u/signsaysapplesauce

I've never had such an efficient experience in a government office. No line, three friendly employees ready and willing to help, and they even let my super vain teen choose which picture she wanted to use. We were in and out in 20 minutes. Totally worth the drive out there.

ETA: we did not walk out with a new passport, they simply processed the application and we'll get it in the mail. Sorry for any confusion.

Picked up my mom from Touro rehab, headed uptown on Prytania and had to divert due to roadblock of multiple emergency vehicles. Hoping everyone involved is ok, anyone have info?

Any recommendations for a nice nail shop nearby, for the occasional mani-pedi?

My mom fell and broke her pelvis in 3 places. She is in a tremendous amount of pain but refuses to use the prescription lidocaine patches the orthopedist gave her. Let's review why:

- "They'll burn me!" (No they won't, they are not heated)

- "I can't have something hot stuck to me for 12 hours" (see above)

- "How about if I wear it for 3 hours" (no, that's not how it works, it's supposed to be 12)

- "They are stupid" (wtf?)

She finally agreed to wear one "because it will make you happy" but then changed her mind because she has physical therapy tomorrow and they will be using heating pads. Never mind that the patch will be off by then.

Ugh, sometimes it feels like I'm talking to a toddler!

Hi all. I'm really struggling with anger. My mother lives a block from us and can take care of her own ADLs. She can talk on the phone, watch TV, and garden. However, the dementia has affected her visual perception and also her ability to sequence. My husband and I make all of her medical appointments, deal with her finances, medication etc.

The inability to remember new info and to sequence is driving me bananas. She has new prescription eye drops she is supposed to take twice a day. I put these by her pillbox because she takes pills twice a day. I must have explained to her at least 50 times that whenever she takes pills, she takes eye drops. She also has OTC lubrication gel to put on her eyes at night. I put this by her bedside and explained that when she goes to bed, she puts that on. I have explained about a gazillion times that she will know this because it's by her bedside and the package is dark with a moon on it - therefore, it's for nighttime.

Friends...she cannot get this. No matter how many times I explain that the drops by the pillbox are to be taken twice a day when she takes her pills - she still asks me to review this with her daily. She never gets it right. She thinks the eye drops are once a day and the gel is in the evening. Or she wonders if the gel is twice a day. Or she thinks the drops are twice a day but why does she need the gel?

Friends, I have had it. I have been working so hard in therapy and with my own self control to be patient. But yesterday - after explaining this multiple times over the past week - I just lost my temper. Nothing dangerous, just an edge in my voice that hurts her feelings. But I just cannot believe that this brilliant, resilient woman, with an advanced degree and who was always highly organized, cannot make the leap that the drops by her pills - which she takes twice a day without prompting - also need to be taken twice a day.

I know this is a small thing compared to what so many are dealing with. But it makes me so angry to do so much work on the back end only to have her unable to do the one thing she is responsible for. And I'm so very worried about the future.

Thanks for listening.

Hi all. I'm really struggling with anger. My mother lives a block from us and can take care of her own ADLs. She can talk on the phone, watch TV, and garden. However, the dementia has affected her visual perception and also her ability to sequence. My husband and I make all of her medical appointments, deal with her finances, medication etc.

The inability to remember new info and to sequence is driving me bananas. She has new prescription eye drops she is supposed to take twice a day. I put these by her pillbox because she takes pills twice a day. I must have explained to her at least 50 times that whenever she takes pills, she takes eye drops. She also has OTC lubrication gel to put on her eyes at night. I put this by her bedside and explained that when she goes to bed, she puts that on. I have explained about a gazillion times that she will know this because it's by her bedside and the package is dark with a moon on it - therefore, it's for nighttime.

Friends...she cannot get this. No matter how many times I explain that the drops by the pillbox are to be taken twice a day when she takes her pills - she still asks me to review this with her daily. She never gets it right. She thinks the eye drops are once a day and the gel is in the evening. Or she wonders if the gel is twice a day. Or she thinks the drops are twice a day but why does she need the gel?

Friends, I have had it. I have been working so hard in therapy and with my own self control to be patient. But yesterday - after explaining this multiple times over the past week - I just lost my temper. Nothing dangerous, just an edge in my voice that hurts her feelings. But I just cannot believe that this brilliant, resilient woman, with an advanced degree and who was always highly organized, cannot make the leap that the drops by her pills - which she takes twice a day without prompting - also need to be taken twice a day.

