A short poem I wrote
Ὦ λεῦχ’ ὑδατοσύδνε Μαιονεῖσε
βάθη δώματ’ ἔχον πατρὸς παρ’ οἴκῳ,
ὑφ’ ὕδωρ νεφέλη, βάθους δαΐς τε,
ποῦ νῦν δώματ’ ἔχεις; ῥοῶν τίν’ οἰκεῖς;
νῷν γε τοὺς ἀβάτους, βίου τε νόσφιν;
ἰχθῦ, ποῖ σὺ πέφευκας, ὦ τάχιστε;
οὔπω, σ’ ἤρπασε μοῖρα, μοῖρα νήλης·
τὴν δᾷδ’ ἔσβεσε νῷν σκοτεινὰ κήδη.
Μὴ φίλ’ ἄρπασον αἰέν, εὔχομαί σοι.
Translation:
Oh white water-dwelling Maionese,
you who had deep dwellings at my father's house,
a cloud under the water, a torch of the depth,
where is now your dwelling? In which of the streams do you live?
In those us two cannot access, far away from life?
O fastest fish, where did you run away to?
You didn't: death, ruthless death snatched you away:
It extinguished the torch, to us a dark grief.
I beg you, don't always take away what's dear.
Sorry if the translation sounds crude or unidiomatic, English isn't my first language.
For context: Maionese (meaning indeed Mayonnaise) was a goldfish my dad kept in his pond. It turned white after a while, making it easy to spot: hence why I called it a cloud and a torch.
The poem was inspired by a verse from Aratus, when he wrote, referring to frogs, δείλαιαι γενεαὶ, πατέρες γυρίνων (quoting from memory, it's missing some words). The poem starts as if it was a cletic hymn, where I invoke the goldfish as if it was a god. The adjective ὑδατοσύδνoς is just the name of a Nymph declined as a masculine adjective; because of this I used it as if it was a title of the goldfish.
Are there any big mistakes in the grammar and / or syntax? The meter is Phalaecian hendecasyllable.