u/perspsiSdoda

I am legally considered an "adult" now, yet I barely feel as if I am one -- as if my mental development had stunted when I was merely ten. I do not feel "mature" when I compare myself to the peers around me, as they talk about topics I barely comprehend. Maybe I am "simply lazy", but I can no longer meaningfully engage in my educational efforts properly due to work stress and the pressure my family puts on me -- the fear that I am unable to live up to their expectations.

A very important exam is coming up in two months, as well. An exam my family paid a great deal of money for. An exam which I know I will not pass in the time given. I cannot physically focus on the great, looming task of studying for the exam, no matter how hard I try. Many methods besides medication ("I no longer need it", they say, even though it yielded successful results before) have been made to make me focus. All have failed. Confiscating my device doesn't even help. So long as I have a corporeal form, I will find some way to distract myself.

I am so grossly unprepared for adult life, only having vague plans in the future, yet incapable of focusing on any of the requirements needed for them no matter how hard I try. I have spent my whole life dilly-dallying and am now just suffering the consequences.

Just last night, I was awakened in the middle of bed (and on a school day, mind you) by my father just for him to give a harshly-worded "lecture" about my future plans in life. I'm sure he meant well, but I laid restless in bed for the proceeding hours.

TL;DR Stress begets poor performance; poor performance begets stress. My parents are screaming at me about university and I feel utterly helpless as to what to do.