u/rattenkatze666

Im a highschooler and ive been struggling since middle school. I stopped my sh around last year but the thoughts have been coming back. I finally got to a place where I was happy and everything was going great for me. I have an amazing partner who loves me, im doing good in school. But I feel so lonely. Everything feels useless. This year I switched to online school because I couldnt handle the school environment, and all my close friends had different classes or switched schools. Even though it’s better than regular school, im still struggling. Im forgetting how to communicate with people and i feel so disconnected with my friends. Even hanging out with them feels so off. Nothing feels real to me. This isnt new, but i truly thought I was past that. Everything is just catching up. Im realizing I have nothing in common with my friends, everytime I speak I feel like an alien. I cant talk about the things I think about without feeling crazy. Everywhere I go feels like im in a dream. I go days without having a meaningful conversation with anyone. I cant even talk to my partner about how I feel because Im afraid of worrying them and I don’t want to burden them with my struggles. I’ve considered trying weed or something. I have nobody to share my thoughts and feelings with and I just want my mind to be quiet.

Im not diagnosed so I dont know if I have derealization for sure. I just dont know where else to go for help. For the past 3 years or so, Ive have multiple existential crises. I feel so distant from everyone. I feel like my mind is on an entirely different mindset than everyone around me. Everytime I hang out with someone I feel this pressure in my chest and nothing feels right. i feel like everything I say is scripted and I cant speak off the script. Even with my partner I feel this way. He used to be the one person who made me feel different. I thought all the feelings were gone when I was with him but theyre back. Ive tried going outside to connect with nature but even that doesnt feel right. Everything and everyone feels so fake. Nothing matters to me anymore. Im forgetting things all the time now. I cant pay attention to things. Even driving had become troublesome because I cant keep myself from zoning out. I really need help. I dont know what to do. I cant afford therapy or anything. Talking to people just makes me sound crazy.

Im a highschooler and ive been struggling since middle school. I stopped my sh around last year but the thoughts have been coming back. I finally got to a place where I was happy and everything was going great for me. I have an amazing partner who loves me, im doing good in school. But I feel so lonely. Everything feels useless. This year I switched to online school because I couldnt handle the school environment, and all my close friends had different classes or switched schools. Even though it’s better than regular school, im still struggling. Im forgetting how to communicate with people and i feel so disconnected with my friends. Even hanging out with them feels so off. Nothing feels real to me. This isnt new, but i truly thought I was past that. Everything is just catching up. Im realizing I have nothing in common with my friends, everytime I speak I feel like an alien. I cant talk about the things I think about without feeling crazy. Everywhere I go feels like im in a dream. I go days without having a meaningful conversation with anyone. I cant even talk to my partner about how I feel because Im afraid of worrying them and I don’t want to burden them with my struggles. I’ve considered trying weed or something. I have nobody to share my thoughts and feelings with and I just want my mind to be quiet.

Im a highschooler and ive been struggling since middle school. I stopped my sh around last year but the thoughts have been coming back. I finally got to a place where I was happy and everything was going great for me. I have an amazing partner who loves me, im doing good in school. But I feel so lonely. Everything feels useless. This year I switched to online school because I couldnt handle the school environment, and all my close friends had different classes or switched schools. Even though it’s better than regular school, im still struggling. Im forgetting how to communicate with people and i feel so disconnected with my friends. Even hanging out with them feels so off. Nothing feels real to me. This isnt new, but i truly thought I was past that. Everything is just catching up. Im realizing I have nothing in common with my friends, everytime I speak I feel like an alien. I cant talk about the things I think about without feeling crazy. Everywhere I go feels like im in a dream. I go days without having a meaningful conversation with anyone. I cant even talk to my partner about how I feel because Im afraid of worrying them and I don’t want to burden them with my struggles. I’ve considered trying weed or something. I have nobody to share my thoughts and feelings with and I just want my mind to be quiet.