u/pandasbigday

35 weeks today. I’m increasingly uncomfortable but not ready for pregnancy to end. I am so worried about being unprepared. I didn’t really start nesting until yesterday…we have no family closer than 6 hours away and my mother is deceased. I’m not close with my in-laws at all and my MIL is very disabled so wouldn’t be able to help anyway.

I plan/hope to EBF but know I should prep bottles. I have washed only two loads of baby clothes…haven’t even begun to wash the blankets let alone bottles and pump parts.

We plan to bedshare but haven’t put the rail up. I just feel like time is running out and nothing is going to get done. I’m really afraid of becoming a mother and my husband is afraid of becoming a father. We only got married in October and that was after about 2 years of dating. This has been a huge leap of faith for us.

Freezer meals? Not happening lol. Fortunately we have a very caring church community who will support us with a meal train.

Midwife is coming on Tuesday for the home visit to make sure everything looks good.

I think I just need to hear that it’s going to be okay, somehow.

https://preview.redd.it/e0k0jffla58h1.png?width=1048&format=png&auto=webp&s=7ff0e3dafca67915e915fb64f29ba795409a79ec

https://preview.redd.it/be2oypxra58h1.png?width=1006&format=png&auto=webp&s=a434521a093f0cbef11c6be81acacf3ae54c73a1

https://preview.redd.it/o1ppspxra58h1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=0d8df7c24d34d43ae7b5de1f5767144100c962c3

I promised I'd share the rest of the Abby letters from my mom to my sister, and planned to do so on the anniversaries of the days they were written. However, I hadn't been able to bring myself to read them again for a little while once my mom's death anniversary came around on May 28. So instead, I am sharing these two on the anniversary of Abby's due date (June 18, 1986) that she didn't quite make it to. For ease of reading and to clarify the dates on which these were written, I'll type a transcription in the comments as I've done with the previous letters.

For anyone who's unfamiliar with the backstory here, my mother lost her first daughter (and second born) at 36 weeks to a true knot of the umbilical cord. Abby was supposed to be my mom's rainbow baby after 3 first trimester losses. I was instead, five years after my sister was born. Abby would have been 40 on May 21 this year.

Thank you all again, from the bottom of my heart, for being witnesses to my mom's story and my sister's memory.

ETA: In letter 3 (the first one in this post), the little object over some of the writing is a flower my mom had pressed into the envelope with that letter. My mom loved flowers, worked in floral design for a bit, and wrote in a previous letter that all the sympathy bouquets she received were for Abby, and how the color from all of the bouquets could dazzle "the most immature of eyes, but not closed eyes."

I know this won’t apply to everyone as we are all from different backgrounds, and I promise not to proselytize at all. But I wanted to offer the only thing I can think of to anyone who’s interested.

My church has a monthly memorial service (a Panikhida is what we call it), where the choir sings, the priest prays for and reads a list of names we submit of people who passed during that month, however recent or many years ago.

Last month I was able to have both my mom and my sister commemorated and hearing their names was so nice.

If you are comfortable with this and would like for me to submit your baby’s name to be read and prayed for for the month of June, please reply with their name (and the date that they passed and anything else that’s on your heart to share about them, if you’d like) 🤍 I’m happy to do this every month as well.

Unfortunately I cannot record the service, but I’ll try to get a copy of the list and some photos of the service, the text of the prayers, etc.

ETA: the service is June 27, with submission cutoff being the 25th so there is still plenty of time to get names in.

My dad and my MIL hate it and MIL says she would refuse to call our baby anything other than Edie. We wanted the nickname Edie anyway but is it really that bad!? My husband and I both like it a lot.

Our last name begins with W but having heard from other EW’s we understand it’s rare to actually get picked on for having those initials.

Virginia will almost certainly be the middle name no matter what first name we go with.

The other name we’re considering is Abigail and we’d probably exclusively call her Abby.

Posted recently trying to decide on a stroller.

I have found an excellent condition used UPPAbaby Cruz v2 from 2022 that the seller is selling along with an UPPA bassinet all for $450!

Now the dilemma I am in is whether to get a nice car seat (will also try to find secondhand) or just get a Graco or something equally low cost. There’s a woman on marketplace selling her Nuna Pipa RX from 2022 plus two bases for $200. I know that a new Graco would cost about the same amount, and some people on Marketplace are selling gently used Graco seats for under $100.

I definitely prefer the materials of the Nuna (I lean crunchy/low-tox), but I know most babies outgrow their bucket seat in 12-18 months. My brother and I were very big newborns (9 lbs 10 oz, 9 lbs 14 respectively) so it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that the lifespan of our bucket seat would be even shorter lol.

Future children are up in the air.

I know there is no way to make a Graco fit in the Cruz, but wouldn’t baby be able to go in the regular Cruz seat by the time she outgrows the bassinet stage?

What are some pros/cons I’m not thinking of?

Thanks again!

ETA: I do plan on taking the bucket seat out of the car and carrying it once baby has outgrown the bassinet stage. I’ve seen a lot of parents around who don’t use a stroller, just keep baby in a car seat and place that into a grocery cart or on the floor or a chair at a cafes/restaurants. So jumping straight to a convertible seat doesn’t seem the way to go for me.

FTM to be here, planning a homebirth! I’m very nervous about it.

Right now, I’m trying to choose between continuing to see a chiropractor or a pelvic PT. I have seen both a few times, for low back and hip pain that started around 24 weeks.

I was seeing a chiro for $4/per visit but tbh it’s too far away, I live in a place with tons of traffic and gas prices are soaring so it was just adding more stress. I’d stand or sit in the waiting room for 25 min, roll on the therapy bed for 10 min and then 90 sec adjustment. I started seeing a different chiro 10 min from me in her home and she is amazing. Hour long visits with lots of chatting and emotional support. She is not covered by insurance and is $60/visit, but can do a package of 12 sessions for $486.

I also started seeing a pelvic PT. She is also not covered by insurance but seems great. She’s given me some at home exercises and stretches that have been helpful. Her rate is $125/visit or $315 for 3 visits paid together.

If you’ve done both or either of these things which would you recommend keeping? Realistically my husband and I cannot afford both. The homebirth midwife is $6000, doula is $1800 and birth classes are $325. Plus the countless other costs 😅

Any input is helpful, thank you!