u/raNdoMBLilriv

Sometimes even I get sick of seeing the negativity and pessimism, of the "The fandom used to be better back in ____!" posts. So I figured I'd ask: what are some ways you feel the fandom has actually improved over time?

I have a small list of things that have. Many of them just follow things that have improved in society in general.

1. Acceptance of neurodiversity. Yeah this wasn't always a thing. If there ever ends up being archives of the old FurAffinity forums that pop up, I can show you all the anti-autistic threads they had on there circa 2012. It was pretty bad. The users on that forum (outside of the art/commission sections) were often as bad as how KF is now (iykyk). And while there's still a ways to go, it's so much better now.

2. Protection of minors. I'm sure a bunch of us in the fandom for a decade or more have stories of adults being creeps to teens. Seeing the video last year of a fur at FWA getting maced after creeping on teens is definitely a step up from how things were years ago. Adults in the fandom seem to really go out of their way to keep minors away from NSFW content.

3. Acceptance of being sober/drugless. I was bullied a lot around the early 2010s for being completely sober and not smoking weed or whatever. I haven't had that happen in a long time. Of course furs will judge me for it, and probably insult me in their heads, but they ain't bullying me out loud. And nowadays there's even an entire Sober Furs panel (and Telegram chat) at both AC and FWA.

4. Partial suits (and other types) seen as valid. For a while in the 2000s and early 2010s the fandom skewed very "fullsuit or nothing". And not nearly as many people had a suit, likely for that reason. Other than the AC fiasco (which they had to do sadly cuz there was just too many people otherwise), now I see all different types of suits, masks, etc. people make and I love the creativity and that not every suit has to look the same.

5. Discourse around s.a. Sadly it does happen and especially did at cons and such and people tried to excuse it or sweep it under the rug, but now I don't notice that as much, now if it happens, someone usually says something right away.

6. More acceptance by non-furs. I personally see it as a win when my friends can go out fursuiting and not get shit for it. Definitely smiled when I heard a person excitedly say to my friends "Oh furries! I saw you guys in TikTok!" lmao.

That's all I got for now. Feel free to add to the list. Try and keep things positive lol I know it's difficult but try.

So I've been paying my bills off savings for nearly a year now. I live with my mom but she can't afford everything herself. I'm about to be bankrupt in a few months, which will have dire consequences on us. For example, my mom doesn't drive and has no car, I need to pay for car insurance for my car. We live in an area with no public transit. Have no nearby family or friends who can bring us anywhere if need be. Taxis are very few and unreliable, rarely show up even if called ahead of time.

I know that trying to work again will jeopardize the application process and show them I'm "capable of working"; the disability lawyer flat out told me this. (Not to mention I tend not to last long at jobs or be capable of working them which is why I'm doing all this to begin with.) And that this usually includes things like delivering for Grubhub or Uber etc. which are unreliable at best to begin with. So I'm scared to do much of anything.

That said, I'll need like $150 per month once my savings runs out. I can sell a few things but I don't have much to sell. And I have no idea how long it will take for me to get approved if it ever happens (here's to praying it does).

Is there any way to earn money that won't count as "work" and count against me in this application/decision process? I really can't afford to jeopardize this and have to start over. I think he mentioned that it looks bad unless if I worked at all in the past year and I'm almost at the 1 year mark since I lost my last job, in like a month I'll be at that. But I know after that point it could still take a long time before even getting to a ALJ hearing.

A few days ago, I posted a reply to a post on here. The post asked what we'd do if we could travel back in time and talk to our 10 year old self.

I posted a somewhat depressing but sarcastic/half-joking reply that I would tell my childhood self to stop being... not gonna type out what I said exactly because...

My comment immediately got deleted- like a few seconds after, and I got notified that this site put me on a "three day's grace". So that's why y'all didn't see me the past few days maybe lol.

But yeah, back on now. Just be careful what you post- don't comment anything that directs "harm", even at yourself in a hypothetical way.

And to the people posting threads that ask questions like that... I realize it was my fault for my reply, but just be careful what you post and ask.

I love NEETing but I notice it ruins my immune system, which used to be so good I basically never got sick. When I worked full time, I dealt with hundreds of customers a day, and I guess that pathogen exposure helped me a lot.

Now that I almost never go outside, when I go have to go out (usually to drive my elderly mom somewhere), I end up getting sick the next day, usually with a stomach virus of some sort. Also being over 30 and my body weakening doesn't help either. And the fact that I bring my mom to doctor appointments, and there's likely sick patients in the waiting room.

Anyone else notice this if you previously weren't a NEET?

(Was gonna make this a poll, seems they don't work on PC, and I don't feel like using my phone.)

Since most of us don't interact with the outside world at all, do you feel the need to pay attention to current news?

Ever since I was a teen, I'd spend hours a day clicking on random news articles and reading them, about any subjects- world politics, celebrity gossip, food blogs, whatever. This went on into my 20s in adulthood, both while I worked and while I NEETed.

Eventually, I lost interest in the human world entirely, and reading these news articles felt like a total chore. I unsubscribed to all news website emails, and now if someone links to an article, I just quickly skim it if I even click on it.

