u/punch4punch

I've got a 4 mo old and our plan was to take him to fireworks at a friend's, see how he handled it and head home around 9 if needed. Plans started to look like they were falling trough completely and then updated to we'd have maybe 30 min there before his normal bedtime. So after a spit up all over his outfit, I decided I was done! Staying home just me and him.

Somewhat regretting it, somewhat feel like it was the right decision for both of us, just not loving some of the criticism i've gotten for deciding not to push him (or me. Im beat.)

How are you doing it? Keeping your routines? Pushing through to watch fireworks?

I go back next weds and I'm sweating. My son is staying home with me (we arranged in home help) as I get back from mat leave and over the 4mo I've had to focus on him my dept has had two layoffs (hasn't happened in over 20 years!! 4 total this year!) And a giant "everyone return to office immediately" announcement that apparently doesn't have anything to do with my role??? But that was so unclear!! And i was freaking out!!! And i still hesitate to trust them at all!

Then on top of it, none of my friends work remote, (big commutes or self employed, all with family help, which i do not have) so me telling them how afraid I am makes it sound like I'm ungrateful and weak for complaing about my so called cushy wfh spreadsheet job.

Please tell me about how easy and wonderful your return was!!! I need positive stories!

My mother in law visted for a couple of days, I'm in my last week of mat leave (son is 4mo old)

My MIL drove me crazy. Kept taking my baby out of my arms while i was trying to do something with him (feed him, change him, put him to bed, whatever) and then going 'oh! He is hungry!'

Made a giant mess every step she took. Kept making me drive her places and messed up every feed and nap he took this week. He literally woke up every 2hrs for the first time in over a month last night bc he was so so deprived during the day.

Ugh. I know i should have been more assertive with her but she has a history of flying off the handle and i didnt want to rock the boat without my husband there.

Thank god she left early!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE tell me this gets easier with more babies. She only had one baby and she has all these crazy ideas about "all kids" based on her one expirience with raising my husband

I need to understand the male mind better! I am mulling over two major concepts.

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Firstly, what does it look like when a man is considering his wife throughout the day? I understand that love languages play into this quite a bit, but on an average, boring day, what does it look like for you? I'm struggling to see how my husband loves and cares for me day-to-day but its always easier to know myself so I'm trying to see others' examples and find more grace for him.

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Secondly, what role does male friendship play in your overall quality of life? How do you feel they need to be balanced in your life? My husband and I were both very lonely kids but I dont feel a desire for friends anymore, just to make a big family with him and spend as much time together as possible. My husband is truly my best friend. He has made new friends in the last year and I like his friends, but he wants to spend 70% or more of his non working time with them. He also works with them. So I don't get as much of him as I want, and since we have one car, the baby and I don't leave the house except to get groceries once a week. We did have a friend commit suicide and this was semi attributed to his wife isolating him, so I do understand the importance of male friendship. I worry I am being selfish with wanting him to myself but the frame of reference is difficult to grasp when I feel so isolated myself.

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Thank you for your insight!

I've called my ped but the nurses arent being super helpful so far & waiting for a call back.

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My son is ebf and 3.5 months. He's got plenty of wet diapers, isnt fussy, no discomfort or hardness in belly but also hasn't pooped in 7 days. We've given him pear juice (worked for his last poop but not since) and he REALLY doesn't like it so we stopped juice for a few days and now he's taking prune juice and likes it, but still not pooping. He's had 1-2oz per day.

When he has pooped, its been runny and a little darker than normal but not much darker. I assumed that was just due to the juice. Also not a big poop either, medium-small.

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I've heard up to 10 days can be normal between poops at this age but he used to be a daily pooper! Idk is this normal? When do i really start worrying if his behavior doesn't change?

Never thought I'd WANT poopy diapers this much hahahaa

Im about to return to work from mat leave with my first baby. My husband and i both want a big family - we set our minimum at 3 kids. So I'd love to know from those doing it - how did things go from one to two, two to three, etc?

