u/pindichole69

Hey everyone,
I’m a 21-year-old guy dating a 19-year-old girl. We’ve been together for the past 6 months, but we’ve known each other for about 1.5 years. From the beginning, we were kind of in a dating phase even before officially getting together.

She’s in her first year of medical college, and I graduated a year ago. I’m currently struggling with my career and a lot of things personally as well. For the past 4–5 months, our fights have been at their peak, and she knows why.

She was the one who proposed to me. Now, for the second time in 7 days, she has hinted that she wants to leave. Not directly, but through the things she says.

Today, like every day, I expected a call from her after college. She usually calls me around 5:30 PM when she’s free. Today she didn’t. I called her twice around 6 PM, but she didn’t pick up. Then I texted her, “If you’re sleeping, text me when you wake up.”
Five minutes later, she replied saying she was at the mall. But she hadn’t informed me before, and this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.
I felt she should have at least informed me. When she called me later after coming back, I told her that. I also told her that this behavior felt avoidant to me.
She admitted that she knew she should have called me, but she said she didn’t want a fight, so she chose not to.

Why is she becoming like this? It’s only been 6 months. She has made some new friends recently. There’s one guy in particular I don’t like, and I’ve already told her that.

About 7 days ago, I told her that some of our issues could be solved if she worked on communication and certain behaviors. After that, she sent me a long message saying she isn’t good for me, that she can’t do those things, and that whenever situations like this happen, she tends to shut down. Lack of communication and reciprocity has been one of our biggest issues.

Every time we have a major fight, she seems to pull away.

Today, during the argument, we weren’t really talking properly. I tend to explain things a lot, and I was explaining why I felt she was being avoidant. Then I asked her 3–4 times, “If you don’t like me anymore, then I have no right to ask you anything.”
She replied, “What if I don’t like you?”
I said, “Then you can walk away.”
The conversation kept stretching. I asked her if she wanted to break up, but she never gave a direct answer.

What hurts me the most is that when I’m at my lowest emotionally, she isn’t there for me. I’m a person too, and I need emotional support sometimes.

Then she said, “You don’t have to do anything. I’m the one. I’m exhausted. I can’t do this. I’m tired.”
I tried talking more. She was crying, and eventually I said, “Okay, your boyfriend is gone.”
After that, I tried talking to her more like a friend. I asked how she was feeling and tried to calm her down. Then I asked again if she still liked me.
She said she does like me.

I reminded her that a few minutes ago she had said otherwise. She replied that she sometimes goes through phases where she doesn’t want anything.
We talked a little more, and I tried to support her. Before ending the call, I asked if she wanted to sleep on a video call together. She strongly refused. I know I probably pushed too much, but I asked because I genuinely care about her.

The truth is, I genuinely love her. I want only her and nobody else. I want to become a better man for her.

My questions are:
How do I get the spark back in this relationship?
How do I get my respect back?
Is she emotionally exhausted, avoidant, losing feelings, or something else?
Am I being too demanding or needy without realizing it?
What should I improve about myself?
Lately, many of our fights have been related to her friends, late-night outings, and me feeling like she forgets about me when she’s with them. Sometimes I see her doing things with them that I wanted to do with her. I could be completely wrong here, and I’m willing to improve if that’s the case.
Right now, I’m struggling with my mental health, my career, and my relationship all at the same time.

Took help from ChatGPT to give this structure

This is short info it if someone can genuinely help me and want more context please it will be helpful

Thank you for reading.

Hey everyone,
I’m a 21-year-old guy dating a 19-year-old girl. We’ve been together for the past 6 months, but we’ve known each other for about 1.5 years. From the beginning, we were kind of in a dating phase even before officially getting together.

She’s in her first year of medical college, and I graduated a year ago. I’m currently struggling with my career and a lot of things personally as well. For the past 4–5 months, our fights have been at their peak, and she knows why.

She was the one who proposed to me. Now, for the second time in 7 days, she has hinted that she wants to leave. Not directly, but through the things she says.

Today, like every day, I expected a call from her after college. She usually calls me around 5:30 PM when she’s free. Today she didn’t. I called her twice around 6 PM, but she didn’t pick up. Then I texted her, “If you’re sleeping, text me when you wake up.”
Five minutes later, she replied saying she was at the mall. But she hadn’t informed me before, and this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.
I felt she should have at least informed me. When she called me later after coming back, I told her that. I also told her that this behavior felt avoidant to me.
She admitted that she knew she should have called me, but she said she didn’t want a fight, so she chose not to.

