u/sleepystars444

When I (30F) was younger, I thought ghosts were real. I even experienced things that I thought were supernatural. However, as I grew older, I realized that most things that appear supernatural can be explained by something natural. I’m also a marriage and family therapist student, so learning about mental illness has given me insight into how powerful the human mind is. I tend to believe that our thoughts can influence our reality. Therefore if I believe ghosts exist, then maybe I’d be more susceptible to a ghostly encounter. Interestingly, my professor, who I consider to be an intelligent woman, has said it’s hard for her to not believe in ghosts with some of the things she’s heard clients share. It makes me wonder, could ghosts be real?

Part of me wants to experience something like that to know if it’s real. Another part of me is grateful I haven’t. I’m also spiritual and grew up Catholic. I pray everyday and like to think that I have guardian angels protecting me. Maybe that’s why I haven’t experienced anything supernatural.

Is there anyone out there who is very logical and has had a ghostly experience?

My baby’s first birthday is in 4 months. I’m not sure how to celebrate. I’m Mexican and it’s traditional for my family to throw big parties for the first birthday. I had a big party for her baby shower which was very exhausting and stressful to plan and host. I’ve never done much for my own birthday. The most I do is cake or dinner with friends and family. I’m feeling guilty like I should do something big. It all sounds stressful though.

I’m also in grad school and my husband doesn’t really enjoy planning birthdays, so that adds more stress. He said he’d help pick up food/pay but that still leaves all the planning to me. My baby won’t remember it anyway but I might regret not throwing a party. I also live in apartments and parking is terrible so I’d have to find a location to have the party at and I don’t have the most money.

What did you do for baby’s first birthday? Any ideas for low pressure/low budget birthday? How do you celebrate if you live in a small apartment?

I’m still feeling shocked. We have an 8 month old baby. I just got home from spending time with friends. She was crying and hungry. I asked if he fed her and he got really upset. Started cursing and saying I don’t know “what the fuck” he’s already tried.

He has a pattern of yelling at me and cursing. Recently, he called me the R word. That was difficult for me because I told myself I would not accept name calling in a relationship. It was the first time and only time he’s done that. Although later in our argument when I brought that up he continued to say “you were being R word” I grew up being talked to like that so I guess I just thought that’s normal.

At some point I asked him to take the baby so I could shower. And I regretfully said “you’re being an a hole” he then slams the bathroom door in my face (he’s slammed doors multiple times and has also thrown furniture before in the past). I open the door because I’m upset he slammed it in my face (maybe I’m wrong here and should’ve just left it closed). He then puts our baby down and pushes me further into the bathroom. At this point she starts crying and I’m shocked and scared. He’s never laid his hands on me. He didn’t physically hurt me but he was physically aggressive with me. I’m also wondering if his actions are justified.

My gut is telling me to leave him even if it’s just one time. But I’m in grad school, and being a single mom would be incredibly difficult. It’s scary to consider throwing away 10 years of marriage. I still love him and I feel confused.

Can a couple survive this? Even if it only happened once? My poor baby :( I don’t want her to think this is normal. I want him to get help. Can he change? Are we beyond help?

TLDR: husband pushed wife. Wife is unsure about what to do.

Hi! For some context, I am a 30 year-old female and my stepmom has been in my life since I was a baby. As far as I can remember, her and my mom have never really gotten along. I would often be triangulated in their conflict and it caused me a lot of stress and anxiety growing up. I’m an adult now and I don’t have a close relationship with my biological mother or my stepmother. However, recently, my stepmother has stepped into my life a bit more and seems nicer. I’m still cautious though. During one of our last visits together, my mom somehow was brought up into the conversation and I got a weird feeling in my stomach. It was the anxiety coming back to me.

So I want to set a boundary that I don’t want to talk about my mom with her. As a child I feel like I didn’t really have any control over the conversation topic and my Stepmom would pressure me to talk about what my mother was saying when she wasn’t around or what I told my mother. It was a big he said/she said/they said situation and I really didn’t want to be apart of it but was somehow blamed for it almost every time.

Next time I see her, if mom is brought up, I plan to say something like “I don’t want to talk about mom.” I hope that’s enough to end the conversation but I worry she might ask WHY. Then, I’m not sure how to best respond to that without bringing up the past. If I bring up the past it might trigger the start of another conversation I don’t want to have with her. She minimizes my experience with them and says I was “playing games” when I was just trying to navigate a complicated situation. I don’t want to argue with her.

What would you suggest? Have you been in a similar situation? How did you navigate setting a boundary with someone and them asking why?

TLDR: I’m trying to find the best way to tell my stepmom that I don’t want to talk about my bio mom. How do you explain to someone that you don’t want to talk about another person?