u/schrodingersmood247

Moriah choosing to save Nany from elimination and then Amber B going against Nurys. Amber B saying "I love Nany, I would have done the same thing."

When Chauncey and Kaycee win the daily challenge and Amber B is up for elimination, and her being so kind and loving to him about it when he felt bad.

Amber B is really such a nice person, seemingly. Don't get me wrong, she annoys me sometimes because she gets paranoid on some seasons. But she seems truly genuine and kind.

So we are really struggling with the whole evening rush. Get off work and pick up our son from daycare by 5:30, get home, eat dinner, play a little bit, and then it feels like it's time to go straight to bed. I think it's in part because sometimes my husband doesn't get home until 6:30 OR we have something like swim lessons, so we eat dinner later and then it's time to get ready for bed as soon as dinner is over. Son still sleeps with us, so we go to bed at the same time, but he takes forever to fall asleep. Then he doesn't want to wake up in the mornings, so it makes the morning stressful as well. I'm just so tired of feeling rushed in the evenings and the mornings.

I'm thinking of those people who typically get screwed over by partners/teams/format and so they never win, or people to eliminate because they basically get carried by their partner or team?

It would have to be someone who can win at puzzles, eating, physical challenges, AND the social game because eliminations would still happen.

Kaycee? Yeremi? CT?

Visited Chicago earlier this week and had my first experience with public transit. (Spent my whole life in Texas so far.) We fell in love with the ease of getting around the city! It was everything I wanted it to be.

Hi, I am just wondering if anyone here has experience with abnormal pap smears, being HPV positive, and having to have multiple colposcopies over the years?

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Obviously, I'm not looking for medical advice. I have an OBGYN that I see. I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar?

My first post was removed. Reposting and hopefully this title is better 🤞🏻

So, {An Academic Affair by Jodi Mcalister} has shot to the top of my faves list. I loved it. I'm looking for more books like it that have these features:

-rivals to lovers

-30s age main characters

-slow burn

-forced proximity or fake dating or marriage of convenience

-no 3rd act break up or miscommunication trope

-bonus for a book about books/literature

Mcalister's writing style was so just so perfect for me. I loved the character development and the academic nature of the book (but it doesn't have to be that).

The only thing I wish there was MORE of in An Academic Affair is the spice. Its Open Door and has 1 scene, and I'd really love a book with a few more scenes.

I'm posting this because I know there are some others who are searching for more books like this one as well. Thanks in advance!

*I read {Beach Read by Emily Henry} a while back and didn't like that one too much. I liked the story, but EH's writing style isn't my favorite.

*I really liked {A Novel Love Story by Ashley Poston} but again, not enough spice!

So, {An Academic Affair by Jodi Mcalister} has shot to the top of my faves list. I loved it. I'm looking for more books like it that have these features:

-rivals to lovers

-30s age main characters

-slow burn

-forced proximity or fake dating or marriage of convenience

-no 3rd act break up or miscommunication trope

-bonus for a book about books/literature

Mcalister's writing style was so just so perfect for me. I loved the character development and the academic nature of the book (but it doesn't have to be that).

The only thing I wish there was MORE of in An Academic Affair is the spice. Its Open Door and has 1 scene, and I'd really love a book with a few more scenes.

I'm posting this because I know there are some others who are searching for more books like this one as well. Thanks in advance!

Hey Bromos. Mom of a 4 year old boy here. What are we doing to raise our sons to be better? How are we raising the bar so its not in hell for them?

One (simple) thing I do is allow my son to 'help' with chores. Anytime I'm rotating laundry, he asks to help, and I always say yes. He helps put dirty clothes in the washer, he helps put clean clothes from washer into dryer, he helps sort clothes into baskets as they come out of the dryer, and when I fold he helps and puts his clothes in his dresser. Does it take 2-3x as long? Yes it does. Do we want him to know that chores and contributing are for everyone? Yes we do.

We also are teaching him to listen to his friends when they say they don't want a hug, etc. "When someone says no, that means no."

It's not much. I know I can do more. I'd love ideas.

Hi everyone! We currently live in Texas 👎🏼 and are so sick of the heat. May-October we sweat our butts off. We are 38/39, with a 3 year old kid.

We are looking for a place to move that has:

-avg temps between 20-75°F

-an hour or less to a large major airport

-easy access to nature (hiking, camping, biking, etc.)

