u/asianmorticia

Thank you all for your responses before. I ended up deleting the post because I needed to take a break from reading them and have already been struggling with my mental health and severe mom-guilt since returning to work.

I had a long talk with my partner and we will now be limiting screen time to one TV episode per day.

Just to clear up some misconceptions:

* My child IS being read to (by me) at least an hour or two per day. This has been the case since birth. Prior to going back to work, I was also spending my entire day with the baby doing enrichment activities and nothing else.

* My partner DOES do house work (in fact has been doing all of it since I returned to work.)

* I also believe I gave the impression excessive screen time had been an ongoing problem the baby's whole life, but it has only been an issue since I returned full time to work (about a month.) Prior to that, the baby was not getting significant screen time (just in evenings while falling asleep--which still isn't great, I know. But baby was not conscious for most of it.)

* I think I gave the impression that the baby was also getting screen time when watched by me. The baby has NEVER gotten ANY screen time while being watched by me solo.

I talked it over with my partner, and it turns out that the excessive screen time was the result of a combo of overwhelm and bad pain days, not simply how they wanted to parent. We are working on ways to reduce overwhelm and reallocate chores to be more equitable.

My partner has now also agreed to read to the baby for at least 15 minutes per day, regardless of whether the baby seems "into it."

We also have agreed to have at least one outing per week with baby (starting small, hopefully we will have the capacity for more in the future).

If anyone has anymore constructive advice, that is much appreciated. As I said in my previous post, I do not need to be told that I'm a terrible mom, because I already feel that way and have struggled with debilitating guilt since returning to work. Sadly, I have no choice but to work 50-60 hour weeks right now and our family cannot afford daycare.

I'd really appreciate any screen free activities that you can think of that someone with chronic pain who is unable to get down on the floor could participate in. Thanks again!

I am incredibly guilty that we watch so much TV when we have a 13 month old. I really thought we'd be completely screen free parents, but my partner and I are both extremely addicted to TV, my partner especially. My partner does not believe that TV is harmful and no amount of studies will change their mind, but I understand how harmful it is and want to reduce our child's screen exposure. Short of breaking the TV covertly, I'm not sure how to reduce screen time.

I would appreciate any advice from other people who have managed to find balance for their family with a partner who does not support screen limits.

Please don't just link me studies to show my partner. My partner does not care about studies, will not read them, and will only become less cooperative. And I already know how damaging it is and already feel incredibly guilty about it. No, divorce is not on the table. They are an otherwise great partner and stay at home parent.

I need encouragement right now. I'm in a very bad place, just crippled with guilt about our screen time. We literally watched TV all weekend. I feel like a complete failure as a parent.

Our issue is not using the TV as a babysitter, but literally just us (my partner especially) watching TV for every free moment of the day. My partner has a chronic illness and doesn't have energy for much else in the way of entertainment on top of everything else.

We don't own tablets and I read to the baby for at least an hour per day, but I know that isn't enough to undo the damage of HOURS of TV per day.

I know that I need to be the driver of change here. Any advice and encouragement is much appreciated.

My 13-month-old tried to steal a phone, became belligerent when caught, battered me and my wife, peed directly on my wife's chest, and drank herself to sleep. If she didn't get prison time, she would be getting a serious intervention at minimum as an adult.

I am a Harvard-trained attorney with a wife and baby. I assume my most realistic escape route would be finding a job as in-house counsel for a US firm with offices abroad and getting a work-based visa.

My main reasons for wanting to leave the US:

• I survived two school shootings. The thought of my baby going to school here fills me with dread.
• My wife has survived being shot (not in a mass shooting, fortunately).
• I am a married lesbian and my wife and I have serious concerns about the future of LGBT rights in this country.

I don't care about taking a massive pay cut. I don't care if we have to live in a tiny apartment. I don't care if we have to learn a new language. I don't care if the weather sucks. I don't even care if the people suck. I want out.

My wife has her heart set on Ireland, but I am open to any country where I don't have to worry about our child being shot at school.

Yes, I am receiving treatment for PTSD. Even if my PTSD vanished overnight, I would still want out.

Any suggestions or reality checks are welcome. TIA!1

I'm looking for books of rhyming poetry specifically because I've read that it's good for babies' language and pre-literacy skill development. Thank you in advance!

I love reading challenges for adults that do things like tell you "read a book by a local author," "read an essay collection," or "read a translated poetry collection" etc.-- challenges that encourage me to read books I might not normally think of picking up. I am looking for something similar for my baby.

My current library doesn't have any beanstack challenges that we haven't already completed for my 10-month-old.

I was wondering if there was somewhere else where we could find fun reading challenges and possibly even a community of fellow parents reading to their kiddos. I would love to find a baby book club for parents reading to their children.

Thank you!

I love reading challenges for adults that do things like tell you "read a book by a local author," "read an essay collection," or "read a translated poetry collection" etc.-- challenges that encourage me to read books I might not normally think of picking up. I am looking for something similar for my baby.

My current library doesn't have any beanstack challenges that we haven't already completed for my 10-month-old.

I was wondering if there was somewhere else where we could find fun reading challenges and possibly even a community of fellow parents reading to their kiddos. I would love to find a baby book club for parents reading to their children.

Thank you!

I was just wondering if my family had done something wrong.

We check out about 20 children's books every week and we have a big home library so I read my baby about 20-30 books per day (and I also read the books I'm reading for my own pleasure out loud to her before bed, but I don't count that in her beanstack).

We are doing the 1000 books before kindergarten challenge and when we came in the other day to pick up a prize, the librarian seemed confused and a bit hostile like she didn't understand why we would be reading that much to an infant.

We always return our books on time and in good condition and we generally pick up our holds in a timely manner. We also don't linger in the children's library--we just pick up and drop off books, so it's not like we're being disruptive.

I'm just wondering if there's something we might have done to make the librarian dislike us that I haven't thought of.

Thank you in advance!