spiralled I was really mean.

It's not even about getting my SP back anymore, I don't want to be the kind of person that reacts that way no matter how hurt I am and I especially don't want to be the kind of person that says horrible things.
I want to revise the incident, and I want to strengthen my self-concept, but I'm scared the damage is so far done. I don't want to have hurt this person, but I did.

The selfish part of me still wants a connection with my ex, even if it just means being friends or even if it just means being civil to each other.

Is the approach the same if I'm the one that caused the problem, if my spiral and my words hurt someone else, instead of the other way around?