u/shrnnsky

Akhir-akhir ini gw liat loker didaerah sekitar banyak yg mewajibkan harus Muslim dan berhijab (bagi wanita) padahal pekerjaan nya cuman jaga toko baju dan sepatu?? Atau pekerjaan yang tidak berhubungan dengan makanan lainnya.

I mean why should we be the ones who are required to recover as soon as possible and forced to get healed from trauma? Why aren't perpetrators forced to change? What's wrong with being a victim?

A little story, when I dropped out of high school, suddenly people said I had to change, I mean, look at me now, I have a permanent disability because of bullying. Why should it be me? Why doesn't anyone tell the perpetrator to change or just die?.

It doesn't mean I don't want to be successful, but come on, why are you so hasty and tend to blame the victim? I was in so much pain and was abused by the people around me who forced their will on me when I had a broken bone, but I was still the one who was said to be at fault. "It's okay, this wound is only temporary, you can definitely change." Excuse me? I now have difficulty walking normally because it is permanent.

Why do people think like we are movie actors and our lives are like only in a movie? The film is not real and is fiction. Not all victims can immediately take revenge. Many even die because of bullying.

Aku pengen akrab sama tetangga tapi keknya mereka support terhadap abusers ku, abusers ku bikin tuduhan palsu kayak aku intoleran lah satanik lah gara-gara aku gak terlalu ikut agama?? Lalu aku juga punya alasan yaitu religious trauma. Apa banget selalu aja dihakimi tanpa alasan capek sebenarnya dan ya pengen mereka normal aja gitu gausah kayak musuhan denganku.

Skrg tetanggaku mcm musuhan dan percaya gitu aja sama omongan abusers ku disekolah lama (udah berhenti disana) gimana sih jelasinnya? Intinya dikata-katain Satanist karena ga jago agama. Iyasih- lingkungan ku sangat religius bgt.

Gimana ya caranya biar mereka gausah kyk orang musuhan tiap kali aku lewat dijulid in padahal aku gak ngapa-ngapain? Lalu pilihan ku untuk berhenti disekolah itu kan masalah personal ngapa mereka yang marah dh?

Mana ngatain intoleran lagi.

Dari kecil selalu dipaksa ikutin agama mereka dan disuruh pakai hijab dengan paksaan bahkan ga jarang kena pelecehan waktu umur 12th, dikatain kafir, satanist tanpa alasan.

Bahkan guru agama jg pernah mukul karena aku memorinya jelek susah ngehafal waktu masih sekolah, udah nyoba dan ya bisa tapi gak secepat orang-orang.

Capek bgt masalahnya ga pernah selesai sama orang-orang sok religious apalagi akhir-akhir ini diomongin orang cuman karena aku ngewarnain rambut. Kenapa sih orang suka bgt ngurusin iman orang? Urus aja diri sendiri kek. Gosah ngatain dengan sebutan "murahan" jg ajg. Ngerasa si paling pegang kunci surga, trus sekarang aku jg yg nanggung semua flashback trauma dan udh ditangani sama ahli tapi ya gitu orang ginian gapernah stop.

Sorry to say toa seberang rumah pernah bikin aku kena religious psychosis!! Terlalu nyaring dan selalu ditakut-takuti rasanya.

Gatau skrg mau gimana lagi..mau bndir aja dikata-katain. Emang tau apa sama masalah orang?

Starting from the family and during childhood they are always getting ignored/neglected even though they are labeled as good for children.

Then the people around seem to be really against asking quiet people. Why do always be like this?

For children asking questions and communicating are very important even though for most people children are annoying and very noisy.

I am a product of this and have always had social problems in my adult life. Also people always seeing me as mean person?? I'd always smiled at them, giving gifts and literally doing okay in work but still not enough interaction..

Currently I'm so tired and accidentally insulted one of them because they're keep saying that they're wise and religious even accused me as Satanist for no reason.

Just because I'm a loner or basically don't interact with people who's doing mockery to my faith before.

My hometown full of people doing mockery towards Christianity and Jesus, they even don't have basic common sense.

I think I'm the only one here that doesn't like this type of norm..it cost me limbs that I don't want to convert to another religion.

I accidentally insulted my own mom because she's saying satanic stuff and it makes me mad because please don't say such things that leads into faith mockery but I think she's doesn't understand what I meant. I always pray that she's doesn't endup like my hometown people even though she's already converted.

I feels bad right now, for the first time I insulted back to someone..I don't want to do this. I'd already saying sorry to her. It's really heavy living in hostile town.

They have now become very aggressive and judgmental towards others and talking shitty too, I often scold them when my siblings do that but because my parents are more defensive towards them they have become monsters.

