r/lowscreenparenting

I'm a new dad and I've realised most screen-time apps are built around restrictions.

We wondered if there was another way.

Instead of simply limiting YouTube or Roblox, we're testing the idea of children earning screen time through things like reading, educational apps, exercise and chores.

The more positive habits they complete, the more screen time they unlock themselves.

I'd love some honest opinions from parents:
• Would your child respond to this?
• What would stop you using it?
• Have you tried anything that actually reduced the daily arguments?

I'm genuinely looking for feedback before we finish building it.

I 29m have a 7-year-old daughter who stays with her mom M-F, and I get her on the weekends. For her birthday last year, her mom purchased her an iPad. The first few months I allowed her to bring her iPad when she came to stay with me. Over time I've noticed she is much too addicted to it, so I've set a clear boundary; no iPad at Dad's house. This has caused tantrums upon tantrums and ultimately, she starts wanting to go home nearly immediately when she's dropped off on Friday. It's stayed this way consistently for a month a half of weekends. I've done my due diligence in attempting to keep her busy with other things on the weekends as well, but she craves her iPad. Do I allow her to bring it again? Do I get her in some type of counseling? Her mom allows her to use the iPad any time she wants without structure or boundaries and the attempted implementation of structure at my house is met with a lot of resistance. How do i approach this situation?

I'm really struggling with this. I've tried setting screen time limits, hiding my phone, offering fun alternatives, and explaining why too much screen time isn't healthy. But my 8-year-old daughter still finds ways to sneak my phone whenever she gets the chance.

I don't want to keep scolding her all the time or turn this into a daily fight. I also don't want it to affect the trust between us.

Has anyone else gone through this? What actually worked for you? I'd really appreciate practical advice from parents who've been in the same situation.

Im struggling with routine for my 6yr old son who is now very attached to his minecraft gaming. I can take away the tablet but I am also faced with whining, complaints and the constant questioning. I just want some tips on how you handle your children and limit screen time. Do you spend time preparing alternative activities? What if you are a working parent? What is your routine? How to balance this in a way that doesn't require me to hire a nanny or a tutor etc.

Hi everyone! Hope it’s okay to share this here.

I’ve seen quite a few posts from parents looking for ways to make long car rides a little less screen-dependent. My wife and I were in the same boat, so I ended up creating an interactive podcast called Adventure Highway.

It isn’t just a story. Each episode is an interactive mystery that encourages kids to look outside the car window to spot clues, notice interesting things around them and help solve the mystery.

We’ve only released a handful of episodes so far, but we’re adding new ones every week. If anyone gives it a try, I’d love to hear what worked, what didn’t, and what your kids thought. I’m still refining it and want to make it as helpful as possible for families.

Thanks for letting me share.

Okay so this kinda a rant but also I would like some advice, I'm a new mom and I dont have any mom friends. My baby recently has been showing a lot if interest in other babies so I started going to story time at out local library my bubs has been having a blast(as well as myself getting to socialize with other parents has been great), in the beginning they go over rules one of them is "no phones it's very important for you baby to get your undivided attention" and of course in today's world people are still glued to the phone most if the time parents are just on their phones or recording their own baby imo thats no biggie.

Today in story time there were a couple parents recording the whole group very obviously. I was hoping the lady would reiterate no phones, but she never did. I ended up leaving. I dont post my baby I dont share pictures either I understand its a public place but they say no phones, my bubs has been loving story time and it irritates me that we might have to stop going. I was thinking of going early next week to talk to the lady who runs it about people recording other babies is that a over stretch??

My husband and I lived together for 3 years before getting married and having a child together, I enjoyed watching TV with him as well but since my daughter was born I only watch TV after she is asleep (if at all).

I am starting to realise that my husband might be addicted to screens... how do you navigate keeping low screentime for kids when one parent doesnt see screens as a problem.

He has a 14 year old son who is basically glued to the screen literally till mornibg during weekends n summer vacation and hates leaving the house, I dont want my baby to be like that!

