u/raj6322

I had an online relationship with a girl I met on Dating App. We talked for around 4–5 months but never met in person. She lived around 700 km away.

Things ended because of a caste difference. I'm from a lower caste and she's from an upper caste. She rejected the relationship because of it. I was extremely attached and it hurt me badly.

After that, we barely had contact for years. Then in March 2026, after almost 5 years, she suddenly started contacting me again, mostly on weekends.

She is currently in a relationship that has apparently lasted around 4 years. I don't know what happened in that relationship, but the timing made me wonder if something went wrong and she came back to me for attention or emotional support.

She wanted to keep me in her life as a friend, but she still didn't want to meet me offline and avoided giving clear answers to some serious questions I asked. That made me feel like I was being kept around as an option or backup.

I eventually declined the friendship because I don't want to stay emotionally attached to someone who doesn't actually choose me.

Now I'm honestly conflicted. A part of me wants to completely cut her off. Another part of me wants revenge — let her back in, treat her the way she treated me, and make her feel what I felt. She hurt me badly and made me cry at one point.

I know revenge probably isn't the healthiest option, but after everything that happened, I genuinely feel that way sometimes.

What would you do in my situation — completely cut her off, or keep the door open and see what she actually wants?

I had an online relationship with a girl I met on Dating App. We talked for around 4–5 months but never met in person. She lived around 700 km away.

Things ended because of a caste difference. I'm from a lower caste and she's from an upper caste. She rejected the relationship because of it. I was extremely attached and it hurt me badly.

After that, we barely had contact for years. Then in March 2026, after almost 5 years, she suddenly started contacting me again, mostly on weekends.

She is currently in a relationship that has apparently lasted around 4 years. I don't know what happened in that relationship, but the timing made me wonder if something went wrong and she came back to me for attention or emotional support.

She wanted to keep me in her life as a friend, but she still didn't want to meet me offline and avoided giving clear answers to some serious questions I asked. That made me feel like I was being kept around as an option or backup.

I eventually declined the friendship because I don't want to stay emotionally attached to someone who doesn't actually choose me.

Now I'm honestly conflicted. A part of me wants to completely cut her off. Another part of me wants revenge — let her back in, treat her the way she treated me, and make her feel what I felt. She hurt me badly and made me cry at one point.

I know revenge probably isn't the healthiest option, but after everything that happened, I genuinely feel that way sometimes.

What would you do in my situation — completely cut her off, or keep the door open and see what she actually wants?

​

I had an online relationship with a girl I met on Dating App. We talked for around 4–5 months but never met in person. She lived around 700 km away.

Things ended because of a caste difference. I'm from a lower caste and she's from an upper caste. She rejected the relationship because of it. I was extremely attached and it hurt me badly.

After that, we barely had contact for years. Then in March 2026, after almost 5 years, she suddenly started contacting me again, mostly on weekends.

She is currently in a relationship that has apparently lasted around 4 years. I don't know what happened in that relationship, but the timing made me wonder if something went wrong and she came back to me for attention or emotional support.

She wanted to keep me in her life as a friend, but she still didn't want to meet me offline and avoided giving clear answers to some serious questions I asked. That made me feel like I was being kept around as an option or backup.

I eventually declined the friendship because I don't want to stay emotionally attached to someone who doesn't actually choose me.

Now I'm honestly conflicted. A part of me wants to completely cut her off. Another part of me wants revenge — let her back in, treat her the way she treated me, and make her feel what I felt. She hurt me badly and made me cry at one point.

I know revenge probably isn't the healthiest option, but after everything that happened, I genuinely feel that way sometimes.

What would you do in my situation — completely cut her off, or keep the door open and see what she actually wants?

​

I had an online relationship with a girl a few years ago. We met through Dating App and talked for around 4–5 months. She lived around 700 km away from me. We never met in person, and we never even had a video call.

I was genuinely attached to her. Eventually, the topic of caste came up. I am from a lower caste and she is from an upper caste. She decided that because of the caste difference, a future together wouldn't work and ended the relationship.

I was extremely emotional at the time. I begged her and cried, but eventually I stopped contacting her.

After that, there was very little contact for years — occasional birthday wishes, calls after changing numbers, etc.

Then in March 2026, after years of almost no contact, she suddenly started contacting me again, mostly on weekends. During these conversations, I found out that she had been in a relationship with another guy for around four years.

What hurt me was the way she talked about him and his caste compared to mine. Caste had supposedly been the reason she rejected me, yet now she was talking to me again while being in a long-term relationship.

I started wondering why she suddenly came back after so many years.

One possibility I keep thinking about is that something may have happened in her four-year relationship and she started looking for attention, emotional support, or validation from someone familiar — me.

I don't know if that's actually true. She never directly told me that anything went wrong in her relationship. It's just the timing and her behavior that made me suspicious.

Another thing that bothered me was that she wanted to keep me in her life as a friend, but she never gave me clear answers to some of my serious questions. She also never seemed interested in actually meeting me offline.

Eventually I started feeling like I was being kept around as an option — someone she could talk to when she wanted attention, without actually choosing me.

I declined the friendship because I don't want to stay emotionally attached to someone who doesn't want a real relationship with me.

Now I'm conflicted.

Part of me wants to completely walk away because I feel like she already made her choice years ago.

Another part of me honestly wants revenge. I sometimes think that since she treated me like an option, I should let her come back, give her attention, and then treat her the same way.

But I'm also wondering whether that's just going to keep me emotionally attached to her.

So I'm asking people who have been in similar situations:

Should I completely walk away and close the door, or should I keep the door open and see what she actually wants?

And if she really came back because something went wrong in her four-year relationship, is there any point in giving her another chance — or would I just become her temporary source of attention and validation?

I want an honest answer, even if I'm the one in the wrong here.