I have an online friend who keeps me up to date with any major events, but outside of that, I don't pay attention and no longer care. Being up-to-date on news never really helped my social life or made me seem more normal, so it was kinda pointless. I guess I enjoyed it at the time though.

Just making this to vent some common misconceptions that normies have about NEETs- feel free to add your own.

"You guys are all super privileged/spoiled from rich parents who pamper you!"

Reality: Almost none of us come from wealthy families, our families barely have enough money to support us and often ask us for rent or utilities if we do get NEETbux. In fact, plenty of celeb kids are NEETs from rich families, but nobody gets on their case about it. You only get on our case because we're not privileged enough to escape it- if our families bought us our own house and never-emptying bank account, we wouldn't visibly be NEETs and wouldn't be targeted. Also, not all NEETs live with family- some get NEETpartments.

"You're all useless losers who never worked a day in your lives!"

Reality: Many of us have previously worked. I have 10 years of miserable work experience- that whole time I was treated like useless garbage while earning pennies. So don't even pretend you'll automatically respect me for getting a job, because it's been proven that you damn well won't.

"Getting a job will solve all your issues!"

Reality: None of my jobs ever paid enough for me to even split a small apartment with somebody. And these jobs added so many new mental issues for me it was insane.

"Getting a job is so easy!"

Reality: Idk what to even say to this one. I don't hear it anymore but I know some people secretly think it. But yeah nah, the few available jobs are the same lowest-wage abusive ones I mentioned that I had to put up with, if even those.

"You all have no friends and your families hate you."

Reality: I have relatives that practically beg me to come visit them. They know I'm a NEET. I admittedly never had many friends, but this has been my life since I was in school and when I worked. I do have friends that enjoy being around me, they live far away but I can see them a couple times a year.

"You're useless for society."

Reality: "Useless" is an opinion word. Most working people are "useless" too in that the moment they die, someone will replace them in 5 milliseconds. And if you mean "useless" in that nobody loves us, I answered that in my previous question.

"You'll never get laid."

Reality: For one, asexual NEETs exist. Sex isn't a goal for everyone. And two, as I said, many of us were not always NEETs, and do have social experiences. And even as a NEET, I've had partners. Hell, I've also dated NEETs as well. Our relationships may not look so stereotypical, but whose truly does?

"All you do is play video games all day."

Reality: Those of us without income can have difficulty doing many hobbies which are cost prohibitive, but you'd be surprised how many interests some NEETs truly do have. As mentioned, some do have friends they hang out with. Some love to go outside. It's different for everyone.

"NEETs all have messy bedrooms and terrible hygiene."

Reality: Huge nope and this is just bait at that point. Maybe the most extreme recluses do, if they know nobody will ever see them IRL. I love a nice, neat, organized room. I have sensory issues so clutter and mess doesn't sit well with me. Also love the pleasant scent of some body washes plus how it makes my skin feel.

"NEETs have no social skills."

Reality: You'd be surprised how many NEETs you may interact with at any given time and you can't tell they are. I know I'm a very social person and love talking to people.

"NEETs try to drag everyone down with them."

Reality: Some are bitter and may seem to do this, but many of us want others to succeed at their goals in life. We know the world needs all different types of people, even if we hate to admit it.

"NEETs never tried to succeed in life."

Reality: Already pretty much answered this with a few other questions, but obviously untrue. Many of us become NEETs because the system sucks so much, it felt stacked against us. I worked 10 years, failed out of college, fell for a trade school scam that led nowhere. We did try. It's just such a faulty system, it only works if many of us fail.

"NEETs eat junk food slop all day."

Reality: Some of us enjoy actually cooking things. I know I do, sadly my abusive mom doesn't let me use the kitchen otherwise I want to cook healthier for myself (the irony is she forces unhealthy slop onto me but that's another topic). When I lived with other family, I was allowed more freedom and would try to cook actual decent meals sometimes when I could. Also, due to my autism, my meals are specifically planned out in my head, so I'm not munching random stuff all day.

"I'm autistic and I'm successful! That's no excuse!"

Reality: This one sort of veers off-topic, but there is a huge crossover with autism and NEETdom. I'll repeat this again like I always do: Autism is an entire fucking spectrum. Everyone on it is different. No two of us will present the same. So just because you got the genius Chad type, doesn't mean the rest of us did and that we're "lazy".

"NEETs are all wyte mailz!"

Reality: You'd be surprised at the sheer diversity among us.

"NEETs are inherently evil leeches and deserve nothing good in this world."

Reality: Nothing I can truly say to convince you otherwise, I suppose. As I've already said though, many of us did our best to "participate in society", and society failed us. Many of us were done wrong and never given the tools we needed to "succeed". I did what I could for people, heck, I still do at times. But if everyone is always gonna act like I'm evil and untouchable, it gets discouraging.

"I would never befriend or even talk to a NEET! Gross!"

Reality: This one used to piss me off the most. Until recently. I'm over it now. Nobody has to like anyone, I guess. I deserve better; we all do. Go hang out with your similar rich successful Chad friends, and keep making faulty assumptions about us.

Long story short, I'm having money issues, and have a whole bunch of games and stuff I haven't touched and will likely never play again. I want to know the best game store to sell them at, that is more likely to pay me the most for them. I'm a bit north of MB but willing to go all the way down to Murrells or even further if the price is right.