[3yo & 6yo]
My wife and I have decided that the 24/7 screen time needs to stop. The kids are good, no tantrums or anything like that. But they both have poor attention span and communication skills. From the moment they wake up, they have the TV remote. No tablets/portables. At first, we saw no harm in it. I work, my wife goes to school, and the kids sit in the floor and watch a low budget CGI dump truck sing colors, numbers, and the alphabet to them. Not sure what triggered it, but we want to change it.
So we are looking for some tips.
Immediately, my first question; do we like “ween” them down? Maybe limit them to 6 hours a day for a week? Or go straight to 1 hour a day?
Secondly, what structure do you use? Is it a reward? An allowance? “You get X hour per day, use it wisely”? Or “Good job cleaning your room, you’ve earned an hour”?
They’ve always gone to bed with a movie or documentary on that me or my wife picks. Something classic like “Homeward bound” or an animal documentary on Disney. Should we stop doing that too?
My wife takes them for 30-60 minute car rides several times a week running errands, and there is a TV in her minivan that they normally watch. Should that be free? Or cost them their time?
Is music the same as screen time? The kids like making Alexa play various pop songs.
I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts and ideas!

Attn: to everyone freaking out over the “6 hours a day”, it was just a random number. I’m asking for ideas, not giving you options to pick from.

I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old, I never know what to do with my 2 year old when we are at home, she loves colouring but I can't trust her to be alone with pens/pencils or crayons because she will end up eating them, I rely on TV shows a lot and I hate how much screen time she gets, on a normal week we go out to a toddlers group every day but currently I'm potty training my 2 year old, I don't really have much money either. What can I do that will entertain my kids without using a screen?

An op-ed about how the library kid section would be great if it weren’t for the giant interactive touch screens they installed.

Hi everyone! We’re a low screen household and I have a 3.5yr old and a 14 month old. My husband is working a job with longer hours, so I’m not able to rely on childcare during that 5pm slot for cooking dinner.

I am really trying to limit tv and don’t want to use it every night, even though it gets food on the table. But is this something I need to compromise on, and just accept using tv more? I already try to make food with low prep. But i am still usually in the kitchen, then rushing around the peninsula to grab the baby and break up a fight or try to get the two occupied with some other toy/activity, without burning stuff. It’s exhausting and stressful.

What do you guys do when it’s time to meal prep and cook, instead of using tv?

Controversial topic, I know. So a little context:

My 4 y/o has flown multiple times, a handful of transatlantic hauls, and we’ve fared decently. She’s generally calm, consolable, and entertained by low tech toys, books, stories, etc.

My 2 y/o boy - on the other hand - is the complete opposite. He’s a runner, a climber, and a squirmer. He, too, has been on a few flights. 2.5 hours around 1.5 years old and 6-7 hours at 1 year old.

We’re gearing up for another transatlantic 6-7 hours and have decided that we’re just going to bite the bullet and have screens magically appear on a flight and magically disappear after. We’re not thrilled about it. But we’ve paid our dues and learned the hard way that it may be best for everyone involved.

We literally don’t even own an iPad. So my question is what should I load a used one I buy with. Are there particular apps that are recommended? Something that works offline? Something that is relatively low stim (is that an oxymoron for iPad apps?) Or just default to the American Airlines entertainment page and have them watch something story related?

Appreciate your insights!

I wrote this up as part of a comment on a different thread… but thought I would make my own post about it since I’m excited to talk about it.

And mostly, I want to know if your kids are “beavers” or “bowerbirds” when it comes to creative activities that are fulfilling to them. And which type are you? or perhaps a mix of both?

I read the first few chapters of the book Dopamine Kids by Michaleen Doucleff and it helped me come up with some new strategies for engaging my kids. (It also has an amazing discussion of what dopamine is and the early studies on rats and people and how scientists figured out that it’s not about pleasure- it’s really about motivation!) 

I enjoyed doing some of the exercises like making a list of family values and listing ways to encourage what your ideal family life would be like.

The book also discusses the different types of creativity and how it fills a need that is often filled with video game time instead. Humans have a need to create- but that need can be met in vastly different ways depending on the person.

I read about how some kids are “beavers” when it comes to creativity- they need to build big stuff, engineer and use tools with motors, or more risky tools like a hatchet to split wood (under supervision of course). They prefer big projects- painting a fence/fort, moving dirt to make a garden or build a small fish pond in the yard, etc. Using the electric hand mixer or other kitchen appliances appeal to them greatly. A lot of kids love games like Minecraft since it involves engineering and fills this creative need for them. (also, side note- my older son LOVED to vacuum as a toddler! He’s 100% an engineer)

Other kids are “bowerbirds” and have a need to work on small, detail oriented projects; painting, drawing, weaving, knitting, crochet, beading, friendship bracelets, working on miniature kits, jewelry making, etc. 

