Does anyone have a link to the surrendered wife discord? I used to be a part of it, but I was removed due to inactivity but I'm giving the skills a shot again and I would like to have people to talk to about the skills.
How long did it take you to give up control? I'm feeling very hopeless because I can't give up control for certain things. I find it's extremely difficult to give up control and stay off my husband's paper about our kids. If he does something that i think might be dangerous, like put our one year old son to sleep in the bedroom on a hot day with a sleep sack with AC off (the heat doesn't bother my husband, he can go out in the summer in warm clothes and be totally fine so he thinks our baby will be fine too), or he'll let our one year old son sleep with a phone charger within reach of his crib, or give the kids just a rice cake and an apple for lunch (I'm worried they will get really skinny if he only feeds them like that), or something else that I deem unsafe but he thinks is perfectly fine.
I don't understand where to draw the line. It causes tension between us often when I bring stuff up or if I try to help and turn the AC on before they go in there for my sons nap, he might feel like I'm treating him like he's incompetent, but I thought maybe that'd be better than mentioning it to him.
I also get sad when he's upset with me and I'm not sure if that's staying off his paper. I'm very busy with my kids and can't find many things that make me happy enough to not care if our relationship isn't going well. He told me he wanted a separation a few months ago out of nowhere and I get very sad and anxious if anything goes wrong.
I feel like the skills aren't going to work for me no matter how hard I try so I'm feeling a bit hopeless, rather than the empowered feeling I was feeling at first, before I realized that the skills are harder to put into practice than I thought. So I'm just trying to find out if anyone else was slow to get used to the skills as well and also any advice on the specific situations would be extremely helpful.
Does anybody have trouble with following their husbands lead with their kids? I find it's soo difficult to follow my husband's lead with the kids since I'm biologically wired to be concerned about their well being. I find I'm often trying to ask him to do things differently with the kids multiple times a day. Like you know how dads like to play rougher with their kids than moms do, it's very hard for me to accept that they're safe (ie wrestling with a toddler and they occasionally get hurt, but they're having fun the whole time until they get hurt). Or he is fine with the kids having food that's sat out for over two hours, which is when the food would be considered spoiled, but I ask him not to feed it to them. Or he is more stern in a moment when I think they need comfort but instead he gets more stern with them.
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Idk how to get over stuff like that and follow his lead. He cares a lot about our kids and is an amazing dad, but his way of parenting is vastly different than mine and more carefree in ways but also more stern in other ways so it's difficult to accept.
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Ps I would really appreciate if I don't get any comments judging him or telling me to leave him because I've only explained my three biggest concerns about him, I haven't shared any of the many good qualities about him, so you can't really make a proper assessment of him.
Does anybody have trouble with following their husbands lead with their kids? I find it's soo difficult to follow my husband's lead with the kids since I'm biologically wired to be concerned about their well being. I find I'm often trying to ask him to do things differently with the kids multiple times a day. Like you know how dads like to play rougher with their kids than moms do, it's very hard for me to accept that they're safe (ie wrestling with a toddler and they occasionally get hurt, but they're having fun the whole time until they get hurt). Or he is fine with the kids having food that's sat out for over two hours, which is when the food would be considered spoiled, but I ask him not to feed it to them. Or he is more stern in a moment when I think they need comfort but instead he gets more stern with them.
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Idk how to get over stuff like that and follow his lead. He cares a lot about our kids and is an amazing dad, but his way of parenting is vastly different than mine and more carefree in ways but also more stern in other ways so it's difficult to accept.
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Ps I would really appreciate if I don't get any comments judging him or telling me to leave him because I've only explained my three biggest concerns about him, I haven't shared any of the many good qualities about him, so you can't really make a proper assessment of him.
My question is only for people who wear head coverings.