Why is she becoming like this? It’s only been 6 months. She has made some new friends recently. There’s one guy in particular I don’t like, and I’ve already told her that.

About 7 days ago, I told her that some of our issues could be solved if she worked on communication and certain behaviors. After that, she sent me a long message saying she isn’t good for me, that she can’t do those things, and that whenever situations like this happen, she tends to shut down. Lack of communication and reciprocity has been one of our biggest issues.

Every time we have a major fight, she seems to pull away.

Today, during the argument, we weren’t really talking properly. I tend to explain things a lot, and I was explaining why I felt she was being avoidant. Then I asked her 3–4 times, “If you don’t like me anymore, then I have no right to ask you anything.”
She replied, “What if I don’t like you?”
I said, “Then you can walk away.”
The conversation kept stretching. I asked her if she wanted to break up, but she never gave a direct answer.

What hurts me the most is that when I’m at my lowest emotionally, she isn’t there for me. I’m a person too, and I need emotional support sometimes.

Then she said, “You don’t have to do anything. I’m the one. I’m exhausted. I can’t do this. I’m tired.”
I tried talking more. She was crying, and eventually I said, “Okay, your boyfriend is gone.”
After that, I tried talking to her more like a friend. I asked how she was feeling and tried to calm her down. Then I asked again if she still liked me.
She said she does like me.

I reminded her that a few minutes ago she had said otherwise. She replied that she sometimes goes through phases where she doesn’t want anything.
We talked a little more, and I tried to support her. Before ending the call, I asked if she wanted to sleep on a video call together. She strongly refused. I know I probably pushed too much, but I asked because I genuinely care about her.

The truth is, I genuinely love her. I want only her and nobody else. I want to become a better man for her.

My questions are:
How do I get the spark back in this relationship?
How do I get my respect back?
Is she emotionally exhausted, avoidant, losing feelings, or something else?
Am I being too demanding or needy without realizing it?
What should I improve about myself?
Lately, many of our fights have been related to her friends, late-night outings, and me feeling like she forgets about me when she’s with them. Sometimes I see her doing things with them that I wanted to do with her. I could be completely wrong here, and I’m willing to improve if that’s the case.
Right now, I’m struggling with my mental health, my career, and my relationship all at the same time.

Took help from ChatGPT to give this structure

This is short info it if someone can genuinely help me and want more context please dm me it will be helpful

Thank you for reading.

Hey everyone,
I’m a 21-year-old guy dating a 19-year-old girl. We’ve been together for the past 6 months, but we’ve known each other for about 1.5 years. From the beginning, we were kind of in a dating phase even before officially getting together.
She’s in her first year of medical college, and I graduated a year ago. I’m currently struggling with my career and a lot of things personally as well. For the past 4–5 months, our fights have been at their peak, and she knows why.
She was the one who proposed to me. Now, for the second time in 7 days, she has hinted that she wants to leave. Not directly, but through the things she says.
Today, like every day, I expected a call from her after college. She usually calls me around 5:30 PM when she’s free. Today she didn’t. I called her twice around 6 PM, but she didn’t pick up. Then I texted her, “If you’re sleeping, text me when you wake up.”
Five minutes later, she replied saying she was at the mall. But she hadn’t informed me before, and this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.
I felt she should have at least informed me. When she called me later after coming back, I told her that. I also told her that this behavior felt avoidant to me.
She admitted that she knew she should have called me, but she said she didn’t want a fight, so she chose not to.
Why is she becoming like this? It’s only been 6 months. She has made some new friends recently. There’s one guy in particular I don’t like, and I’ve already told her that.
About 7 days ago, I told her that some of our issues could be solved if she worked on communication and certain behaviors. After that, she sent me a long message saying she isn’t good for me, that she can’t do those things, and that whenever situations like this happen, she tends to shut down. Lack of communication and reciprocity has been one of our biggest issues.
Every time we have a major fight, she seems to pull away.
Today, during the argument, we weren’t really talking properly. I tend to explain things a lot, and I was explaining why I felt she was being avoidant. Then I asked her 3–4 times, “If you don’t like me anymore, then I have no right to ask you anything.”
She replied, “What if I don’t like you?”
I said, “Then you can walk away.”
The conversation kept stretching. I asked her if she wanted to break up, but she never gave a direct answer.
What hurts me the most is that when I’m at my lowest emotionally, she isn’t there for me. I’m a person too, and I need emotional support sometimes.
Then she said, “You don’t have to do anything. I’m the one. I’m exhausted. I can’t do this. I’m tired.”
I tried talking more. She was crying, and eventually I said, “Okay, your boyfriend is gone.”
After that, I tried talking to her more like a friend. I asked how she was feeling and tried to calm her down. Then I asked again if she still liked me.
She said she does like me.
I reminded her that a few minutes ago she had said otherwise. She replied that she sometimes goes through phases where she doesn’t want anything.
We talked a little more, and I tried to support her. Before ending the call, I asked if she wanted to sleep on a video call together. She strongly refused. I know I probably pushed too much, but I asked because I genuinely care about her.
The truth is, I genuinely love her. I want only her and nobody else. I want to become a better man for her.
My questions are:
How do I get the spark back in this relationship?
How do I get my respect back?
Is she emotionally exhausted, avoidant, losing feelings, or something else?
Am I being too demanding or needy without realizing it?
What should I improve about myself?
Lately, many of our fights have been related to her friends, late-night outings, and me feeling like she forgets about me when she’s with them. Sometimes I see her doing things with them that I wanted to do with her. I could be completely wrong here, and I’m willing to improve if that’s the case.
Right now, I’m struggling with my mental health, my career, and my relationship all at the same time.

