Hey dude, you'll be okay. It'll be okay. It's been some bad days, months, or years but you've never ever backed down at the end of the day, that just isn't what you do. You were gonna be ok back then and you'll be ok now. Try not to let the panic reaction win.
After everything you have gone through, where are you? Here. Fuckin chugging along, getting on with it and trying your best to be the best you can be. That's a fucking bad ass quality to have. You're a bad ass. Don't forget that man. It's easy for the noisy ADHD brain chatter to completely drown out any semblance of progress but we both know that this has been a road long travelled, and you deserve to take a sec and recognise that and reclaim your ownership of being that bitch
I love yall