Their age still 13 and 10 and this should be not normal. How could a social norms treated this as good behaviour?

It's in vain that they are hard on me and consider themselves religious.

Please parents do not defending your children doing evil things to disabled and any innocent people. Also being self claimed religious doesn't mean you're purely good person.

I have had this friendship group for a long time, about 5 years. But I feel like I won't last long here and I feel like a stranger because they always make "jokes" about being a Christian or even Jesus.

It's truly hurts my soul for staying with them.

Sometimes I joke around with them but it feels like I'm falling into darkness. Since they know I'm distancing myself from some people in the group, they might notice? And start to find me annoying. I don't want to ruin those friendships.

There's only one person who knows that I feel uncomfortable but still jokes with them and I don't really trust him..even though he's in another religion he grew up in Christian majority environment meanwhile I'm not😅 i think that's why he lowk asked me such things.

Is it right that if someday I'll leave this group? I just don't know how to confront towards mockery..

First please don't too much judge why I'm being in presecution it's such complex problems that I have for 3 years.

Mostly because I lived in small town that people here trying to convert me but I don't want to..and they're angry.

I'm 19F

Ok so for the money I already tried to search for a job but end up getting rejected rudely even getting abused. It's hard labour Jobs.

Sometimes getting accepted but the boss not paying me fully and also they're already in bankrupt now.

I tried with food and drinks at local events but nobody's buy anything I lowk bad at cooking and management and just followed my friend at that time..big mistake.

Second I tried to sell cute accessories at local events and surprisingly 10 people bought any of garbage that I sell in panic. I sell all of my accessories stuff but when I make it myself nobody's buying them.

I sell some cheap perfumes and only 3 buying it and there's 5 stuff.

I'm just lucky at that time because I got in events for free without paying any of rent. The event is for 2 days. Also lucky because I have one friend willingly to help me. Here I don't really want to take much of money because I just test "will I make money even though I've got presecution?" Well yes- but idk it's just 2 days mostly people doesn't know it was me but if they knows they probably cursed me.

I'm not sure I'll make much of money if this keeps happening that I got rejected and banned from several jobs for no reason- they just doing racism to me. My town is very small tho.

My parents have small store that which they rent to others. Can I use this? Or just let it be rented instead of "gambling" with my condition.

It's always rented and never empty of customers. It looks like the shop is very crowded with buyers because it's in the center of the market.

If I failed and getting cursed it will affect the store reputation I guess? Ok maybe it's not good idea.

Or how to manage it?

My last option is to move out to my grandma in much bigger city about 8 hours with car transport from my hometown.

I'm still would endup selling in such events and there's more events here than in my town. Idk if I should test it-

What should I do? Any of advice I would thankyou with my life fully.

How does it feel to eat real food instead of junk?

Why do my parents always feed me with junk I barely having vitamins..

I just realized at 18 that my parents neglected me and my siblings and we're always in care with our grandma.

It's always my grandma who's asking about my grade..and also after divorce they still neglected me.

I'd never going to the dentist without physical abuse or nasty argument (now I go to the dentist by myself and ofc that's many of problem)

Never going to any doctor unless my grandma told them so specifically my dad, because of it I've chronic lungs issues and doesn't have any of medication until now and always waiting to get it at peak worse death threatening only then did they take me to the hospital but they were still like they were thinking hard.

It's not that they don't have money, but they just spend it on themselves, like buying new useless bags or smoking and drinking alcohol.

My mom said it's my dad is worse but I see them almost the same, because wdym she's having another child and married again when I was dying from lung issues?? Where is she when I almost dead?

My dad also doing the same thing that he doesn't care about me and choose to not working or work but the money is for gambling instead!!

They both not using money for their children but themselves. I'd always asking money to my grandma instead..

My mom now asking for money from my own right having bank account from her money..like I'd never ask for money?? It's my right and the only money I have since I was children. Why she thinking it's her control??

It's also my right using it to dentist because my condition is worsening.

I'd dropped out from highschool too because of lung issues and several abuse (from school)

No one cares about it

I'm getting tired rn and having S thoughts but when I remembered again all of it are failed.

About food my dad is not giving extra food for me and my sister and he's the only one having big portions. Now look at me super skinny and barely can walk. People seeing me as lazy because I just want to sit and lie down for a moment rather than walk..I don't have such energy left.

My sister's not skinny because she's always going to her friends house and staying here.

Then for my mom she was too thrifty instead of looking for additional income and then neglected my education too, she's saying better buying stuff than food..help I'm dying here.

All of this feels tiring idk what to do anymore

Why I'd never be someone's favourite? My mom's favourite child is her new child my step brother.

She doesn't like me because I looks like my dad.