A lot of the feedback I've gotten from parents of 3+ generally (not relating to work) is that 2 kids is the hardest and after the third, it gets easier to manage(or cope with?) fighting/resource issues etc. Does the same seem to apply wfh?

Bonus points if you've successfully homeschooled or taken in nanny work as well and can comment on those particular challenges!

I've bought used cars for the last 15 years. I've also had A LOT of cars over the 15 years. 2 accidents, the rest were repairs greatly exceeding the value to replace the car. I've had hondas, toyotas, fords, subarus, a pontiac and two mercedes. I always get prepurchase inspections. I dont drive much anymore. I've gotten cars with lowish miles and high miles.

After my last car had metal filings in the engine after 10k of work and less than 10k miles since I bought it, I'm starting to loose motivation to deal with used cars anymore. People largely do not sell cars they take good care of. I did the math and my husbands f150 that he bought new in 2018 has penny for mile driven been cheaper than any used car I've ever bought.

Please convince me out of buying a new car. Im at my breaking point between the cost of used and all the inevitable issues. I just want a honda odyssey, but one with 100k is only $15k less than brand new right now.

Struggling to get my guy down at anytime OTHER than 845/9 every night. And it takes 45 min+ sometimes! He's 12wks old, I basically just try to time his wake window to end before the bedtime I want him to have (730/800) and about 10 minutes before I know he'll be tired, I go put him in a fresh diaper and jammies, keep him in the dark room, get some white noise booted up and lie down next to him so he can see me in the bassinet. I give him a pacifier and proceed to spend the next hour or so watching him fall asleep and wake up over and over, just giving him the pacifier when he wants it. He gets much more worked up when i walk away. He does not like being soothed in ANY other way - he doesnt want to get drowsy on me, doesnt want to feed to sleep, doesnt want to be pat, rocked, or anything. He wants to lie there and make me watch him. Would really love to put him to bed and have an evening with my husband. Side note: from around 900/930 he will sleep until 4am, and immediately go back to sleep after he eats and sleep until 8, with some fussing from 6/7am till 8.

I've been doing some spring cleaning and I found three large 100% wool sweaters I never wear. I was thinking of just donating them but then got to thinking about how I've been wanting to get some wool inserts for overnight diapering. I threw those sweaters in the washer on hot with my normal laundry loads until they were completely felted, air dried them and then cut them open at the seams and was able to get about 20 inserts from the body and sleeves of three sweaters! I probably could have gotten more from the sweaters but one of them was a cropped style with embroidery on the front, so a good portion of it wasn't usable for this. Bonus: I don't have to handwash these! I can wash them in the washer everytime and they shouldnt shrink much more if at all. I think I will air dry them though since felt tends to get stubbornly warped in the dryer.

So here's a reccomendation to grab some 100% wool sweaters next time you're at the thrift store! It was such a quick project and I got a bunch of different thicknesses out of the sweaters that im looking forward to trying out!

I'm sure most ebf moms have had this struggle - my screentime went WAY up when I started bf. But now that my baby is sleeping through the night (basically) I dont feel like i need to scroll at night to stay awake, ive already slept enough to just stay awake until he's done. Then after seeing kids of a friend of mine go through YouTube, and watching my 2month old get his attention caught, i decided to cut my own screen time out as completely as possible. In one day of this, i've noticed a massive change to not only our breastfeeding experience but my overall experience of motherhood. I need to know if this was just a me thing or if anyone else has experienced this??

I really didn't have crazy screen time before either, don't watch tv except with my husband in the evenings and had maybe 4-5 hours a day on my phone, between texting/calling, music, and scrolling. But now i've completely cut out scrolling, and I'm getting the NOTICIBLE oxytocin from breastfeeding again, the ppd/ppa that has been bubbling in the background completely disappeared and i cant stop telling my husband how much i love him. Its like a switch completely flipped. Has anyone else had this experience from this one change or am i delusional?