I'm having a hard time keeping my head in the game, politically.
Hey y'all,
I work for a small non-profit that works primarily with the homeless. We have a clinic, a daytime shelter, and a housing/case management wing. I do case management for the housing -first program we run and, lately, I've been having a hard time justifying the work that I do to myself.
After some really extreme staffing issues (firing good employees for minor technicalities while simply slapping employees guilty of MASSIVE ethical and HIPAA violations [one involving a literally SA allegation wherein the employee was found lying throughout the entire investigation] on the wrist and keeping them on board), I've had a lot of discussions with my teammates about the nature of the work we do and... it's like the more I talk about the work, the less good I see myself doing. My coworkers have brought up the fact that the only reason our company has the job stability it does is because our case management is so poor that our clients stay dependent on us decade after decade.
For instance, we don't expect to keep our contract very long due to state funding, recent conservative swings legislatively, and our program having a terrible reputation w/ the county. That said, running a housing-first program, I can't help but think about how 90% of the clients I manage will be worse off once we lose funding than they were when we onboarded them. Many of our clients (from before I joined the company) have racked up tens of thousands of dollars in debts to landlords and courts for evictions they only sustained because we were paying 100% of their rent without being able to get them the other help they needed. These clients are have worse lives and guaranteed worse case outcomes because of the work we did for them considering the massive debt, ruined credit, and ruined rental history. Many of the clients who get evicted from apartments we put them in simply become unhousable afterwards. Now, my job is simply to play damage control and try to ensure they're fed and look for other programs to refer them out to because we failed. And, looking ahead, we really only anticipate about 10% of our case load to be "successful" by the terms of our program.
I've also watched so many of my cases simply become placated by the financial assistance we offer that their mental health and self-efficacy have a total backslide once we house them. And between that and knowing our company is operating needle exchanges while refusing to encourage sobriety for our clients I just... I wonder what the fuck I'm even doing. I got into this field because I wanted to help people but... I'm not helping anybody. And I can't help but wonder whether or not, if my company dissolved tomorrow, would the community we serve be better or worse off? It may be harder for them initially, but it may also drive them towards more resilience. With every budget cut we've received thus far, our clients have become more resilient each time we give them less financial aid. And, like, my politics are SO far to the left that I want to say "no, I'm being silly! Everyone deserves an easier time!" but if I look at the actual outcomes in client wellness like... I don't know if I believe that... at least not ran this way. So it's like this... ethical work crisis and then this internal political crisis of like.... ostensibly this is work that aligns with me politically but... seeing it fail... have my politics changed?
I guess I'm just curious for others doing similar work.... is this a normal feeling to have? Like, I love my job and I like my work but... the more I wonder about the long-arch implications... the less I seem to be able to justify continuing to do it; especially for a company ran so haphazardly and so unwilling to address issues (like staffing concerns) that directly affect client and employee well-being.