u/rusmayart

عمري 23 مهتم بالقيمنق واتفرج مسلسلات
انا ادرس بامريكا ف الوقت مقلوب للاسف
برضو احب اطلع افرفر بسيكل

الغربه is loneliness
thats why im looking for friends (:

Hi everyone,

I'm registering for ENG 108 and would like to choose a professor who does not put much emphasis on presentations or public speaking.

From your experience, which ENG 108 instructor is the best choice if I want a class that focuses mainly on writing rather than presentations?

sorry for my bad English its not my main tongue

so i've been struggling with social anxiety my whole life I've been always the introvert kids, barely had any friends, and i went through stuff that i rather not to talk about, since i was young i always tried to stay away from any social settings, or anything that will make me nervous, if i heard we having a party or a social gathering i'll get so nervous about it and i will hate it soo much and i hate myself more, and couple days ago i had a class and the TA decided that all of us should sit on a circle and talk about what we learned this semester and when i heard that i wished that i didn't showed up for the class i was so nervous, and we all sat on our chairs and i tried my best to hold it together and just do it, it came my turn to talk and i tried.. unfortunately i stuttered and i heard a little giggle from someone and i was about to actually tear up in the middle of the class and i somehow controlled the stutter and talked normally and when i was finished it was like i was in heaven that i don't have to talk anymore, i really thought im gonna mess up this one bad but it didn't went sideways it was bad-ish, the giggle hurt me a lil bit but its what its,

Also im a very very awkward person to be around with, i don't know why, somedays im not nervous at all yet i still give awkwardness vibe and i can see it on their faces, i don't know if its just me or also other people have the same thing.

and also i couldn't make any friends in college and i think because i try to avoid every social situation, i try to avoid people too and someone told me that i have a mean resting face so that make it even worse for people to think im approachable.

i think my social anxiety got better through the years i remember years ago i couldn't even order from restaurant or a coffee shop, but it got better when i grew up, why? i actually don't know but i think being self dependent is the reason for that where food is way important than social anxiety for my brain haha

i still have a lot of stuff that i need to work on, i still avoid people a lot and i still hate going into new places, i can't imagine myself just walking randomly in a shop, though i did it many times my brain still thinks its a dangerous thing and i have to avoid it.

i really really want to make friends but i just don't know how, i read in reddit that you have to go to school clubs or go outside more but im not good at that at all, though just this month i found out there is free class/sessions for improving conversation skills for student in my college, unfortunately i only found out about it at the end of the semester so i think ill go for it for the next semester

i also would say im on my brain a lot, the "me" on my own brain just keep talking always which i think is a bad thing

i think this is more of a vent about me