-population size 50k or more

We currently live in an area that is 2% less than the national average, and the median home value is $320,000. Ideally, we would want a COL that is only slightly higher than that. Same or less would be great.

What cities do you suggest? Is this out there or our hopes out of touch?

Edited to say: THANK YOU so much for all of these amazing suggestions. I appreciate the input from all of you and will make a giant list to weed out/then visit. 😊

Hi bogleheads.

For context, I'm 38 and opening a new 457b governmental account. These are my options on the application. Which would be the equivalent of VT & chill?

American Beacon Small Cp Val A

American Funds New World R3

American Funds US Government Mmkt R3

Baird Core Plus Bond Inv

BlackRock 60/40 Target Allocation Inv A

BlackRock High Yield Portfolio Inv A

BlackRock LifePath Index 2030 Inv A

BlackRock LifePath Index 2035 Inv A

BlackRock LifePath Index 2040 Inv A

BlackRock LifePath Index 2045 Inv A

BlackRock LifePath Index 2050 Inv A

BlackRock LifePath Index 2055 Inv A

BlackRock LifePath Index 2060 Inv A

BlackRock LifePath Index 2065 Inv A

BlackRock LifePath Index Retire Inv A

Columbia Dividend Income A

Equitable Fixed Account

Goldman Sachs Small Cp Val Insights A

Harbor Capital Appreciation Admin

Invesco S&P 500 Index A

iShares MSCI EAFE Intl Idx Inv A

iShares Russell 2000 Small-Cap Idx Inv A

iShares Russell Mid-Cap Index Inv A

iShares US Aggregate Bond Index Inv A

JPMorgan Large Cap Growth R3

JPMorgan Mid Cap Growth R3

JPMorgan US Equity R3

MFS Intl Diversification R3

MFS Mid Cap Value R3

MFS Value R3

Principal Real Estate Securities A

Putnam Small Cap Growth R

I recently opened a 2nd Citi card. I've had the first card (Citi Double Cash Card) for YEARS with a 20k limit. I opened a second card (Citi AAdvantage) a few months ago and got a paltry $1,500 limit (strike 1). I have been using it frequently, but it also takes wayyy too long to replenish the available credit after I've made a payment (strike 2).

Has anyone else had this issue? Is there anything I can do? Anyone know WHY I can't increase my credit limit or HOW I can make the credit replenish faster? I don't have the same issues on my other card.

It is extremely frustrating, not to mention difficult, to reach the required $3,500 spend to get the bonus miles with both of these things working against me.

The title says it all. I don't have career aspirations, and it’s a really good thing. This isn't a rant per se, but it's just something I have noticed a lot lately. My husband is great. He is an amazing hands-on father, and he does whatever needs to be done without me asking. This is not a complaint about him.

I'm a teacher and don't really have career aspirations. I've never wanted to be an admin or move up. I like my school and get paid on the good end for teachers. I get 10 PTO days a year, for any reason, including illness. I have a great schedule and have no complaints.

But ever since we had a kid, I've used all of my PTO days for kid illness. My husband has taken time off, too, but it's typically me. There have been a few years I got docked pay because I run out of days, but the kid is still sick.

Last night, the kid was really whiny and sniffly and wanted to go to bed early, so we had the conversation about what the "plan" would be in the morning if he was indeed sick. My campus has testing today, and it's really inconvenient for people to find another certified teacher to proctor an exam when all certified teachers are already proctoring exams. Husband was going to a work thing (he's in consulting) in a city about 2 hours away. He said he could do XYZ (would still need to head to the office an hour away to drop stuff off and could probably come back) so that I could go to work.

Kid woke up, feels fine, husband is going to work thing 2 hours away. So IF the kid IS actually getting sick and needs to be picked up today, who will need to go get him? Me.

As I said, it's a good thing I actually DON'T have career aspirations because I'd be pretty annoyed if so.

If you were financially independent, what would you do all day? Let's say you don't have to work, but you still have to budget and track expenses. I'm not talking super wealthy, I'm just talking you have enough to not worry about most things. How would you structure your day?

Edited to say: thank you to everyone who responded. I got what I needed and appreciate the helpful tips about ACA, 529, etc, that specifically apply to lower spending/expenses in retirement.

Original post: I live in a MCOL area. My spouse and I make $144k/year take home. We are putting 40% of our income to debt right now (student loans + mortgage). We put 12% into retirement at the moment between a 401k and a teacher pension. That puts our spending at 48%, which is roughly 69k right now.

