u/spikedheartz_

I was born here and spent most of my childhood here. Back when Obama was the president and it felt like things were going up. Having a black president was so inspirational for me and others like me. I used to be so proud of being an american. I would visit my home country and boast about all the cities i’ve been to, the culture, the people, the activities and whatnot. And my nigerian friends and peers would look impressed. I loved being a dual citizen for most of my life. Back then almost everyone dreamed of coming to America and living “the American dream”. I had so many big dreams and expectations as a teenager.

But now? I feel hopeless. I feel angry even.

I graduated over a year ago, in a so-called lucrative field. It’s been over a year and i’m still working a minimum wage job. The job market sucks ass and i’m struggling to even get my foot in the door despite my qualifications. Yet we were promised “greener pastures“ and job opportunities when you come here. I feel for the non-Americans who migrate here especially with ICE being difficult to exist as an immigrant. The job opportunities have been scarce, which has been depressing and tiring.

Minorities are losing their rights. The abortion laws give me anxiety, so many harmful bills have been made against the lgbt community, nazis are running the country, the epstein files are a mess and killed the way i saw the leaders and government. I’ve experienced more racism here than any other country i’ve been to. And just being a minority within a minority group has felt isolating. 

The political climate is hot and i am terrified. I am embarrassed about our president and when i go back to nigeria i have nothing to boast about anymore. Teenage me would’ve been loud and cheerful today but adult me knows the truth about the nature of this country and i can’t find it within me to celebrate it. If anything I miss my home country and feel home sick. Homemade jollof rice with fried plantain and chicken.

Edit: I came back to this post and realized it attracted all the racist pro-americans telling me to ”go back to my country“. Before you throw rocks at minorities voicing their struggles and disappointments focus on the bigger issue which is the insecurity that the government has created for its people. This is a bigger issue than you or me.

elder emo here, started experimenting with my fashion and the alt scene in 2011. My family was more conservative and i was basically the only alternative girl in my nigerian boarding school (although i spent my formative years in america). growing up in different cultures was an experience and i’ve embraced my weirdness throughout the years and it was freeing but now i am looking for a more subtle look that doesn’t make me look like a rebellious teenager and more like a grown woman. some reference pictures to my current style.

experimenting with my style lately. og emo here trying to incorporate some vintage dolly energy.

Low effort cup ramen noodles with paprika and lemon pepper because i am under the weather and it’s the only thing my stomach can tolerate today.

So a couple of days ago i went to a pride parade after not attending one in years. I was in a bad place in the past and was not able to attend the last few ones. so this year i went all out. I put lesbian stickers on my shirt, wore a shirt with a cheeky gay saying, rainbow merch on my bag, had the whole lesbian flag waving from my pocket and everything. like the way i dressed and looked even a dumb person would know i am gay.

for some reason this dude didn’t get the memo and proceeded to flirt with me. I gave him no indication that i was interested in him whatsoever and made a point to look bored, hasty, and annoyed. i was just talking to my friends about getting a cute girl’s number and my voice isn’t necessarily quiet. i was gushing and this dude was near when this happened because i noticed his creepy ass eyeing me from where he was. as soon as my friends went to get food he took the chance to harass my peace. 

i bluntly told him bro do you not see the lesbian flag and shit?? and he looked confused as if i was speaking japanese or something. he then said he wanted to shoot his shot anyways because he thought i was pretty. for some reason being a pretty girl means you may give a man a chance 🫩 he then felt the need to tell me he knows some lesbians who sleep with men and i shouldn’t close myself off to men. basically trying to say lesbians aren’t completely gay and i was so shocked by this man’s audacity. i gave him the nastiest look i could and he held his hands up and left. i was so heated the absolute nerve of this idiot floored me i wish i had spoken my full mind before he left. i told my friends what happened and they couldn’t believe it. how are you going to go to a PRIDE PARADE and be lesbophobic scum???

edit: I am laughing at the males downvoting my post and all my comments as well as their deleted comments popping up in my mentions, can’t even hide their butthurt feels over the fact that not every woman wants them 💀🤣