u/Over-type-07

I don't understand this. I set up Credit Union accounts for my kids when they were born because you know, thats where you save, and I've recently took the money out and tried some other savings options for them - a BOI Childsave, and a Zurich Childsaver Investment Account. But I'm so pissed off with the Credit Union. When I was a kid I saved money in the Credit Union and I remember the novelty of watching that money grow, not huge growth but some interest was paid so the amount increased.

Credit Unions are supposed to be not for profit but in the 7 years since I started my eldest's account, not a cent of interest was paid on those savings. They now charge fees for current accounts, and make plenty no doubt on all the loaning they do now - where the heck is all the money going?! How is it that a not for profit financial institution can't pay anything to its members?

Our local is Link Credit Union btw.

In the midst of trying to sleep train a 3 and 7 year old who room share. There have been nights where myself or Dad would play a podcast for them on our phones while falling asleep because this is a habit we ourselves have and there are such amazing podcasts for kids. But I obviously don’t want to leave a screen/phone in the room with them when I’ve left. Any ideas? I’d be happy to invest in some device that just allowed playing stories or podcasts. Those Tony boxes seem very expensive and you’ve to pay for each story right?

Myself and hubby love the name Jules for a girl. Not as a nickname but as a complete name. Our surname is longer so a short first name would be nice. I understand it’s a male name in France but I find it very strange that that would be an issue for anyone who doesn’t live in France, I live in Ireland, literally no one will associate this as a male name. I have only ever seen it used on girls characters in movies/tvshows so it feels and sounds very feminine to me.

Of course I could name her Juliet and use Jules as a nickname but it feels a bit roundabout doing that purely for the technicality when Jules is the name we actually like want her to be called. And no this is not a choosing a male name for our girl trend thing it feels like a girls name to me.

Our boys have quite old world but beautiful names, classic and elegant and Jules feels like a fit with them.

Love to hear opinions!

For anyone who took steroids (Prednisolone) to help get and stay pregnant… I took them for probably 8 months when doing the fertility treatment then up to 12 weeks of pregnancy. I’m at week 13.5 now, so grateful to be this far along, I see no reduction in fluid retention of moon face and man do I feel like crap! I gained 2st total since Christmas. My appetite is returning to normal thankfully so I’ll be eating well and limiting my gain for the remainder of the pregnancy. I had expected to lose some water weight and see normalisation of my puffy face within a few weeks but im reading that due to pregnancy this might be slower?

Daily, I see posts in here that describe varying levels of financial abuse, its clearly very common. Mothers, typically, who have no financial independence. Fathers, who control the money, believing they can because they 'earn' it.

So I want to take an opportunity to describe how things should be managed when one parent is staying at home to take care of children and the home because it seems too many men across the world are super confused about this, and women are accepting living circumstances that are demeaning and immoral, and its heartbreaking to read.

• Taking care of children and working in the home IS work. In a daycare setting, staff get paid to do this, maids get paid to do this when they go in to clean someone’s home. 
• The person who gets to build a career, is enabled to do this because the other partner has agreed to stay at home to provide care and stability for the couples children, and to do so unpaid. This is a huge sacrifice. Equally, the working partner has the burden and responsibility of earning the money needed to live. But their earning potential is supported by this unpaid childcare, domestic and emotional labour. They cannot have both a family and career without this labour. Therefore, they have a responsibility to provide for the partner who is working daily but unfortunately not being paid. 
• Both roles can be seen as a sacrifice or a privilege depending on your viewpoint. Personally I think two things can be true at once. But more often, the mother is seen as privileged' because she apparently ;doesn't have to work', or is a 'kept woman' - these are inaccurate patriarchal notions to keep women compliant. Its also a privilege to have the chance to build a career, experiencing the feelings of satisfaction and success that come with that but we don;t hearthat perspective so much.
• One person provides money so that rent and bills can be paid, one person provides care. Both roles deserve equal respect and value. Both people work hard every day to keep their family well and managing modern life.
• You are a family unit, and should work together towards a shared goal - a happy family life where everyone has what they need and is well - children need a roof over their head obviously, they also inevitably need ‘stuff’, they equally need the care and love and attention of a primary attachment caregiver - no one of these things is more important than the other.
• Finances, including all decisions about what gets spent, invested or saved, should be made together. 
• No person should be asking the other for money ever. This creates an inherent power imbalance and in practice typically assumes more value on the earning role than the caring role.
• Being at home with children is physically and mentally exhausting so when the working out of the home partner is ‘off’, they should provide rest time for the partner who typically works in the home caring for the children, be this time to unwind, exercise or just be alone. I can’t speak for every type of work but there are very few types of work which are more gruelling than caring for children at home. Likewise, the working partner deserves the same. There is enough time for both partners to get what they need and it’s in everyone’s best interest that they do.