I know this is a small thing compared to what so many are dealing with. But it makes me so angry to do so much work on the back end only to have her unable to do the one thing she is responsible for. And I'm so very worried about the future.

Thanks for listening.

Hi,

My husband bought a giant thing of baby spinach from Costco. It's just about to get gross so I need to use it quickly. No salads please. Can't wait to hear suggestions, thanks!

ETA: I made saag with roasted cauliflower and it was fantastic!!! An entire box of Costco spinach simmered down to barely enough for 3 people - it was like magic.

Thanks all!

Hi - my elderly mom is recovering from a fall and is very unsteady on her feet. She uses a walker or a transport wheelchair. She loves to go out to lunch so I'm looking for places I can bring her that are safe and easy to navigate, both inside and outside.

Martin's uptown is perfect: good handicap parking, relatively smooth lot, easy ramp and plenty of room in the aisles. Any other suggestions would be appreciated, thanks!

Ugh I am so frustrated! My mom, who has mild to moderate dementia, lives alone near us with our support. 3 weeks ago, she fell and fractured her pelvis and has been in inpatient rehab. The hospital is ready to discharge her but they emphasize she needs 24 hour supervision and assistance with ADLs. We are uncomfortable with providing this care entirely ourselves because we are scared we will accidentally lose our own balance helping her, plus my mom really does not want us helping her shower and go to the bathroom. I looked into home carers but they are extremely expensive and also, you don't know who you will get and if they are good. My mom is also uncomfortable having strangers in her house.

​

I figured she can go to 30 day respite care at a very nice assisted living place for about the same cost as an overnight home carer. It's costly but she gets all the bells and whistles, including meals, activities, 24 hour assistance, medical monitoring, plus we can pick her up and take her to dinner etc. sounds great, right?

​

I am getting SO MUCH PUSHBACK from the doctor and discharge planner at the hospital! The doctor told my mom "I don't think you need to do that." When I expressed my concerns about being able to care for her myself, not to mention the need for 24 hour support, she told me, "We send people home who are in much worse shape than your mom - even quadriplegics!"

​

I feel so disrespected by the hospital. They say she needs 24 supervision and help with ADLs, but provided no suggestions about how to do this other than, "we'll train you." I work! I have a teenager at home and my husband is recovering from cancer. He can help but I have no other family to pitch in. And when I come up with a solution, instead of inquiring why we think this is best, they undermine me to my mom and insist that we can do this ourselves. The doctor even said, "well, you don't have to stare at her 24 hours a day, just be in the other room." So...how do I work? Spend time with my family? Bring my daughter to her own activities? Rest?

​

I'm beside myself. Oh, and my mom has been there for 3 weeks and the social worker never once called me. The discharge planner never once gave me any resources to explore.

​

Maybe we don't look like we can afford it, but we can. The 30 respite makes sense to all of us, including my mom. Why is the hospital pushing back on us like this? Ultimately it is our say, but I just don't get it and I am so angry.

​

Thanks for listening.

​

We had a party and the caterer left us with a bunch of lemon wedges. I don't want to toss them but I don't love lemon wedges in my drinks enough to use them all for this purpose. Thoughts on what to do with them?

Hi,

My accepted student did not initially apply to the HC, but submitted in April after they reopened the HC applications. Any ideas around timeline for notification of acceptance or not? Whether or not they are accepted impacts housing and courses, so they are looking forward to knowing soon.

Thanks!

My mom clearly has dementia symptoms but I have always told her it's just "aging brain." She is distressed at how much she forgets (plans, birthdates, serious stuff like having no memory of my spouse having heart surgery or my daughter going to the hospital for suspected appendicitis). I have always thought she would be more distressed if I actually told her she has dementia, or if she received a formal diagnosis from a physician (I suspect Alzheimer's). I worry she will just give up.

That said, I feel really badly about not being honest with her. She seems to believe she will "get better" and gets upset when she doesn't make progress. Plus, I don't like secrets and I think that people deserve to know their diagnoses.

What advice can you give about whether or not a LO should know?

I'd like to get my mom a 3 or 6 month flower delivery subscription and I would prefer to shop local.

Has anyone ever had anything like this with a local florist and can recommend? We've had good service with Harkins and Mitch's for prom flowers, and I plan to call them, but I'm also open to suggestions!