u/pangea1430

Your gold star for hanging in there.

After nearly 6 months of Staring Spells, Muscular jerking, and a few bouts of sudden confusion & disorientation, I am finally seeing my neurologist tomorrow! Hoping all goes well.

I, just last week, sprained my right ankle which has been sprained 5 times prior with all but one being grade 2(partial ligament tear), one was grade 3(Total ligament tear), I also have sprained my knee 4 times as well. I know I will have so many more sprains in my life possibly up to 30. And I also know that a majority of them will be caused by my ankle spontaneously rolling. I do not know how I am not using a cane at this point with how often I fall or injure my self, or misjudging my position near an edge.

I have read almost everywhere about Aspies and Autistics "Masking" their traits in public and I tried once and it was hell on earth trying to hide my disability, so I never tried to mask again, I now just let people know I am challenged just move on with life. But still I am curious on how it is done? Or is it subconsciously done?

I DO NOT CARE if this gets me "cancelled", or banned I need to get this off my chest.

Being an Aspie, I feel like the world is just so hateful, and twisted. Like how both US parties are at each other’s throats saying that the other side is an evil selfish party(this is why I don’t vote), the whole Pride month thing and the homophobe issue, the terrorism, communism, facism, wars, and then they just keep talking as if everyone should be accepting of each other, which leads to more hate. I just feel like the world is too hateful and I worry that Autism, and Asperger Syndrome will get caught up in this. I am just tired of hearing it all the time.

Like I said, I just needed to get this off my chest, even if I am "cancelled".

Note: I have not yet officially been diagnosed with epilepsy.
It has been a little over 3 months since my first incident where I felt lost and confused in my own home and was unable to read anything. Since then my spells have become a near daily occurrence with some days having up to 3-5 spells of staring. Since then my spells have started occurring while I am talking and end up making me stick on the sound I am on. My friend’s dad had witnessed me having one and grabbed my arms which brought me back to reality. This was the incident that finally got me an appointment with a doctor which I hope provides answers. Other effects include: Being unable to understand words(written or spoken), and trouble speaking fluently after 2 or more spells.(Substituting words with gibberish, or omitting syllables in words[saying ‘cado’ instead of ‘avocado’])
In short it’s very frustrating, but I am about to get answers.