Took help from ChatGPT to give this structure

This is short info it if someone can genuinely help me and want more context please dm me it will be helpful

Thank you for reading.

Hey 21(M) this side I am dating a girl 19 (M) from past 6 months. We know each other from past 1.6 years and from starting we were kinda like dating side. She is in 1st year medical college and I graduated 1 year ago not doing anything struggling this side to but from past 4-5 months the fights are on peak she knows why.

She was the one who proposed me and now it’s 2nd time in 7 days she said she wanna go not directly but see what happens today every day she calls me after getting free from college which is around 5:30 today she didn’t I called her 2 times around 6 she dost pick up then I texted that “if you are sleeping text me when you wake up “ she texted after 5 mins that she is in mall but she didn’t texted and it’s not the first time .

She should have called me which she didn’t and called me after coming from there and I told her she should have informed me then I said her this not the way you are a avoidant person .

She told me she knew she should have called me but she didn’t wanted a fight so she didn’t .
Why she is becoming toxic it’s just 6 months she got some friends I don’t like a guy and have told her that I don’t like him .

7 days before she told me she is not good for me when I told her that you should do that the main cause goes in side after that she texted me long that she is not good for me she can’t do that she goes off whenever something like this happens and she was missing on communication and reciprocity which wad cause . Every time because of fight she goes back .

Today because of today’s fight we were not taking I tend to explain more then I was explain you are avoidant and why then I asked 3-4 times if you don’t like me now then I have no authority to ask you anything again and again . She said “ what if I don’t like you” I said nothing then you can walk away
We stretched that I asked you sure you want breakup no answer. I hate it why she is not available at my lowest when I need her emotionally I am also a person .

Then we stretched she said you don’t have to do anything with this I am the one . I am exhausted I can’t do . I am tired .

Then I tried more she was kinda crying then I said okay your boyfriend is gone . Your friends this side can we talk little bit asked her how she is to stop crying and then asked you don’t like me now . She said she like me
Then I asked you said few minutes ago you don’t she said I got into phase where I don’t want anything .

Then talked a little bit more as a friend said your boyfriend is gone like shit . Kinda tried to talk to her then I asked to sleep on vc she denied very badly tried too much but she denied asked because I genuinely care for her .

See I genuinely love her so much I want her only no one else . I want to be better man for her and how can I get my spark back and my respect back .

We lately in fights because of kinda her friends late night going out not going now days and I feel like she forgets about me when with them and doing things with them which I wanted to do with her . I can be wrong here . I am ready to improve whatever it is

Struggling from many things mental health, career and relationship .

Sorry guys for my bad English and this is short information if someone can genuinely help me please help me out it will means a lot will share more and full details in Dm’s .
Forgive my bad English.