 

If I’ve missed anything, please comment it below.

Everyone should feel safe, valued and respected in their home.

I am self employed graphic designer work in a rural area for lots of small businesses, I do this alongside staying at home with my kids so just work part time. Never really promoted my services I just get recommended from client to client. Normally do about €1k in work per month.

But this year has been exceptionally quiet. As it happened I wasn’t too annoyed as expecting and have HG so wasn’t fit for much but I’m starting to get concerned if actually this is the beginning of seeing AI influence my work. I noticed one client, a musician who always got me to do his posters, has been clearly getting an ai model to do them (I can tell). Has anyone else noticed a reduction in work? I feel like it’s those of us that work for smaller clients that will see this first.

Just wondering if anyone has experimented with when to take the Cariban to get most relief during the day?

I was prescribed one in morning, one middle of the day and then two at night before bed. This regimen gets me good relief in the mornings, I am presuming due to the 2x nightly tablets. But then I feel progressively worse as the day goes on. So now I’m wondering would it be best to take the 2x tabs in the morning?

My nausea is constant, sleep is my only respite!

I know it sounds counterintuitive but I have severe constant pregnancy nausea, taking 4 Cariban daily and it’s been a godsend. But when my stomach gets any way empty, the nausea gets worse! it makes no sense but I have to keep eating, especially carbs. I don’t vomit but am constantly nauseated. To make matters worse I’m on Prednisolone steroids which have increased my appetite hugely so I’m gaining so much weight and totally down about it. Anyone else in the same boat?

I see so many people in here having all hopes destroyed based on low AMH. AMH does not predict egg quality. Also so many people being led straight to IVF and when we are the worst candidates for that. I am after conceiving my third child, with an AMH of 0.07. Some doctors tell people with AMH this low to not even bother. I’ve had doctors put the panic of god into me about running out of time and you know it never bloody helped me only caused me more stress. I am lucky that my doctor never recommended IVF but TSI instead and this time it took 7 rounds with a full immune protocol for my Hashimotos. Your AMH is unlikely to be the sole reason your not conceiving, please look for other causes. I conceived my last child with AMH of 0.21 too. These are just numbers, please don’t let anyone count you out based on a blood test, especially based on poor response to IVF, especially if you still have age on your side. I know it’s only my experience but I feel like TSI is a great option for us. Wishing you all baby dust and hope x

EDIT TO ADD: Low AMH is eggs left in the tank, that’s it. Because AMH is unlikely to be why you are not conceiving, please ensure your doctors fully investigate you and your partner for the actual causes. For example, after our first 3 rounds failed last year I asked for a repeat semen analysis for my hubbie and sure enough his sperm count had plummeted and high DNA frag, he needed a variocele op last summer and within 3 months of that all parameters had improved hugely. For me, it was most likely low progesterone and/or immune issues.

I feel really bad about this. I am pregnant with our third, we’ve had a lot of fertility trouble and I really didn’t think it would happen this time, I feel incredibly lucky and I know this will be our last as it would be madness to put ourselves through any more treatment, it’s been gruelling and it’s so so unlikely to ever work again, this one is a miracle. I am going into early menopause most likely and have like no eggs left. Anyway, I have two boys already who are my world. What I feel so awful about is that I would really love if this one was a girl. This is my absolute last chance to have a daughter, and I know when we find out at 20 weeks if it’s not a girl I’ll be so sad. I will love this baby with all my heart and I know I’ll get over it eventually but I won’t be able to pretend I’m not disappointed because I’ll know then that I’ll never have a girl.

I’m just feeling bad because I waited so long for this pregnancy, I’m only 6 weeks and the nausea is setting in, I got it really bad in my last pregnancy and I am dreading the coming months. But counterintuitively, the only thing that brings me relief is eating! Eating crap! Anything processed, carbs, crisps, fast food, greasy, you name it! I couldn’t stomach a salad if you paid me. I feel bad for not being more healthy. I‘m not vomiting just constant nausea. I’m on steroids also as part of fertility treatment this 4 months and I’ve already gained weight and got moon face from them 🙈