u/performative-agender

Every morning i have to choose a style and sometimes it’s harder to do so and i dont have a criteria do this particularly makes me go late to places because i try different styles in a row, don’t know if making my face cuter or handsomer, etc 😭 shapeshifter problems

I’m genderless and i’m dysphoric of being put in binarism, but I like passing as an androgynous pretty gnc boy (not in a feminine way, but in a “boy who looks like masc lesbian” way), i mean, if people’s head will be binary, then that’s the version i enjoy to give off to them, despite instead i’m just an undefined being. However i’m scared of passing as a woman (of any expression) and i try to avoid it, it’s mostly the gaze or attention of cisnormative men that makes me feel disgusted. But in general, I feel uncomfortable with the general views that are put in “woman”, it makes me feel associated with many things i’m not

In the public average life i always try to give more toughness, i try to appear stronger, or more masculine but not just because i like it (i like it for sure and it comes natural for me) but it also makes me feel vulnerable if I don’t. It’s like unconsciously i want to tell fuck off to normative men who want me, and to women im not part of them (?)

Overall binarism sucks for me but i feel comfortable being read as “gnc androgynous boy” because it fits more with my expression. But if i was in a room only with other queer people that wouldn’t even gender me, then I wouldn’t care. Specially with another enby or if i had a trans girlfriend i would be so comfortable being feminine with her. I would look however because i would be treated as i am anyway

It’s crap sometimes i see a feminine look i like and would like to try, but i don’t want to go out like that because of how i feel and get treated in society. I try to carefully do it anyway when i really want to but can’t deny that the response of being seen as a girl makes me 🫥