I’m a bowerbird type which is a total mismatch for my kids who are both beaver types when it comes to creative fulfillment/enjoyment. 

So lately, I’m digging into the “beaver/engineer” type of stuff to appeal to their interests better. Instead of making crepes for the kids- I asked them to help and after a little whining they had a lot of fun using the hand mixer! (I told them I won’t make crepes if they don‘t help out- and they ran to help since it’s their favorite breakfast food)

I put all the building/engineering toys in one spot so that it’s easy to access and gets my kids going. My little one created a puppet robot mecha that requires two people to operate and we’ve been making videos of the robot mech having battles with magnet tile buildings for the city. He actually stopped playing Minecraft and asked me to play with him!!! That never happens… but now it does since I’ve set the stage for meeting the creative needs specific to my kids.

Last weekend my older son(starting middle school next Sept) asked to use the circular saw we have in the garage. My husband gave in and said ok- and they found a few small projects to work on. They both had a great time! (yes he was supervised the whole time and wore safety gloves and eye/ear protection)

The more you expose your kids to a variety of activities and help them discover their creative preferences… the more they will want to do those things….

I hope this helps any parents on here… I found this distinction to be super interesting and helpful. Best of luck to you!

TL;DR:

Here‘s the list of activities for both creative types and also some that appeal to both types. which type are you? which type are your kids with ADHD?

Beaver activities to try

• Chopping, sawing, or splitting wood
•   Building ramps, forts, treehouses with wood, hammer, nails, et cetera
•   Painting large structures (e.g., fences, forts)
•   Carving or whittling scraps of wood
•   Pruning bushes or trees
•   Cutting grass
•   Digging holes and shoveling dirt (moving earth)
• Building with scrap card board boxes
•   Sanding or lathing
•   Upcycling old furniture by sanding, painting, repairing, et cetera
•   Repairing old car parts
•   Gardening (watering, transplanting, fertilizing, weeding, harvesting)
• Butchering meat
• Grinding grains with an electric mill

Bowerbird Activities to Try

•   Building small models of planes, houses, cars, rockets, and other machinery (think Soap Box Derby cars)
•   Building electronic circuits, including soldering components
• Textile activity: embroidery, knitting, crocheting, sewing
•   Painting, drawing, coloring
•   Paper quilling
•   Jewelry making (e.g., braiding or beading bracelets)
•   Constructing with clay
•   Dissecting plants and animals
•   Any construction with a glue gun (e.g., constructing out of pasta or beads)
•   Scrapbooking
•   Creating graphic novels or cartoons

All-Kid Construction Activities

•   Cooking and baking including chopping and slicing ingredients)
•   Building fires
•   Leatherworking
•   Robotics
•   Paper-mache
•   Building with Legos or creating marble mazes or really any type of maze or Rube Goldberg device)

So my daughter will be 6 months at the beginning of July. What are some good activities that you can do at home? She def still puts everything in her mouth. Any ideas would be great! Thanks.

hi! me and my husband were over pulling out the ipad/phone to look up recipes, food history, etc when our kids wanted to make stuff with us… which, with three kids, is quite often haha.

all the pop ups and ads and searching and distractions and then lots of questions about why and how etc…

so we made a monthly subscription that gets delivered to your mailbox with three recipes on super nice card stock, methods, food history & even comic instructions for nonreaders. it’s all hand drawn!

just wanted to share because it’s our mission to support families who do want lower screen time. want to cook together. want to just have a physical item to hold and reference without the fuss :)

Hi!

I have a 3 year-old, we are doing low screen and he loves listening to kids songs on my Youtube Music. Right now I‘d either play it for him on my phone (he asks me when he wants to change songs) or I‘d give him my e book reader (with e-ink BW screen) and connect it to our bluetooth speaker.

I’ve been eyeing Yoto players for a while now because it is screen free but English is not our first language so I’d have to download all his favorite songs and ebooks separately and upload it to the Yoto cards. We used to have an old MP3 player that he used but after a while having to find new ways to download from youtube every time gets tiring and we stopped using the mp3 player altogether…

Anyone experiencing something similar? Do you guys think it’ll worth it to get a Yoto or should we just keep using our current setup? Anyone knows a reliable way to download from Youtube that is not constantly blocked or needs update?

Thank you in advance!