u/roaskeal

I'm literally having a fucking mental breakdown over this.

I was out with my friends and ordered a dessert drink. When the waiter brought it over, he asked who ordered it. My friend pointed at me, he looked at me, smirked, and said, "Oh, seems like it" while looking me up and down. Everyone laughed. I've had people comment on my weight before, so I instantly took it as him saying I looked like the kind of person who'd order a dessert drink because I'm fat.I genuinely haven't stopped crying since. I don't even want people looking at me anymore. I don't want to leave the bathroom. I feel so fucking disgusting and I can't stop replaying it in my head. Am I losing my mind? I feel like Im being wayy too sensitive about this.

Edit: no need be a dick and DM me saying some mean shit for no reason. I asked a simple question and I'm trying to be respectful with my responses.

When I say I lie, I usually mean I hold basically no truth in whatever I'm saying. I lie about all kinds of stuff, whether it's small like what I had for breakfast, or lies that seriously affect other people's lives. Such as lying about having illnesses, mental problems, relationships etc.. Ive lied about suicide attempts, self harming, and I even lie in my own journal. I'm starting to feel like I'm forgetting my own truth and reality sometimes. it's like I don't really know whats real anymore. many people have noticed my lies and even pointed them out during conversations. Everything that comes out of my mouth is a lie and I feel like I cant trust myself with my own words sometimes. I lie in situations where lying isn't even needed. it makes me feel this sort of I guess excitement or happiness that I got away with a lie. Which Later leaves me with severe distress trying to remember the exact lie days later. I don't even know if this is related but I also keep making fake identities and accounts to threaten them and use their own secrets against them. I don't exactly do anything with it I just enjoy seeing them panic and beg me not to tell anybody about it. It's kinda ironic that I force other people to tell the truth whilst actively lying to them. I don't exactly feel regret but it's more like I'm tired of the embarrassment of being caught in my own lies. I just wish I could keep lying without having anyone find out. I'm so fucking fed up with living in my own lies and delusions and even forgetting my own reality.

Craved a cookie so I had a zero coke, 3 cups of milk, cucumbers, noodles, two large shawrmas, an entire pack of chocolate, 2 milkshakes AND still had 5 cookies...