u/procrastinating_b

He’s only 2.5 but stilll

**being

I’m genuinely feeling like I’m going insane how quick people give him a phone for just a second, or just to look at a photo. Like, talk to him?

About a week ago my mum told my toddler son if he didn’t get dressed his big cousin was going to laugh at him when we got there rather than giving him two options of outfits or something and yesterday he was told not going to bed and crying was making her sad. Ugh.

My kid is two and I allow occasional sugar free fruit shoots. Everyone around me acts like I’m crazy for not regularly allowing this?? Am I missing something?? It’s best to stick to water and milk??

ETA: I was more asking why sugar free was still bad (artificial shit being the answer given) and complaining about the judgment on my parenting.

Just looking for anyone’s experiences on making the change.

It’s still a relatively new diagnosis for me so there’s a lot going on right now.

I’m on a lot lower dose so I’m not sure if that’s part of the issue but I appear to be getting more absences that are a lot briefer.

Any advice?

With medication we appear to have moved me to just uncontrolled absences but at almost two years in I don’t feel like mum. Someone almost always has to be with us and it sucks ass.

I currently can feel them come on like less than half the tons too. The time after usually involves confusion and emotions so that’s fun.

Just….had another one today and I’d been planning on taking him to the library on the train on my day off and I’m too scared in case I have one at the wrong time and he gets hurt. Worlds wise mum.

I’m sure I’ve asked this before, just in a bad place tonight and asking again before trying to have an early night.

I’m fairly sure my health condition was caused by hormonal change after having my son although it’s never been confirmed. I’m almost two years in to an intending journey of learning how to live with it.

I currently can’t be left alone with him which kills me. But, there’s still some part of me dying to give him a sibling. It was always part of the ‘plan.’

Trying to accept by the time I go long enough without an issue it’ll be too late anyway and if I’m right about hormones then it’s not worth the risk.

Ugh.

Just another rant.

I feel like I'm saying shit like this all the time. I'm struggling.

My mental health has been shit forever but this is fucking different.

How do I adjust?

How do I learn to adult and mum with uncontrolled seizures?

Where is the me from pre tc. All I'm doing is crying. Fucking hell.

My doctor is moving me from Levetiracetam 1500g to brivaracetam 100g mostly due to my mental health and other side effects.

I’m struggling to find out more about the new medication if you have any advice!

I’ve caught myself crying almost daily lately about not being able to have number two.

I’ve almost cried as much about worrying I’ve let my son down with dealing with a depressed mum.

I know it’s off the table for us but I just can’t accept it. Ugh.

And less than 20 days absence free (and possibility less than a week nocturnal free.)

I waited till day after to post because I felt like I was jinxing myself haha.

When did that become something I also worry about lol

Can I have a sad moment here to help me process?

I’m almost two years since I started having seizures and my most recent one was two weeks ago. My relative has been running it as a second household car but it’s started having problems. It’s time. It’s right. I’m sad.

I don’t really know how to put this in to words but several colleagues have said several times I seem ‘off.’ I feel fine.

I’m tired, I’m depressed, I’m overwhelmed, and a million other things but it feels like people around my are trying to blame the epilepsy for everything and it’s a bit confusing for someone learning to do with the partials.

I guess I’m asking do you listen to what others think when you feel okay yourself??? I know none of you’ve seen me or whatever I’m just still feeling overwhelmed by today and going to bed so venting here again.

Not about myself as my son is almost 2.5 and we’ve had a mostly good experience with ours. But there was a post today about a negative experience with one and people were saying that you can refuse them.

Like what happens if you do that?

Wouldn’t every abuse parents just refuse?

So frustrated at the situation of not being able to get them under control anyway but two of my recent focal seizures have been just after getting to safe space with my two year old.

We’d just come back from the cafe down the road and been near water the other. I’m just at a loss on how to protect him and gain some independence.

We take him swimming most weeks and take in turns to go on the slide with him. I really need to stop that. Everything I do is a fucking danger.

I’m so checked out right now.

I got in to a discussion recently where I called Spider-Man’s and friends brain rot (despite not seeing it) because what I have seen is just bright colours etc.

This conversation went on to call bluey out (which I do let my child watch) due to the short episodes.

I’m also having to heavily rely on family childcare due to health issues and I know they allow him to watch unboxing videos sometimes which to me is trash (but you pay for free childcare.)

My main rule I guess is always on TV never on hand held!

(Disclaimer my kid is only two.)

I’m not justifying my behaviour but I’m fairly sure some of my mood swings lately are either medication or epilepsy caused.

Sometimes I’m aware I’m being irrational (or at least over the top!) how do you talk yourself down in the moment?

I don’t think it’s fair on my partner in particular but also don’t think he’s always being fair to me in how he’s acting but the blow up is more than it needs to be.

I'm sat here hanging around for a lift because everyone's too scared to leave me on my own.

Of course I'm a fucking burden.