u/restlessss5

36 F going through a breakup, have no social media, very few close friends and feeling alone.
Looking to fill that gap in feeling with a friend/friends to talk to all day long.

I’m a nurse, a mom and a dog mom lol. I’m both a homebody and outgoing love to do things outdoors. I have a lot of tattoos and I’m down to earth.

Anyone wanna become besties?

I ended a very serious relationship this week. We had both deleted all of our social media accounts while dating. I don’t have a lot of close friends and now I lost the person who I spent all my time with. I feel very alone and feel like dealing with this grief is exacerbated by not having close friends to talk to and spend time with

I apologize for the length of this before I even start.

I have been on and off with someone for the last 9 years. I ended it 2 years ago no contact for 10 months and that was the longest I’d ever gone without him. He was very controlling and emotionally abusive and I couldn’t take it anymore.
Ffwd to last July. After those 10 months I accepted his invitation to meet for a drink (he would still intermittently reach out every few months).
From that night on we were inseparable. It seemed as if we both grew emotionally in the time apart and he offered to do everything that had been lacking all the years we’d been together. He bought me a promise ring and he would have me over to his house all the time and I finally met his parents! He was sending me flowers and we would go out to dinner and would constantly text and talk and do all the things you do when you’re in love.
Ffwd to September. I got pregnant. We were very happy.
At the tail end of October I was supposed to go to his brothers wedding with him to meet his whole family. And then I suffered a miscarriage.
I was devastated and broken from it. It was a day or 2 before the wedding and I made a decision not to go because I was a wreck and I didn’t know what I would be going though physically.
He got drunk and barely text me while at the wedding while I was home in such a poor emotional state.
Since then nothing was the same. He stopped ever having me over to his house. He didn’t let me see his parents anymore even though I knew they were asking about me. Our time together was less and less as were our conversations.
Ffwd to April. Things are at an all time low and I told him if things didn’t get better I would have to leave. All these months I’d been telling him I’m hurt and what was bothering me and he would always say I’ll fix it and didn’t. He never had me back to his house and our texts became almost robot like. All he would do is ask me how my day was and if I ate. We started to barely see each other.We’d never speak about getting married anymore or the future at all. Or genuinely anything if I’m being honest. I found myself constantly crying to him communicating that something was wrong and he’d tell me no it’s not. Everytime I’d ask he’d tell me he wanted this but there was no effort on his part no attention no affection no love.
Here we are in May and I told him I’m done. Crying and begging for the bare minimum? I couldn’t take it anymore I felt like I was going mental. Everytime I’d ask what was going on or why things were different or what I did wrong I’d never get an answer
It hurts a lot and I’m hoping I made the right decision.