The plan is:

• Pay off student loans (Nov 2026)
• Build EF to 6 months' expenses (March 2027)
• Pay off mortgage (October 2030)
• This plan assumes no raises or budget changes, with the idea that any extra income or reduction in expenses (i.e., daycare) will go toward our retirement.

My main question is how anyone in a MCOL city with a kid is spending less than $54k a year? If we retire lean at 50, our kid will be 15 years old. He will still need financial support for several years. When I project our retirement spending, here is what I get:

Expenses in Retirement
Car Insurance (teen driver)	$200.00
Child (529, activities, car, etc)	$1,000.00
Discretionary Spending	$500.00
Food (family of 3 with a teen boy)	$1,000.00
Gas	$150.00
Grooming	$30.00
Healthcare/Insurance (assuming subsidies)	$700.00
Home Insurance	$300.00
Household	$100.00
Maintenance	$300.00
Property Taxes	$350.00
Taxes (Capital Gains?)	$300.00
Utilities	$400.00
Total	$5,330.00
Annual	$63,960.00

Do people retire lean with kids/teenagers, or typically wait until kids are gone? Does the 27k/person include children?

I'd appreciate any help with understanding expenses and checking on the budgeting aspect of this. *Not really looking for advice on other aspects like our timeline or investing. I just want to learn more about how to LeanFIRE. Thanks!

I'm looking for a FIRE calculator that I can plug in very specific phases. For example: debt payoff from this date to this date, higher contributions from this date to this date, one spouse reduces work hours at this date, pension kicks in at this date, and social security #1 at this date, social security #2 at this date.

I kind of do this in excel, but its clunky and I'd rather put it in to a calculator.

I feel like I've tried a lot of them that I've seen and this couldn't be done easily, but maybe I missed it.

Thanks in advance.

38F/39M

HHI: 145k

Debt:

Student Loans: 25k (paying off this year) @ $4500-$5000/month

Mortgage: 248k @ $1270/month

Retirement Accounts:

Spouse 401k (traditional): 188k (contributes 12% + 4% match) (target date fund + company stock)

Spouse IRA (trad): 66k (index funds- Vanguard) not contributing (rolled over from a pension account 5 years ago)

My IRA (trad): 10k (index funds- Vanguard) not contributing (rolled over from a 403b 5 years ago)

My Pension: I'm a public educator and so I will have a pension that is calculated at 2.3% x years of service x average of top 5 highest earning years. Could be anywhere between $2500-$4500 in today's dollars depending on how long I work. The % contribution toward that is 8% and I can't contribute more. I can draw from this without penalty at 62.

Other Accounts:

HYSA: 10k

HSA: 3k (currently contributing $200/month, just started this year, employer contributes 2k/year)

529: $1700 (contributing $100/month)

Other info:

We are in the process of paying off our student loans and that will be done this year. Then we will take 4 months of putting the $4500-5000/month into our HYSA to make it fully funded. Once that is done, we will start putting as much as we can into our retirement accounts. We also want to pay down the mortgage, but at 4% we know that investing might be better. We each get COL raises annually, but my spouse gets considerably more, typically anywhere between 6-10%. He also gets discretionary contributions to his 401k via company stock. We have one kid in daycare that will end in August 2027 and give us a $1000/month raise. We will likely start putting some or all of that $1000 into his 529 account.

Advice:

I want to open a 457b account that could help with retirement before the age of 62. I recently learned that a 457b can be withdrawn whenever you separate from service. What might be the downsides to this account?

Do I need any other types of accounts? These are all traditional accounts- should we have Roth accounts?

We want the ability to retire earlier than 59.5. Is a taxable brokerage necessary to bridge? Or are there ways to bridge without a taxable brokerage?

I'm sure there are more questions and I'm sure I've left something out. Please ask questions to poke holes and to help me think of things I may not have thought about.

I used to have amazing boobs when I was 20 but now at 38 after a kid and YEARS of weight fluctuations, my boobs reach my belly button and look like 2 sad pancakes. Not to mention I live in god forsaken hot AF Texas and it's already ball dripping hot outside and I have to wipe the underboob sweat away so that it doesn't get all over my shirt.

I really want a reduction or a lift or SOMETHING so that I can feel somewhat sexy again, but that would require money and time and effort and I just don't think I'll ever be able to do that.

UGGHHHHH thank you for coming to my boob rant.