u/sad_grimreaper

This may be just a bit unrelated.

Just a couple of months ago I was 100% sure that 2026 will be my last year. I was depressed (am still) and sucidal (am not currently). I was sure I was going to off myself and I already had a plan.

I've only recently started my PhD after being depressed for months, an year maybe. Moved to a different country for it. One of things I thought of before deciding to take this position on was "if you don't do this it is the end." This PhD opportunity wasn't the best and I know that I'll have academic barriers to face but this was the only thing that helped me see a future for myself.

Its not the best PhD opportunity. And I know I could do much better (better department, better scholarship) but I was desperate to take this role on to have a purpose.

I just wanted to put this out here because I have no one to talk to about this and just needed to say that I've been dealing with a lot. Sorry if it isn't exactly about my PhD.

Just a couple of months ago I was 100% sure that 2026 will be my last year. I was depressed (am still) and suicidal (am not currently). I was sure I was going to kms and I already had a plan.

I've only recently started my PhD after being depressed for months, an year maybe. Moved to a different country for it. One of things I thought of before deciding to take this position on was "if you don't do this it is the end." This PhD opportunity wasn't the best and I know that I'll have academic barriers to face but this was the only thing that helped me see a future for myself.

Its not the best PhD opportunity. And I know I could do much better (better department, better scholarship) but I was desperate to take this role on to have a purpose.

I just wanted to put this out here because I have no one to talk to about this and just needed to say that I've been dealing with a lot.

As a chubby guy I'm looking to be at least a little comfortable in a dark room/ sauna. Any suggestions? Is sauna mania considered a chub-friendly place?

For years I've been the kind of person who thinks about all the things I want to do in the near future - move to a nice place, get a good job, maybe find someone, etc.

Lately I've not been able to see a future where I exist. I just don't want anything to exist anymore. I'm just so fucking exhausted.

And I'm almost okay with it. I have failed at so much. I have disappointed myself. I'm sad for it, but I don't mind it too much anymore.

I used to really fear being the failure and now I'm living my greatest nightmare and I seem to be accepting it.

This might be my last few months because I don't think I can on for too long.

1. Accommodation

First time moving to Bangkok as a student. On a budget.

Trying to find an affordable/ cheap studio or 1-bedroom apartment to rent.

Where should I look?

2. Expenses

How much should I expect to spend on daily commute and utilities (electricity water etc)?

I'm not a big spender.