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If you wear head coverings when you pray, do you wear them when you pray at home too? We're supposed to pray without ceasing, so does anyone just wear them 24/7? It seems kind of difficult to go find a head covering any time I want to pray if I pray a lot throughout the day. I'd get too hot wearing them at home all the time, I only wear them when praying out of the house, but I'm confused if I'm supposed to be wearing them when I'm praying at home too, even if I'm by myself or just with my toddlers or my husband.
If you wear head coverings when you pray, do you wear them when you pray at home too? We're supposed to pray without ceasing, so does anyone just wear them 24/7? It seems kind of difficult to go find a head covering any time I want to pray if I pray a lot throughout the day. I'd get too hot wearing them at home all the time, I only wear them when praying out of the house, but I'm confused if I'm supposed to be wearing them when I'm praying at home too, even if I'm by myself or just with my toddlers or my husband.
Edited to add: my question is only for people who wear head coverings.
If you wear head coverings when you pray, do you wear them when you pray at home too? We're supposed to pray without ceasing, so does anyone just wear them 24/7? It seems kind of difficult to go find a head covering any time I want to pray if I pray a lot throughout the day. I'd get too hot wearing them at home all the time, I only wear them when praying out of the house, but I'm confused if I'm supposed to be wearing them when I'm praying at home too, even if I'm by myself or just with my toddlers or my husband.
Edited to add: my question is only for people who wear head coverings.
Has anyone else ever felt the Hoty Spirit as a small thud in their chest? Last night I was feeling very angry and I was praying to be able to respond to my husband with the fruits of the spirit despite my anger. Right as I said that I felt a little thud right in the middle of my chest, not where my heart is, in the dead center, it felt like a heartbeat but in the middle, but it reminded me of the feeling of a light switch being switched. At the exact same time that happened any anger that I had completely disappeared. I wasn't expecting to feel an immediate change or anything like that when I was praying.
So I'm wondering, was that thud the Holy Spirit? Has anyone else felt a small thud like a heartbeat in the center of their chest before during a moment like that where they're praying? I've never felt the Holy Spirit before as far as I know so I'm trying to figure out if that's what that was.
Are there any Christian women on here who would want to talk/be friends and try to encourage eachother in our submission to our husbands or talk about difficulties with it? I have difficulty with staying on track with actually submitting to my husband because I can't get out of the midset of wanting to do my own thing and not what he wants. Submission is very important to me yet I can't seem to always get myself to do it, for some reason I'm stuck thinking that my ways are better than my husband's ways
I'm feeling a bit alone in this. So having somebody to talk to about it and encourage each other would be great 😊🙏
I'm not sure if this is the right place for this question, but I'm looking for advice on how to want to submit to my husband more. We are both Christians and believe that a husband is supposed to be the head over the house. I actually believe that women are supposed to submit to basically everything, but he doesn't believe they are supposed to submit to as much as I do. Yet despite that belief I find it difficult actually submitting to him during times of stress or if I don't agree with what he's wanting me to do. Usually its not anything serious, like parenting differences, he wants to move apartments but I don't, things like that. He doesn't try to force me to do anything and isn't some sort of tyrant. Yet I have difficulty actually wanting to go along with things that I don't agree with. I assume it's because of growing up around a lot of feminism culture that it's hardwired into my brain to not want to do these things, but I don't understand how to un-hardwire my brain 😆 Any advice would be appreciated 🙏
I'm not sure if this is the right place for this question, but I'm looking for advice on how to want to submit to my husband more. We are both Christians and believe that a husband is supposed to be the head over the house. I actually believe that women are supposed to submit to basically everything, but he doesn't believe they are supposed to submit to as much as I do. Yet despite that belief I find it difficult actually submitting to him during times of stress or if I don't agree with what he's wanting me to do. Usually its not anything serious, like parenting differences, he wants to move apartments but I don't, things like that. He doesn't try to force me to do anything and isn't some sort of tyrant. Yet I have difficulty actually wanting to go along with things that I don't agree with. I assume it's because of growing up around a lot of feminism culture that it's hardwired into my brain to not want to do these things, but I don't understand how to un-hardwire my brain 😆 Any advice would be appreciated 🙏