u/shahzadeh__

I just noticed something. Most of you guys who have hairline recession and even some crown loss looked absolutely fine before. Obviously you look better after the transplant but not that much better.

Don't rush into a transplant. Focus on building your body, improving your posture, dress, social skills and finances.

Get a transplant if it makes you more comfortable but honestly? Try fixing everything else first. Having strong foundations will work wonders

It was a tough month. I didn't outright quit sugar. I still ate fruit, dried fruits, honey. But I stopped eating chocolate, ice cream, soft drinks with sugar, biscuits etc. I even stopped putting sugar in my coffee.

It was a slow passing, very tough month.

Yesterday, I had an ice cream and soda for the first time in 30 days. It was wonderful. But guess what? Today, I just don't really feel like eating sugar or junk food.

New habit unlocked.

Now to apply the same principle to nofap.

I'm in North London since June.

My friend from my previous city told me that my personality is fundamentally incompatible with London culture.

To tell the truth, the main reason I moved is because I hated the company I was working for and was desperate for a job elsewhere. London was the place I found new work.

Since moving, I've found that it's basically exactly the same as anywhere else, just with more opportunities to socialise and much busier than other places.

I'm doing basically the same things I was doing before. I go to work, gym, mosque (but now more regularly). I've also joined a walking and reading group and planning to start martial arts, tennis, park runs and yoga (if I can find somewhere that accepts men).

So basically exactly the same lifestyle I could have in any other medium sized city in the UK, just with... me making more effort to put myself out there. I could've done this back in my previous city.

My friends in my old city were slowly becoming less available anyway. I'm seeing them now about as often as when I lived near them.

But my friend says I'm not living the full London life and my personality doesn't suit it. What am I missing?

Fwiw... I'm much happier now than I've been in years. I now don't spend 8 hours a day in a horrible company with horrible people. I'm now in a supportive team that recognises my potential. But the social stuff? What I'm doing, I could do in most medium sized cities.

Not sure whether I'll stay in London or not. It depends if I can get a job back home. I'll probably do at least 1-2 years here though.

I've had straks from 4-17 days over the last year. I always revert back to my usual chronic severe PMO frequencies for several weeks before jumping on another streak.

It's absolutely brutal. After one PMO, I'm like "never again". Then a few minutes later, another one. And then another. Until I've basically made up for the lost PMO sessions.

How the heck do I get through it? How long does it last?

I've been suffering with severe anxiety for nearly 13 years. I've had a very traumatic childhood and adolescnece. I'm now 29 years old.

Alhamdulilah, I am a Muslim. Deen has prevented suicide. As I got older, I understand Allah more. I now see everything is in his control. With hardship, ease. I have experienced Allah's meticulous planning first hand.

So faith really helped me deal with anxiety.

But I realised lately, you don't need to be happy all the time. You don't need certainty all the time. You don't need to feel safe all the time. You just need to be able to live your life without anxiety destroying it.

I have accepted the anxiety. If a spike comes up, I now just acknowledge I am feeling this way, and this thought exists. And that's ok. I just let it exist but I don't give attention to it, and continue my task. It eventually goes away. Of course, it comes back fairly quickly. But I just repeat the process.

I also have learned to separate fact from opinion and or speculation.

"This is what has happened so far. This is my speculation and opinion. I feel anxious about X. But it is just opinion. I feel anxious about it, and that's fine. Continue what I'm doing, the anxiety will pass".

It's been a week. What's happened is that I still get spikes of anxiety very regularly. But they are passing, and I can see that if I keep doing this for 1-3 months, I think my anxiety spikes will be minimal and I will probably be a new man. And the spikes will become less frequent too.

So how can nofap and cold showers help anxiety?

Well, you get the urge to masturbate and watch porn. If you haven't practiced abstinence much or were never successful at it, it gets overbearing. You relapse. What if you weren't to fight the urge? Just sit with it, accept it's there, and continue with what you were doing? It passes. First few weeks are incredibly tough. After some time, say, 1 month, you start to find that you still get urges, but you aren't as overpowered by them. After a few months, you feel urges for what they are: a normal biological function. Not this insane impulse to watch porn and rub yourself, getting extremely restless or uncomfortable if you don't watch that one video from 2 months ago that you've been craving.

Unlike anxiety as a mental health condition, which you can learn to manage and have the same anxiety levels as someome without a problem with anxiety, sexual urges never go away. You get better at dealing with them, but they'll always be there.

If you can learn to let urges happen, accept them, not act on them, you develop mental resilience. You get better at dealing with the discomfort.

Junk food cravings have the same principle. The craving is uncomfortable. But let it exist. It will pass. The more you don't give the craving power, the less frequent and less intense it becomes over time.

Cold showers are the same. It's uncomfortable. But you persist til you finish the shower. It's uncomfortable but your body adapts quickly and you realise you can be uncomfortable and continue doing what you're doing (cleaning your body).

I find meditation just sort of... helps with all this.

But the thing is... for any of this to work, it takes time. 1-3 months of persistent effort.

All of these things have a ripple effect on each other. So it aids in learning to manage anxiety.

This life is a test. There isn't always a reason for something.

You will go through hardships sometimes for no apparent reason at all.

But sometimes there's a reason. To develop you. To shape you into a person who can handle what you prayed for.

But often times for no reason.

However, with hardship, ease.

Ibrahim AS finally had a son even into old age.

Ayyub was relieved of his afflictions.

Isa AS spoke as a baby to defend the honour of Maryam AS.

Firawn was killing babies. Musa was raised in his palace.

And sometimes there's a reason other than just a test.

Bani Israil spent 40 years circling a desert. Why? To develop them into a people capable of having their own nation.

Nothing is in your control. Everything is in Allah's control.

Be patient.

So through some tests in my life, obviously I've waited for relief and did what I could to attain relief. Some of these tests lasted years.

I tried to be patient but at some point just broke and would get very angry at God, the situation and the circumstance. Sometimes I'd act in ways I'd later regret....

.... only to find out a short while later, that those tests actually were pressure that forced me to form, change and adapt into a stronger version of myself that could handle the responsibility of what was to come next (usually a good responsibility that made me happy).

Then I'd regret acting how I did.

I believe this is all very human. But how is a believer expected to be? Is a believer expected to just remain perfectly steadfast and not break/snap/get angry? Not to question God?

Is my imaan weak or is this normal?