Im glad im vegetarian as an adult but i resent my parents for feeding me meat from a young age.
thankfully i was a really picky meat eater early on, i wouldn’t eat anything outside of beef or chicken. so i never ate pork products, deli meats, bologna, or hot dogs.
He was addicted to drugs during the last 10 years of his life, he treated my parents and i like garbage, he attacked his elderly dad with a meat cleaver on a couple of occasions, beat up his elderly mother for money (he’d threaten to kill us),
he’d rob elderly people at the banks, at night (admitted to doing so).
he died of a drug OD couple of years ago (found out recently thru his friend on FB). I didn’t grow up with him., he grew up in foster care from a young age,
i just don’t wanna live 45 more years.
i have a crippling autoimmune disease. which is going to get worse with each passing year.
plus, i don’t have any family, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins etc… so life is every lonely.
it almost seems unfair that i was thrown into a life i never asked for.
i also have a crippling autoimmune disease causing severe arthritis in my spine and hips. my rheumatologist told me 12 years ago (at 23) that I had joints of a 60-65 year-old, doing basic things like grocery shopping and house chores wears me down quickly.
i just don’t want to get old.
i’m doing my best to take it day by day. but the thought of living the rest of my life gives me anxiety.
Now that im 35 (almost 36), it feels as if time is flying by fast, the days and the weeks go by so quickly that i feel smothered by it.
it was never like this when i was in my 20s. and it overwhelms me sometimes,
i feel like im paying the same bills and rent every few days.
Im 35 and i feel like time is speeding up, the days and weeks fly by so quickly.
i live near a school, and it felt like kids just went back not long ago, and now they are off to summer break next month.. (the school year never went by this quickly when I was in school)
it feels as if im paying the same bills and rent every other day.
some days i think its still Tuesday, when im already on Friday. im like where the fk did Wednesday and Thursday go.
I enjoy life for the most part. but having such a long life makes me anxious and gives me anxiety. I never signed up for this, and was forced into life because of my parents. the thought of having 45 more years makes me sad.
I can't wrap my head around it, i can't comprehend it
The thought of eating dead animal flesh grosses me out, but i do enjoy fake meats like beyond or impossible burgers, knowing that they aren’t made of animal flesh doesn’t gross me out.