u/peanutbuttercup1432

I got this from the internet.

It’s taken me a lot of therapy to realize my relationship with my mom is not normal. Growing up I was afraid to disagree with her or voice any dissent because the few times I did, she would shut down. I told myself I was just overly sensitive because to the outside world my mom was so much fun. And when things were good, they were really good. However, looking back I was her therapist and she had no boundaries with what she shared with me, especially about my dad (who she divorced) and it caused me to resent him.

However when I started dating my now husband, she started to get jealous and now she’s jealous of my relationship with my husband’s family. The other day she started crying and said “I just want my grand children to know who I am.” Keep in mind she seems them every weekend. Then last weekend, she texted my best friend saying she was “worried” about me because I am “too passive” and let my husband’s family “take over” my life. I called her and told her to talk to me if she has any concerns and she got angry saying she can’t talk to me because I get “mean and defensive.” She then told me that one day I will understand when my daughters get older and don’t talk to me. However she did agree not to ever get other people involved and later sent a text apologizing.

Today she came over to watch my kids and was all nice and the complete opposite of the previous conversation. She told me she wants to help pay for my kids daycare because she wants to “help out more.” (I will not be accepting anymore money from her).

She then said she started seeing a therapist and is learning about boundaries. She wants to schedule a time to talk with me and (at the advice of my therapist) I told her not this weekend because I am returning to work next week after maternity leave. I feel so confused because I never know what version of her I’m going to get, but I really do feel she wants to do better. I imagine this conversation will be her apologizing and telling me what she has learned, basically dumping all of her feelings on me and hoping it will fix things. Does anyone else have a parent like this? I’m so emotionally drained because I always end up feeling bad for her, but my walls are up.

Thanks for reading my vent!

Appreciate any feedback! Baby initially seemed uncomfortable but now is asleep 😴