u/sn00py-and-garf

I (26f) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (27m) who has a 3 year old from his previous relationship. I know the ex (29f) and I won’t be friends, however, I want to do everything to make sure the child’s life is easy and that we at least have an amicable relationship.
We all participate in the same theater and the ex and I are currently in our first show together. Before rehearsals began, I reached out to her letting her know I’d be happy to meet with her if she wanted to discuss any boundaries or concerns she had. She seemed open to it and appreciative but, never set up a time and I didn’t want to push it further.
Fast forward to now, she often has to figure out childcare for the kid during rehearsals. Sometimes that’s asking my bf, his mom, a sitter, and even recently she asked me (which I was thrilled by since I took it as an indication she trusts me with them).
Yesterday she had a sitter at the theater, and because the child knows and is comfortable with me, they did come up to me. One of the times, they wanted to be held and I obliged for a few minutes before returning them to their mom once I saw she was free.
I received a text from the mom today saying “I wanted to let you know that if (child) is with a sitter or other childcare, then they need to stay with that person unless I'm around or aware of the change”.
Fair enough. I replied, “For sure! Sorry, I didn't mean to impede on that, they had just come up to me when they were with the sitter and then she wandered away. I'll make sure that they stay with who they’re supposed to in the future”
Final response from her is “Thanks!” Followed by “All adults shouldn't really encourage a child to be without their childcare without their parents knowledge and approval”
……right. I don’t even necessarily disagree but can’t help but feel I’m being talked down to like she knows better and that I am stupid. I haven’t responded and am not sure if I should. I don’t want to set the precedent it’s okay to speak to me that way but I also don’t want to stir the pot for me or my bf! Any advice on how to navigate this??

I (26f) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (27m) who has a 3 year old from his previous relationship. I know the ex (29f) and I won’t be friends, however, I want to do everything to make sure the child’s life is easy and that we at least have an amicable relationship.
We all participate in the same theater and the ex and I are currently in our first show together. Before rehearsals began, I reached out to her letting her know I’d be happy to meet with her if she wanted to discuss any boundaries or concerns she had. She seemed open to it and appreciative but, never set up a time and I didn’t want to push it further.
Fast forward to now, she often has to figure out childcare for the kid during rehearsals. Sometimes that’s asking my bf, his mom, a sitter, and even recently she asked me (which I was thrilled by since I took it as an indication she trusts me with them).
Yesterday she had a sitter at the theater, and because the child knows and is comfortable with me, they did come up to me. One of the times, they wanted to be held and I obliged for a few minutes before returning them to their mom once I saw she was free.
I received a text from the mom today saying “I wanted to let you know that if (child) is with a sitter or other childcare, then they need to stay with that person unless I'm around or aware of the change”.
Fair enough. I replied, “For sure! Sorry, I didn't mean to impede on that, they had just come up to me when they were with the sitter and then she wandered away. I'll make sure that they stay with who they’re supposed to in the future”
Final response from her is “Thanks!” Followed by “All adults shouldn't really encourage a child to be without their childcare without their parents knowledge and approval”
……right. I don’t even necessarily disagree but can’t help but feel I’m being talked down to like she knows better and that I am stupid. I haven’t responded and am not sure if I should. I don’t want to set the precedent it’s okay to speak to me that way but I also don’t want to stir the pot for me or my bf! Any advice on how to navigate this??

I (26f) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (27m) who has a 3 year old from his previous relationship. I know the ex (29f) and I won’t be friends, however, I want to do everything to make sure the child’s life is easy and that we at least have an amicable relationship.
We all participate in the same theater and the ex and I are currently in our first show together. Before rehearsals began, I reached out to her letting her know I’d be happy to meet with her if she wanted to discuss any boundaries or concerns she had. She seemed open to it and appreciative but, never set up a time and I didn’t want to push it further.
Fast forward to now, she often has to figure out childcare for the kid during rehearsals. Sometimes that’s asking my bf, his mom, a sitter, and even recently she asked me (which I was thrilled by since I took it as an indication she trusts me with them).
Yesterday she had a sitter at the theater, and because the child knows and is comfortable with me, they did come up to me. One of the times, they wanted to be held and I obliged for a few minutes before returning them to their mom once I saw she was free.
I received a text from the mom today saying “I wanted to let you know that if (child) is with a sitter or other childcare, then they need to stay with that person unless I'm around or aware of the change”.
Fair enough. I replied, “For sure! Sorry, I didn't mean to impede on that, they had just come up to me when they were with the sitter and then she wandered away. I'll make sure that they stay with who they’re supposed to in the future”
Final response from her is “Thanks!” Followed by “All adults shouldn't really encourage a child to be without their childcare without their parents knowledge and approval”
……right. I don’t even necessarily disagree but can’t help but feel I’m being talked down to like she knows better and that I am stupid. I haven’t responded and am not sure if I should. I don’t want to set the precedent it’s okay to speak to me that way but I also don’t want to stir the pot for me or my bf! Any advice on how to navigate this??

I (26f) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (27m) who has a 3 year old from his previous relationship. I know the ex (29f) and I won’t be friends, however, I want to do everything to make sure the child’s life is easy and that we at least have an amicable relationship.
We all participate in the same theater and the ex and I are currently in our first show together. Before rehearsals began, I reached out to her letting her know I’d be happy to meet with her if she wanted to discuss any boundaries or concerns she had. She seemed open to it and appreciative but, never set up a time and I didn’t want to push it further.
Fast forward to now, she often has to figure out childcare for the kid during rehearsals. Sometimes that’s asking my bf, his mom, a sitter, and even recently she asked me (which I was thrilled by since I took it as an indication she trusts me with them).
Yesterday she had a sitter at the theater, and because the child knows and is comfortable with me, they did come up to me. One of the times, they wanted to be held and I obliged for a few minutes before returning them to their mom once I saw she was free.
I received a text from the mom today saying “I wanted to let you know that if (child) is with a sitter or other childcare, then they need to stay with that person unless I'm around or aware of the change”.
Fair enough. I replied, “For sure! Sorry, I didn't mean to impede on that, they had just come up to me when they were with the sitter and then she wandered away. I'll make sure that they stay with who they’re supposed to in the future”
Final response from her is “Thanks!” Followed by “All adults shouldn't really encourage a child to be without their childcare without their parents knowledge and approval”
……right. I don’t even necessarily disagree but can’t help but feel I’m being talked down to like she knows better and that I am stupid. I haven’t responded and am not sure if I should. I don’t want to set the precedent it’s okay to speak to me that way but I also don’t want to stir the pot for me or my bf! Any advice on how to navigate this??