u/piercellus

I am 29F, queer. At this age, I find myself longing for a relationship and I desire to have a life partner that I can share my daily life with. I have good career and stable financially. I have bestfriends, circle of friends around me, I go to travel abroad twice a year, it seems like I have it all. Well except having a relationship because its so difficult for me to even feel attracted to anyone. It feels like I have so much to offer, yet no one to offer to? I dont know where to find people that matches me, really. I dont like dating apps, lgbtq events, partying and drinking culture so dont even think about it. I prefer meeting someone under a normal circumstances, organically. I feel like something is wrong with me. My friends are encouraging me to go for dating apps, those lgbtq events to meet more people. Those are not my values so I refused to do so. Plus I hate crowds and loud places as I get easily overstimulated. I dont want to go places where I dont want to be, in desperate search of ‘someone’.

I need a mental stimulation and emotional bond before I can even feel attracted to anyone. Its like seeing everyone in grey colour and dull. I dont feel attraction towards anyone no matter how good looking they are. The physical attraction only comes after I have developed feelings. But it takes ALOT for me to even develop feelings for anyone. I find myself to be sapiosexual as well which makes this even more difficult. I have certain standards but none of them are superficial. I’d want someone who can match my intelligence, possess emotional intelligence and maturity, shared hobbies/interests, able to talk about philosophical topics of life, and have similar wavelength with me. I value loyalty, honesty, communication and act of service very much. It comes to a point where I dont even bother about how much they earns so long they are able to meet me mentally and emotionally, and my friends told me my ‘financial bar’ is on the ground, apparently. To a certain extent they have a point, as I love travelling abroad so I’d want a partner who can afford to travel with me. I seek an equal relationship and shared interest/values.

I dont need grand gestures, I dont need expensive things, I just want someone who’s able to understand and connect with my worldview. To travel together and learn new cultures, be nerdy and have a healthy debates of each others views, go to museums and learn the history together. Perhaps just someone who buys me a random pokemon legos for my birthday and we build it together on the weekend? Perhaps someone who’d want to play games together with me? If we have differences, perhaps we can learn each other’s hobbies and do it together? Someone who I can go for grocery run with and we remember each other’s favourite yogurt and snacks? Someone who’s able to pick up random books at a bookstore and discuss about it together? Someone who can go to ikea with me and we build a cabinet together at our home? Someone who’s able to help with chores when I am busy at work? If I pay for the house, she can pay the utilities bills? If I do the cooking, she can help with the cleaning? (vice versa). This is the kind of life partnership that I truly desire.

Does any other demi feel the same way as me? Am i reaching for the moon and the sky? I welcome any reality check.

So today I expressed my genuine interest in a girl and got rejected. I appreciate and respect her honesty. To my surprise, the rejection actually didnt felt sooo bad. Well it does felt bad, but not as bad as I'd imagine. It felt like I had this chain tied to my hands, now it felt like I broke free from that chain. I truly felt relieved and empowered now. Prior, I asked myself what do I want out of this? My answer is that I only have one goal, clarity moving forward. Theres always two sides of the coins, but both serves as clarity either way.

I saw a quote "courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not the absence of fear". I think what its trying to say here is fear is still there, but you refused to let it take over you. In the past, I had this massive fear of rejection and abandonment where I used to be so scared of conveying my true feelings. I used to shrink myself to the expense of myself, as that fear of losing someone was bigger than fear of me losing myself. This was closely related to my self esteem issues. Now having read alot of self-help books, went to therapy and read people's experiences on reddit, I guess its a time for change. Im now doing things that I fear, even in the face of embarrassment, rejection or shame. I refused to be stuck with fear anymore. I realised that people end up together, got that job, obtained that opportunity, because they actually took that leap, they tried. They dont run away from fear or shame. They took that risk. Its also trusting in ourselves, even if not knowing how things will turns out. Yes, to trust oneself.

Not just in romantic relationships, but I noticed this at workplace the most. People always say we maintain high professionalism at work and thats not people in their truest form.

However, I beg to disagree on this. From my observation, moment of pressures are the circumstances that reveals people truest colours. The blaming and backstabbing game will start, because one would have to take the fall when shit goes wrong. Suddenly people become ‘forgetful’ at that very moment to avoid accountability. I find that very pathetic. When its time to be accountable, everyone starts to point fingers. Yes this happens in relationships as well. I guess its very human nature to avoid accountability? Why is it so difficult to admit own mistakes/fault and say “Yes i am at fault, i shall take accountability on this, give me a chance to rectify this”? Instead of working collectively to solve a problem or issue, why do people are so quick at blaming? Blaming anyone wont solve the issue. Working on the issue collectively, will likely produce better outcome. Humans seemed to lack discernment in time of pressure or dispute.

Now it made me realised, how can we improve our sense of accountability? Is it to work on self awareness? Managing ego? Confidence? What do you think? Feel free to share your thoughts.

What happens when 7th lord and darakaraka are the same planet? Does that means spouse will heavily carry traits and appearances of that planet?

Appreciate if anyone could also share your experiences with your Darakaraka & 7th lord. Thanks! 🙏🏼

(Note: I am taurus ascendant, having mars as 7th lord and darakaraka in 6th house libra. Mars also vargottama in navamsha, in conjunction with venus in 9th house libra)

How did you meet your spouse/partner?

What are you and your spouse profession?

Hows the relationship dynamic between you and your spouse initially?

I’ve been seeing trend of fear mongering post on the rise recently specifically on Taurus and Libra ascendants due to Jupiter transiting into Cancer on 2nd June 2026. Yes, its clear that Jupiter is functional malefic for Taurus and Libra.

Now that we usually feel the impact few weeks before the actual transit, do you feel any changes in whichever house Jupiter is transiting / aspects (5th, 7th and 9th) ?

How was your Jupiter transit in Gemini has been since 14 May 2025? Did any of general predictions of this transit came to fruition? If yes, in good way or bad way?

Would love to hear your experiences!