u/scriptmanRK

Hi, I have been struggling all year to get anyone to respond to me or read my work. I have been reaching out via email to agencies, but I am not getting any responses other than automations.

I’ve initially tried the friendly style of a simple introduction, followed by logline and if they would like me to send my script. I got nothing back so have moved onto more info, but still nothing. Any advice on how to get some management to read this would be great please.

Dear X
I hope you’re well.
I’m a Northern Ireland-based writer seeking representation for TRESPASS, a one-hour prestige crime/family drama pilot set in rural North Yorkshire.

Logline: When a ruthless renewable energy company targets a contested stretch of rural North Yorkshire, two rival farming dynasties — the aristocratic, debt-buried Prestons and the fiercely loyal, criminally entangled McDonaghs — are dragged into a land war where old grudges, buried crimes and violent loyalties threaten to destroy them both.

The pilot recently received a 7 overall on The Black List, with an 8 for Character. The evaluation described it as having HBO/Netflix-style prestige potential and “tremendous legs as a sample.”
Tonally, TRESPASS sits in the space of Yellowstone, Succession and House of Guinness, but through a UK/Irish rural lens: land, legacy, debt, family betrayal, renewable energy, old farming rivalries and corporate aggression.

I have also developed the wider season engine. If you are interested I would love to send on my pilot.

May thanks
X

Hi, I have been struggling all year to get anyone to respond to me or read my work. I have been reaching out via email to agencies, but I am not getting any responses other than automations.

I’ve initially tried the friendly style of a simple introduction, followed by logline and if they would like me to send my script. I got nothing back so have moved onto more info, but still nothing. Any advice on how to get some management to read this would be great please.

Dear X
I hope you’re well.
I’m a Northern Ireland-based writer seeking representation for TRESPASS, a one-hour prestige crime/family drama pilot set in rural North Yorkshire.

Logline: When a ruthless renewable energy company targets a contested stretch of rural North Yorkshire, two rival farming dynasties — the aristocratic, debt-buried Prestons and the fiercely loyal, criminally entangled McDonaghs — are dragged into a land war where old grudges, buried crimes and violent loyalties threaten to destroy them both.

The pilot recently received a 7 overall on The Black List, with an 8 for Character. The evaluation described it as having HBO/Netflix-style prestige potential and “tremendous legs as a sample.”
Tonally, TRESPASS sits in the space of Yellowstone, Succession and House of Guinness, but through a UK/Irish rural lens: land, legacy, debt, family betrayal, renewable energy, old farming rivalries and corporate aggression.

I have also developed the wider season engine. If you are interested I would love to send on my pilot.

Many thanks
X

I would really appreciate some feedback from high level/experienced readers on this script. Been working on this for several months, multiple drafts etc, I’ve used story peer, has a 7 on the black list (I’m aiming for an 8), on the 99 percentile on Greenlight Coverage.

Really struggling to get anyone in the industry to get back to my emails or give me a chance to read it. Is there any obvious things holding it back from an 8 on the blacklist (hoping this will help industry people see it), also have put it into Austin this year. I’m based in Ireland / UK.

Any advice would be appreciated please.

Trying to improve it, but think I am that deep into it I cannot see how to improve it. Advice from experienced writers on how to improve this will be much appreciated.
The series follows two neighbouring farming families — one an old-money dynasty drowning in debt, the other a scrappier Irish-rooted operation running contraband on the side — as a renewable energy corporation targets their valley and triggers a violent struggle over land, inheritance and control.
The pilot recently received a 7 overall on The Black List. I believe people who like Yellowstone or Succession will enjoy it.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/52hfn6v037pp32e5sj0q2/Trespass-pilot.highland?rlkey=u3dpeq6jxcbno8hrou5ac7xpg&st=y8a2x61w&dl=0

Hi, I am going to enter my script to Austin Film Festival - it recently got a 7 on the black list. I am trying to create a UK version of Yellowstone. Any suggestions on how to improve by experienced writers would be much appreciated.

The series follows two neighbouring farming families — one an old-money dynasty drowning in debt, the other a scrappier Irish-rooted operation running contraband on the side — as a renewable energy corporation targets their valley and triggers a violent struggle over land, inheritance and control.

Hi, I am going to enter my script to Austin Film Festival - it recently got a 7 on the black list. I am trying to create a UK version of Yellowstone. Any suggestions on how to improve by experienced writers would be much appreciated.

The series follows two neighbouring farming families — one an old-money dynasty drowning in debt, the other a scrappier Irish-rooted operation running contraband on the side — as a renewable energy corporation targets their valley and triggers a violent struggle over land, inheritance and control.