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Guys I’m on 9th day of sertaline I keep having these thoughts the voice in my head feels loud like I’m going to die I’m going to be punished sometimes I’m okay but now I feel like I’m going to die and my mind is just fucking with me so hard idk I hate this but everything feels intense the mental loops EVERYTNING am I okay is this normal my panic attacks are so bad at night and my heart is like gonna pump out of my chest what’s wrong is this normal and I okay is this okay am I okay

Hi everyone I have been fighting with myself for a week whether or not I should start this medication and I have leaned more that this may be better for me. I am 22M. I struggle everyday with panic attacks and constant mental loops and a lot more. I just want to know any advice. I also am on Lyrica which does mellow me if I have a panic attack but I just want these mental loops and all this shit to stop. Any advice is appreciated!

I myself have failed my soul. It was Dec 14th 2024 I went to my last ever rave which made me feel it was my last time walking on this earth. The rave felt like hell. I seen the ugliness in it. I will not go into detail about this because I have been out of that life since. Anyways, on Dec 16th I spoke to my mum very late at night it was a deep talk about my connection with Allah (God) and how I feel he is mad at me and hates me. Long story short she comforted me and told me. Go into your room and pledge your soul and ask for forgiveness. In saying so. I did and Alhamdulliah best decision of my life. I felt the presence of me being forgiven. But I didn’t know the journey would be rough. You go through a honey moon phase of loving and doing everything for him and then it feels as tho he opened your heart to him and only him until he sends you back into the real world. I still struggle with desires of raves and drugs but I have been sober ever since Dec 14th 2024. Anyways, after this honeymoons phase ends it’s still strong you know I still pray and do my obligations but it feels as thought I am living. Some days I love Allah some days I hate him but still turn to him. I also made a pledge to myself other than the drugs and stuff I told myself to stop porn and evrything in which I did from from the day I pledged myself to him.

From that day I stopped porn and it was the best decision of my life. I stop it from Dec 2024 until last week came. I was alone I was fighting my desire I can feel the free will of not having to do it but I still decided to go and watch porn. I feel so ashamed that after a year and a half I went back to something that I knew is wrong and even when I w*nked and finished it felt empty. I feel worthless I feel as thought I shouldn’t have done. I felt myself choosing between free will. It’s like the decision was infront of me but no fucks given I still did it. Have I failed as a man. I feel as well now my feed on a lot of social media is people sharing their journey of stopping porn and then there is me. I was apart of that journey now I fell off. I’m scared I will fall deeper into my old self. I love you guys all. I pray for every human and soul on this earth because idk. I feel empty and dumb. Idk what else to say but my mind knows sooooooooo much too say always running.

I myself have failed my soul. It was Dec 14th 2024 I went to my last ever rave which made me feel it was my last time walking on this earth. The rave felt like hell. I seen the ugliness in it. I will not go into detail about this because I have been out of that life since. Anyways, on Dec 16th I spoke to my mum very late at night it was a deep talk about my connection with Allah (God) and how I feel he is mad at me and hates me. Long story short she comforted me and told me. Go into your room and pledge your soul and ask for forgiveness. In saying so. I did and Alhamdulliah best decision of my life. I felt the presence of me being forgiven. But I didn’t know the journey would be rough. You go through a honey moon phase of loving and doing everything for him and then it feels as tho he opened your heart to him and only him until he sends you back into the real world. I still struggle with desires of raves and drugs but I have been sober ever since Dec 14th 2024. Anyways, after this honeymoons phase ends it’s still strong you know I still pray and do my obligations but it feels as thought I am living. Some days I love Allah some days I hate him but still turn to him. I also made a pledge to myself other than the drugs and stuff I told myself to stop porn and evrything in which I did from from the day I pledged myself to him.

From that day I stopped porn and it was the best decision of my life. I stop it from Dec 2024 until last week came. I was alone I was fighting my desire I can feel the free will of not having to do it but I still decided to go and watch porn. I feel so ashamed that after a year and a half I went back to something that I knew is wrong and even when I w*nked and finished it felt empty. I feel worthless I feel as thought I shouldn’t have done. I felt myself choosing between free will. It’s like the decision was infront of me but no fucks given I still did it. Have I failed as a man. I feel as well now my feed on a lot of social media is people sharing their journey of stopping porn and then there is me. I was apart of that journey now I fell off. I’m scared I will fall deeper into my old self. I love you guys all. I pray for every human and soul on this earth because idk. I feel empty and dumb. Idk what else to say but my mind knows sooooooooo much too say always running.

Anyways,

That is the TruthOffMyChest.