u/steersnbeers

I (F19) have been dating my boyfriend (M20) for almost 2 years. We started dating a couple months before graduating high school together, and our anniversary is this June. We’ve been through a lot together, and I genuinely saw a future with him—marriage, family, everything. We also live together now, so our lives are pretty intertwined.

Back in February of this year, I was at a party and met a girl who ended up knowing my boyfriend. She told me that in May 2025 (about a month before our 1-year anniversary), he added her on Snapchat, told her he was single (we were very much together at this point in time and he lied to her), and they exchanged nudes. I confronted him, and after trying to lie at first, he admitted it. He said it was a one-time mistake, that he was sorry, and that he would change. I didn’t want to lose him, so I stayed and tried to move past it.

Fast forward to now—my best friend calls me and shows me that my boyfriend has an active Tinder profile. I confronted him again, and again he initially denied it until I pushed him. He then admitted he did have Tinder, and said he downloaded it back in May 2025—the same time as the Snapchat situation—and claims he deleted it in February after I found out about the first incident.

That means he potentially had Tinder for about 10 months while we were together.

He says he never met up with anyone and that he’s changed, but I’m struggling to believe anything at this point, especially since he only tells the truth when he’s caught. There’s also a photo on his Tinder that looks more recent than when he claims he deleted the app, which makes me think he might still be lying.

I’m honestly torn. I love him so much and don’t want to break up, but I also feel completely disrespected and don’t know how to trust him again. It’s been over a week and I still haven’t decided what to do.

I know most people will probably say “leave,” and I understand why. But I’m asking—is there any realistic scenario where something like this can be repaired? Has anyone been in a situation where their partner cheated/acted like this and genuinely changed?

If staying is an option, what would that even need to look like in terms of rebuilding trust? And if you’ve been on the other side—what actually made you change?

I’m trying to be realistic but also honest about how I feel. Any perspective is appreciated.

I (F19) have been dating my boyfriend (M20) for almost 2 years. We started dating a couple months before graduating high school together, and our anniversary is this June. We’ve been through a lot together, and I genuinely saw a future with him—marriage, family, everything. We also live together now, so our lives are pretty intertwined.

Back in February of this year, I was at a party and met a girl who ended up knowing my boyfriend. She told me that in May 2025 (about a month before our 1-year anniversary), he added her on Snapchat, told her he was single (we were very much together at this point in time and he lied to her), and they exchanged nudes. I confronted him, and after trying to lie at first, he admitted it. He said it was a one-time mistake, that he was sorry, and that he would change. I didn’t want to lose him, so I stayed and tried to move past it.

Fast forward to now—my best friend calls me and shows me that my boyfriend has an active Tinder profile. I confronted him again, and again he initially denied it until I pushed him. He then admitted he did have Tinder, and said he downloaded it back in May 2025—the same time as the Snapchat situation—and claims he deleted it in February after I found out about the first incident.

That means he potentially had Tinder for about 10 months while we were together.

He says he never met up with anyone and that he’s changed, but I’m struggling to believe anything at this point, especially since he only tells the truth when he’s caught. There’s also a photo on his Tinder that looks more recent than when he claims he deleted the app, which makes me think he might still be lying.

I’m honestly torn. I love him so much and don’t want to break up, but I also feel completely disrespected and don’t know how to trust him again. It’s been over a week and I still haven’t decided what to do.

I know most people will probably say “leave,” and I understand why. But I’m asking—is there any realistic scenario where something like this can be repaired? Has anyone been in a situation where their partner cheated/acted like this and genuinely changed?

If staying is an option, what would that even need to look like in terms of rebuilding trust? And if you’ve been on the other side—what actually made you change?

I’m trying to be realistic but also honest about how I feel. Any perspective is appreciated.

I (F19) have been dating my boyfriend (M20) for almost 2 years. We started dating a couple months before graduating high school together, and our anniversary is this June. We’ve been through a lot together, and I genuinely saw a future with him—marriage, family, everything. We also live together now, so our lives are pretty intertwined.

Back in February of this year, I was at a party and met a girl who ended up knowing my boyfriend. She told me that in May 2025 (about a month before our 1-year anniversary), he added her on Snapchat, told her he was single, and they exchanged nudes. I confronted him, and after trying to lie at first, he admitted it. He said it was a one-time mistake, that he was sorry, and that he would change. I didn’t want to lose him, so I stayed and tried to move past it.

Fast forward to now—my best friend calls me and shows me that my boyfriend has an active Tinder profile. I confronted him again, and again he initially denied it until I pushed him. He then admitted he did have Tinder, and said he downloaded it back in May 2025—the same time as the Snapchat situation—and claims he deleted it in February after I found out about the first incident.

That means he potentially had Tinder for about 10 months while we were together.

He says he never met up with anyone and that he’s changed, but I’m struggling to believe anything at this point, especially since he only tells the truth when he’s caught. There’s also a photo on his Tinder that looks more recent than when he claims he deleted the app, which makes me think he might still be lying.

I’m honestly torn. I love him so much and don’t want to break up, but I also feel completely disrespected and don’t know how to trust him again. It’s been over a week and I still haven’t decided what to do.

I know most people will probably say “leave,” and I understand why. But I’m asking—is there any realistic scenario where something like this can be repaired? Has anyone been in a situation where their partner cheated/acted like this and genuinely changed?

If staying is an option, what would that even need to look like in terms of rebuilding trust? And if you’ve been on the other side—what actually made you change?

I’m trying to be realistic but also honest about how I feel. Any perspective is appreciated.