u/pricklymuffin20

You should be here celebrating however you want to. You should be working your ass off like you always loved doing on a daily basis. You should be able to answer my calls and say "I love you too". You should be happy. I am sorry that depression and addiction took over your life at 40 years old. I am sorry I couldn't see you one last time. I will always feel guilty.

But at the same time, I am happy remembering you in the happiest times of your life. Not the bad times.

I love you forever, my love.

I sometimes wonder, was he thinking of me, too? I know it sounds selfish, but grief makes me that way. Im angry. I wonder if along with his mother and his son, did he say anything about me. Did he think of me. How it would affect everyone. No one will ever know.

And now we are left living with the peices.

I wish he thought it out before he took the matter in his own hands.

I wish that he would have called me that night.. and I would have called the police right away.

Any of you who lost someone to suicide, can you relate?

You go days, weeks, months, YEARS... wondering. But you have to keep living the unknown.

Hello, this is my first post of this subreddit. I have been a christian my whole life, but after my partner passed away almost a week ago, witch was the hardest loss I have been going through, I want to know how do we know they are in heaven... I always search for some kind of sign.

I want to get back in the bible though, after all this. I just know theres so many different opinions on afterlife, heaven and everything involved.

I know this death will be the hardest loss I've ever been through. I have never even experienced such grief already with family members or even pets I grew up with. You can probably see why.

I am trying to get back into believing whole heartedly again. I do have a pastor, but getting to church has been difficult.

-I just want to know, how did you know that they were safe again and what made you feel peace knowing you will see them again one day.

-I also hear different posts about who we will see when we go to heaven. What if we werent close to the person for example, I thought we see everyone we ever came encounter with in our past life.

Thank you

For context, I dated this man in 2023, I have made posts here a number of times in the past ... I went to al anon for about 8 months in 2024 and he was my Q.

I think we always loved each other despite his major depressive disorder (diagnosed too) , he told me even a day before he died that he missed me and loved me ...

I think our relationship was always complicated. We never really broke up, just distanced ourselves from being at the time long distance.

He would always call me his baby, his love.

He died on Wednesday, June 24th. The manner of death was horrible. I just found out yesterday and I can't stop crying. I've distanced myself from everyone in my real life. I never thought he would actually go through with it.

He left behind his legacy and his case even made the news.... Because of the severity of the case.

I will miss him for the rest of my life. I've cried so many tears in the last 24 hours ... I feel so guilty but I know it's not anyone's fault. This grief process is going to be so weird.

I'm so heartbroken. It makes me want to quit drinking completely too.

I found out this morning. He died in June 24th. It was a shock to everyone, we may have not worked out because of differences. But I loved him and he loved me. I have been on and off crying all day. I just want this nightmare to be over. He had so much potential. & now he will no longer be in this life time.

I now know how it feels.

If love could have saved you, you would be here today, man. The whole world loved you, I dont think you had a problem with anyone... you had the kindest heart. I hope you look over all of us, give me a sign soon. I love you <3

I cant believe thiss is happening. He left behind a great family, a 10 year old boy, many friends and many neices and nephews. This was not something good to wake up too. I am heartbroken.

I have been seeing my therapist going on 2 years now, and things have been great. We had a rocky start and also a rocky era back in Janurary/Feburary this year with a bad case of transference on my part... but she said something back in Feburary that I still can't shake off my mind. She said that "it's not about me, its not about us, its about you, your space. Not our sace". (this was about 2 weeks after I confessed about the transference)

From time to time I just sit and think, is therapy right for me? Because I feel like a lot of the time I think of her as a friend in the back of my mind (I know shes not, its professional) but then I just cant snap that fact that it IS about us. It always should be about the therapist and client in the room. Because in my mind, if its only about me, then why am I talking to someone and paying someone one day a week to talk about my issues.

I feel that that statement that was made back in Feburary raised a lot of negative transference as well, because I just feel like, like i just said... should be about both of you.

Idk just feels like Im mirroring myself every tuesday afternoon for an hour.

We have been fine since. But just a thought. Can anyone relate.