u/sour-hearts

Hey everyone. I’m 22, I have a bachelors in psychology, and I have two jobs. My main job is as an ABA therapist where I make $19 an hour. My other job is Target where I’m making $15.75. At Target, I’m on demand and I work whenever I want to. I try to pick up two shifts every other week or so and I make an extra $120-200.

I absolutely love my ABA job and I can confidently say it’s one of those jobs that I was made to do. Target on the other hand... kind of really hate it. My Target bosses are great. They’re always so happy to see me and grateful whenever I pick up a shift. I just really hate how monotonous the job is. I work in fulfillment so I do the online orders. It’s a very easy job.

Here’s the issue: I’m only getting like 15 hrs a week at my ABA job. Thats $570 every 2 weeks before taxes. I thankfully don’t have to worry about rent and gas since my parents pay for both, but I NEED to save. I have a lot of credit card debt (around 3.5k) and I’m barely chipping at it. When I primarily worked at Target, I was getting around 22 hrs a week. Which is nearly $700 every 2 weeks before taxes. I was able to do so much more when I was working only at Target.

There’s a lot of cons with my ABA job. I have to drive nearly an hour everyday because I work at client’s homes. They do not pay for mileage unless I’m going between clients. For example, if I go from my house to a clients house, no reimbursement. If I go from that clients house to my next client, I get reimbursed. At the end of the day when I go home and I have to drive from literally one town to another, I do not get reimbursed. If my parents weren’t paying for my gas, I’d be spending a majority of my paycheck on gas.

I NEED to be more financially independent. I cant keep 100% relying on my parents so I told my parents I’d start paying some rent. They said I could pay $500 and they’d pay the remaining $280 or so. They told me that I can just give $100 until I’m comfortable enough to pay more. Eventually, I have to worry about my credit card debt as well as rent and groceries. So what I’m wondering now: Is it worth it to quit my ABA job and just go back to Target full time even though I’d be miserable? I’ve nearly begged my ABA boss to give me more hours and she’s doing her best to find me more clients, but I can’t survive off of less than $600 every two weeks. Yes, I still get the little bonus from target, but that’s only if shifts are available.

Since I really like ABA, I’m thinking about just switching companies and going to one that will hopefully give me more hours. But I cannot switch companies just yet since I’m going to Africa in December-January for nearly 3 weeks and my current company already approved my time off for then. I feel it wouldn’t look good to another company if I take 3 weeks off so close to my starting date and within 90 days of being hired. I also haven’t been at this company for 6 months so I’m waiting until I reach 6 months or more so it doesn’t look like I’m bouncing from job to job.

Another thing is that I’m taking one class at a community college so I can become a BSN eventually. My ABA job isn’t my forever career choice, I just wanted a foot in the door to something dealing with mental health as I want to be a Psych Nurse in the future. So I have to worry about school as well as all this financial stuff.

I’m so sorry for the long post, but please give me any advice you can!

I’m so sad. I’m young. I’m only 22 and I’ve been with nearly 100 people. I want to rip my skin off. Too many people have touched me. I don’t really know why I have sex. It doesn’t always feel good. Maybe I just want to feel wanted. But other times I feel like I’m obligated to. I feel like I’ve given so much of me away to others that there’s no more of me left for me. I feel so dirty. This type of grime will never go away no matter how much I scrub. Earlier I was in the shower just scrubbing and crying. I never realized how bad my problem had gotten.

Can someone please help me? I’m accepting that I have an addiction. What can I do to help myself? I want to do better. I want to be happy. I want to feel like myself again. I feel like my soul is shattered.

I’ve come clean about this in a different subreddit but the guilt and regret has been eating me alive so much that the only way I’ve been able to bear it is by writing about it. I’m sorry if you’ve seen my story before. No, this isn’t a fake or fetish post. This is something real that I’ve been struggling with and it is hurting my soul.

I’m 22F and I recently decided to count how many people I’ve been with. I’ve had sex with 80 men/women. I feel disgusting. I’m disgusted with myself. I looked through the list of names and I’m thinking “who is that?” Or “When did this happen?”. I don’t even KNOW 80 people. I recently had a birthday “party” and I only invited 2 people that I knew for sure would show up. I don’t know a lot of people so how did I let this happen to me?? 80 doesn’t even sound POSSIBLE.

I regret letting so many people have access to me because now it feels like I’ve given so much out that there isn’t any more of me left for me. I look in the mirror and I feel like I don’t know who I am. Who is that disgusting slut in the mirror? I don’t see the pretty and intelligent girl that my friends see. I see a stupid nympho. I barely even remember half of the people I’ve slept with. I look through the list and I don’t know how majority of them are doing. I don’t know whether they’re alive or dead.

When I think about my romantic future, I truly realize how much I’ve ruined it for me. The last guy I was in a relationship with didn’t know my body count but he was really into my promiscuity and I think he was only with me because I satisfied his specific sexual craving, and he was just in love with me because of how he saw me sexually. I hope that makes sense, but I think he was blinded by lust. I don’t think I’ll ever truly find a partner that would look past my promiscuity and the amount of people I’ve been with and love me for me. I want to change. I WILL change. But will that even ever matter? Am I not ruined forever? Has my worth not been tainted?

Despite my promiscuity, I’ve never gotten an STD or STI. I get checked regularly and I’m sometimes safe. I think I’ve just been lucky.

Hello I’m 22 and I have a client that is 15. I just had my first session with him today and to put it plainly, I did not enjoy it. I usually enjoy pairing sessions and getting to know clients, but this one did not go well.

The beginning of the session was fine, but then around hour 2, his mom had to go pick up his sister from school. I was left at home with his grandparents who do not speak English, so it was a little difficult to communicate. Once his mother left, he started groping me. I’ve never been with a client older than 7 so I was worried because I was told he was aggressive, but I didn’t expect this at all. He would hold my hands away and lift my shirt up to try and get to my breasts. This happened around 5 times. Every time he would do this I would redirect him to something else, like a squishy or some other toy. His mother came back and saw one instance and she reprimanded him. She told me how to redirect and what to do and say which i appreciate.

I told my friend what happened because i was really shaken up about it and she said I shouldn’t go back to that client and that i shouldn’t put myself in a dangerous situation again. I’ve only been in this field since May, so nearly 4 months. I told my friend that I don’t think I have a choice and that I knew what I was signing up for when I took this job. I also said I feel like my company would think of me as weak if I say I can’t handle this client. My friend told me that no one will think I’m weak for not wanting to get harassed. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to do. My friend told me I could always blame it on the drive and say I don’t want to see the client anymore for that reason. The client is an hour away and my company doesn’t pay gas.

What would you do if you were in my shoes?