u/sophhhiaa

if yall are doing one for y12 what ideas do you have for your topics bc i really have no clue 😭 i wanna do it on something like women's rights or gay rights or politics or some shit but it's not gonna be allowed bc it's controversial but it's the only stuff i'm passionate about 💔

that was literally exhausting 😭
i fainted yesterday and i've been feeling super sick and unwell since then but i still had to go for the taster day and i was suffering all day my tummy was feeling so upset 😭

im not usually social but i did make an acquaintance but she's probably not coming here so thats sad

after buying £30 worth of notebooks for my subjects i had 2/3 teachers say i cant use notebooks in their class and to get a folder (🫩) my bad for trying to be prepared

i like one of my subjects but im a bit worried about the other two but i dont have anything i wanna switch them with so i might have to suck it up. the psychology teacher was really emphasising that we wont get much free time bc theres so much psychology work to do so im not happy abt that bc i barely did any work for gcse and i was already overwhelmed 😭 and the textbooks for the two years combined are over £60...

i like the smaller classes but i know im gonna get called on more often which does stress me out a bit but idk

overall the day was decent but im literally so tired after that 😭

i fainted yesterday (idk why i think it might be low iron) and ever since then i've been super nauseous but not like throwing up nauseous just nauseous and it literally won't go away 😭 i can barely eat, ive sipped water, ive done deep breaths, ive sniffed hand sanitiser (usually that gets rid of my nausea) but nothing is making it go away and it's making me really anxious and i just wanna feel normal 😭

that was literally exhausting 😭
i fainted yesterday and i've been feeling super sick and unwell since then but i still had to go for the taster day and i was suffering all day my tummy was feeling so upset 😭

im not usually social but i did make an acquaintance but she's probably not coming here so thats sad

after buying £30 worth of notebooks for my subjects i had 2/3 teachers say i cant use notebooks in their class and to get a folder (🫩) my bad for trying to be prepared

i like one of my subjects but im a bit worried about the other two but i dont have anything i wanna switch them with so i might have to suck it up. the psychology teacher was really emphasising that we wont get much free time bc theres so much psychology work to do so im not happy abt that bc i barely did any work for gcse and i was already overwhelmed 😭 and the textbooks for the two years combined are over £60...

i like the smaller classes but i know im gonna get called on more often which does stress me out a bit but idk

overall the day was decent but im literally so tired after that 😭

omfg genuinely they're so dirty and lazy and disgusting and i can't take it. i've done the dishwasher like 7 times and i finally got everything clean and then just as i turned the dishwasher on for the last wash my dad came and made a sandwich and dirtied up 2 bowls, a plate, the cheese grater and a knife 🫩🫩
and my sister keeps shoving chocolate wrappers down the sides of the sofa and in random places and refusing to clean up after herself (she's 11 btw)

im actually going insane 😭 no one cleans up after themselves and my dad keeps leaving food out to go mouldy and i can't wait to move out to live in my nice clean house 😭

basically there was a biology paper for some reason but most people weren't told about it and i knew my friend didn't know so i hid and texted her but i got caught by a mean teacher who publicly called me out and humiliated me and then i ran away to get to the biology exam and idk if i ever made it bc i woke up 😭💔

(not 100% sure this even is POTS but i associate with many of this symptoms)

i got covid when i was 12 and began having fainting and pre syncope episodes and a lot of severe fatigue, i was unable to do things i used to be able to do easily and im constantly called lazy by family. its very warm this week in my country so my symptoms are so much worse and im overall feeling very terrible rn and im worried that whatever is wrong with my body is going to ruin my life forever

i just tried to take my dog for a walk but had to come back in like 15 minutes bc we're both overheating 🥀

i'm trying to train her atm so i had a bag of grated cheese to give her as little rewards but it all melted in the bag 😭

tldr: my neighbour is old and deaf and every time he flushes his toilet it makes this insanely loud sound that slightly shakes my bed and goes on for like 1-5 minutes at a time

okay so like he's really old and he's super deaf and obviously isn't hearing the noise but it is SO loud it's like insanely annoying and it happens like 10 times a day and all he needs to do is get a new flush on his toilet and the noise will stop but he's not gonna do that bc he can't hear it and i don't wanna like tell him bc that feels mean but also like it's so loud and so bothersome and it constantly intervenes with my existence 😭
another complaint about him is that he refuses to get hearing aids so listens to the tv on 100 volume which i can also hear very loudly all day and night 🫩🫩
my room is the adjoining wall with his bathroom i'm pretty sure and the sound insulation is so bad i can hear him coughing in the morning 😭

context: my road was built as council houses but mine and i think one other got sold normally but the house quality and soundproofing is pretty shit and i can hear everything and it's so annoyinggg 😭
i already know this is gonna interfere with my revision next year

tldr: hated school, miss school somehow, don't know what to do with myself, ranting

ive always hated school so much, i have very severe social anxiety and selective mutism and i was bullied and harassed every single day. but the last few weeks during exams when everyone was just thinking about the exams it was really nice and i didn't feel so negatively about school and i was somehow enjoying myself? but now it's just abruptly over. i never really had a routine but i know that i wont be able to maintain a routine during this holiday. people always said id miss school after it's over and i thought they were crazy and it's been one day and i do miss it somehow. when i took off my uniform for the last time after spanish i lowkey just sat there and cried, and it felt like i dont even have an identity anymore. i didnt really feel the pressure of the exams and didnt revise much so i thought id enjoy not even having to think about it but it feels weird not thinking about it now and i just dont know anymore 😭 i dont have a job, i dont have any friends and i barely even have a life so wtf do i do with myself during this break 😭 i spent an hour staring at myself in the mirror not even knowing who i am without school and everything feels so weird and wrong. i want to stay in this stage of my life forever but everything is happening so quickly and i feel like im behind.

idek what the point of this post is and its probably kinda deep so sorry about that but i just wanna know if anyone else feels similarly 😭