For grandma too I'm not their favorite grandchild it was my cousin that's having rich family and now being successful.

I think is the dead end of me..

I seem to have experienced projections several times through people whose mouths seemed to be possessed by something.

Like several times I just thought in my mind (never tell anyone) that I wanted to have a lot of money, suddenly someone that I don't know said that I was stingy?? but when it comes to I want help from that person I don't know who's she..she doesn't know about me and refuses to give me any of help in school and my religion teacher (protestant) said I want to be those satanic people?

I also met people who often talked badly about me (in local forums), but when I approached them, they just looked at me cynically for no reason? I don't know who they are or actually have nothing to do with my life at all so I ignored it. I'd ask some chit chat things they just answered like normal person talking but I know in their heart is full of rage towards me (I mean they almost not blinking when looking at me) this so scary..

Then it is not uncommon for people who were previously normal to suddenly, for some reason, want to vent their anger on me, especially when I meet people in crowds like markets or waiting rooms.

One incident at my new school was a boy who seemed to want to make fun of me but suddenly the topic changed (there was a short circuit in his phone charger caused by someone) he became angry and vented his anger and hatred on that person?

This seems like projection caused by evilness in heart.

So many emotions like hatred and envy suddenly exploded near me. Is this demonic projection?

What I mean by obsession here is not in the context of a relationship, but it seems like they are very obsessed with my life and want to control me.

I have cut off contact with many people and even left the school, but they are like people who can't accept that I have been gone for so long.

They said that I was a weirdo but imitated me so much that I got annoyed and left their presence.

Was my action right by leaving them?

I didn't explicitly shut myself, but people around me seemed to joke that bullying doesn't exist and that people "leave" this world because of skill issues. This truly hurts my soul.

They shoved me with psychosis that being evil is normal since the world it's temporary.

I don't agree with this statement because we should be the ones protecting each other from evilness.

All of these hurts my soul and I began feeling alone and learn about hopeless. Is it normal since I was 12 I'd learn about hopeless? I'm 19 now and I'd think if these keep happening I'll endup living in the woods and started being a farmer..

I was often told to do something to improve and "do not get bullied" by people around me, I mean getting bullied isn't my choice lol

How can I change my disability huh? Can you change someone's bone by magically "told" it to change?

This super foolish behaviour.

I cannot told my lungs to stop making issues to me because since I was born I'd already have it.

Yes medication will help but it's only for I can survive.

They bully me so I can be like them.

This no make sense anymore. It's disabilities you cannot change it. I'm disabled for my whole life, no matter good the hospital I'm in it cannot makes me into full healthy person.

So what's the connection with them? I'm the one who experienced it myself.

Why do they always interfere in people's lives?

I don't want to live like this either I didn't choose to be born with disabilities.

WHILE THEY HAVE THE CHOICE TO BULLY.

For half of my life I lived in wicked town and they probably in religious psychosis even try to presecuting me because I don't want to convert.

I don't want to involve in any religious thing and began isolating myself

For the peak loneliness is kind of hit me at 18 that every of my friends not looking for me anymore labeled me as boring (it's not it because I don't have the same hobby like them)

I currently saving up all of money or investing to retire so I can living in woods or became a farmer or something living in natural ways.

I don't like big cities either it makes me full of negative energy for some reason or small town but people always gossiping about each other.

I just can't I mean my soul rejecting it

I gave many chances to all of my enemies and no one change their behaviour or wrong doing at me. Instead they just started take advantage of me.

This hurts my soul.

I crave living in nature so much I don't care about wilderness anymore or about wild dangerousness if something happened it's better to rest in that way than being miserable in the crowds of people.

I want to rest my body in the wild..or woods.. forest whatever includes nature in it.

I met this person and he said that his church is the first one Christian church/denomination and saying Bible is having differences each other (denomination) How do you respond to it??

I mean by not insulting them..

Also I don't think Bible having differences? Unless it's Mormon book or something.

I cannot tell difference between good memories and the bad one both looks the same.

People around me know that I need help with not triggered my trauma or even abusing it and making me safe when I was a child or teenager. I'm an adult now I think I would be having dementia sooner or even alzheimer.

I literally forgot everything in the same time remember. This so weird.

I lived in religious psychosis environment.

People's started became a monster to each other.

Many good people I know is dead, my good uncle and aunt? Died. I feel so much loneliness since child and tried to commit when I was 12-14 it's all failed.

I dropped out from highschool due to extreme racism and they hate mixed race person. Also getting sexual abuse here and that's the part I'm running away from school.

Idk what to do anymore with cptsd these medications seem not helping since I'm in constant dangerous environment. I want to moved out so much. Even breathing in these place already triggered me.