u/sinistercat_

So the path is there to end all suffering. When I meditate I forget my future and past for the moment. I just try to accept. But what if the present itself holds pain?

Since I've been sick for a while now pain is hard to cope with. Meditation made me sit with my pain. It's really uncomfortable. I sit so long until I finally accept the pain I'm in. It's easier to live like that. Still the pain doesn't go away.

I'm not sure...is it supposed to go away. Maybe my idea of acceptance is not the right way to meditate with these symptoms.

Since this has been hard for me lately and meditation is one of the only coping mechanisms left when I feel sick...would be great if it worked in a less exhausting way( yes feeling my pain so deeply makes me tired)

Any ideas?

( For some reason this post got deleted in the meditation forum. )

Actually I've seen my daydreaming more as a super power. Something I've build since I can remember and strengthen over the years. Twice I almost lost the entry to my inner world and it was horrible.

Mostly I separated my MD time with my real life by only going there to fall asleep.

Currently I'm in a lot of physically pain due to sickness and spend a few more hours during the day as well.

It helps me to cope with strong emotions, which I've had since a child. I've not noticed tho how it affects me negativly. I have a bunch of hobbies. I work towards a stable Futur. I also have good social life.

I don't exist in my fantasy world. Maybe that's the cue to it. I just live in different characters and build their stories. Expanding my world in details, building political system... probably I could write a bunch of books, but it feels so personal to me. I'm not sure if I want to share it.

Training my visual thinking has also helped me to study better. A lot of my characters are really smart and experts on topics I currently study. Things I learn in the books also appear in my world to some point.

Being able to go deeply into an imaginary world also brought me great progress in Therapy, since my therapist liked to use inner journeys to work with me.

And the biggest benefit is that I just fall asleep faster. I can fall into an relaxed state, and I don't need my phone on long train rides to stimulate my mind.

So after all it shocked me to see that MD is such a problem for many. And that some people do everything possible to stop it, treating it like a drug. And maybe I don't MD and this is different for me. I jus don't see myself stopping this any time soon since it's a gift for me.

Am I completely delusional and falling into MD addiction or is my point of view on MD valid?

What made you convert to Buddhism? How has it changed your life?

I really want to be a morning ok? Actually I am. Well not really. Just in the sense that getting up early was never the problem. There were days in highschool where I got up at 4am to do some studying. I cannot study at all after 9pm. The problem is, I love my 7-8h of sleep but always end up going to bed past midnight. It's like my brain wont understand I should go to sleep before 11:30pm. Even when I put my phone out of reach, I end up doing the most random stuff. It's not like I have no free time during my day. I think I just love the quiet at night. Not just in the house but also my thoughts get slower. Tired... I feel the same in the early morning. This sense of calm. So why not shift it ? I don't know. Going to bed around 9-10pm for some reason just gives me the feeling of loosing something. I also don't think it can be solved with pure dicipline. I've had this problem for years and in other aspects of life I'm not lazy at all. Any tipps?

My spiritual journey started a few years ago. I went through very dark places that made me not only a better person but also connected me to the higher power. At some point this year I felt like my struggle finally had come to an end. That I had found time to breathe again. But it didn't last longer than a month. I had a lot hard situations since then. They all taught me important lessons, but it keeps happening at a pace where I feel like I cannot comprehend it anymore. My body feels so tried and weak. And even this type of suffering is teaching me new things about myself. I'm greatful for all the lessons, but I could use a break. Some time to live between these events. I wish to feel strong again. I want to get back up. But no matter how hard I try some things keep hitting me. Probably this whole experience of pain is just showing me how strong I am and I don't want to complain. But also I could use a break.

I only believe what I can experience on my own body. So certian experiences lead me to believe in a higher power. This higher power is leading me in a clear direction. Other parts of my believes have been formed through concepts of books I've read, because they felt right. I cannot prove them. The higher power I feel a connection with seems very real. And in order to connect more deeply with it I started to look more into religion. Christianity is what I grew up with. And while I do believe some parts of it, I don't feel a conncetion to Jesus. Islam has some believes that go against my conception of the world. Well all religions do. It's a question of interpretation, but I do draw the line at some point. Buddhism has my heart in some aspects, but no higher power to believe in. Also it's against having an ego, but has the goal to end all of your suffering which is an egoistic thought. Believing in something makes me spiritual right?

I'm just looking for some teachings to follow to deepen my connection. I'm looking for community. And isn't that the core of religion?

Any thoughts on this? One of my ground believes is to help others. When I deepen my connection I hope to find more guidance on how to help.

So growing up in a country with a huge alcohol consumption per person starting at a young age. I have tried the substance a few times already. And while my friends all made their experiences with alcohol, from the effects like making you more relaxed and outgoing to being too drunk to function properly, I would just always watch them and wonder. In fact it took me a few years to understand the effects alcohol had on me weren't usual and if you usually consume it, it comes with a bunch of funny benefits( for the moment). For me it didn't.

Frist I want to clarify, I never had more than 2-3 drinks. My tolerance must be super low.

So when I drink it usually doesn't take long until I start to feel it. I don't know how it's supposed to feel. For me it starts with a cotton candy like feeling in my head. The next thing is, I start to overthink. Badly. And while I'm quite an extrovert with no problem dancing at parties( yes without being drunk), the overthinking makes me less outgoing in that moment. I could say it has the absolute reverse effect on me.

And since I hate the "drunk" feeling I've always stopped after a few sips and stopped drinking that stuff entirely at some point. Lucky my friends aren't heavy drinkers either and I never had bad peer pressure on me. Well I had from other people. But it never felt worth trying again since it's such a weird feeling. I'm highly sensitive,but not sure if these effects are connected to this. Since alcohol already gives me these bad side effects I've never tried any other form of drugs like smoking or weed.

Has anyone had a similar experience so far? I'm just curious.