u/r4nson1c

I keep going back and forth on whether I’m justified in being hurt by this situation with my ex or whether I was expecting too much. (Been together for 4 months , and we’re both 22y/o) For context, my best friend had come to Orlando to spend the weekend with me. We had plans to go to Tampa, go out, drink, and just have fun.Before any of that could happen, my mom called me and told me I needed to come to Miami to say goodbye to my grandmother because her health was rapidly declining. I dropped everything and drove to Miami that same day.Saying goodbye to my grandma was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Afterward, my friend and I drove back to Orlando that same night.When we got back, I had one drink and texted my boyfriend. I told him I had just gotten back from Miami, that I was having a really hard time emotionally, and that I wanted to call him. I wasn’t calling to argue or anything. I just wanted comfort and support from the person I was dating. Instead, he basically told me that maybe we could talk when I hadn’t been drinking. He later explained it as a boundary he had. The thing is, this had never been communicated to me before. We had spent plenty of time together drinking wine, going out, and having drinks socially, so this came completely out of nowhere for me. His response crushed me. I started crying and stopped talking to him because I felt like all I wanted was support during one of the worst moments of my life and he wasn’t willing to give it. The next day, my friend and I went to Tampa as originally planned. We ended up at a club, but honestly I wasn’t having fun at all. I was drunk, depressed, sitting down most of the night, and crying. My friend was trying to comfort me. While I was there, my boyfriend and I were texting and arguing about the situation. Instead of acknowledging why I was hurt, he kept repeating that it was his boundary not to call me because I’d been drinking the night before. At one point I told him, “If this were one of your family members and they passed away, I would drop everything and call you immediately.” His response wasn’t really to address what I was saying. Instead, because he’s very religious, he focused on the fact that I didn’t say “God forbid” before mentioning one of his family members passing away. The argument continued, and eventually we stopped talking. The next morning, after I’d calmed down, I called him because I wanted to work things out and have a conversation. He told me he didn’t want to talk. Later that day, I found out that my grandmother had passed away the night before while I was in Tampa. I texted him and told him my grandma had died. His response was: “I’m so sorry to hear that.” That was it. No phone call. No checking on me. Nothing. For the next few days, I kept trying to communicate because I was grieving my grandmother and I didn’t want my relationship falling apart at the same time. Eventually I suggested taking a break because I felt completely abandoned emotionally. He never responded. Months later we spoke again, and instead of understanding why I was hurt, he said I was trying to make him look like a bad person for having boundaries. He maintained that he had done nothing wrong. I understand that people are allowed to have boundaries. What I struggle with is that this wasn’t a random bad day or a minor disagreement. I was saying goodbye to my grandmother, then she died, and the person I loved never once picked up the phone to call me. Am I wrong for feeling like a partner should show up differently during a family death, even if they have personal boundaries around talking to someone who’s been drinking? Or was I expecting too much?

Edit Update- Thank you everyone for your condolences 🫶🏾, I WILL NOT BE GOING BACK!! Fuck him lol

Someone pls help me

Female dashes pls tell me your experiences bc mine is a MESS

THE FUCK?????? DD has lost their everlasting fucking mind

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When you hide QF in your underpants/bra do you keep the heat pad on??

In need of a meal lol

My ex refused to call me when i said goodbye to my dying grandmother because i had one drink. AIO?

Delivery driver stole food and Uber wouldn’t give refund until i threaten to sue