u/stevemahqueen

M28. The first two photos are more up to date with my hairstyle/facial hair length. My vision insurance is updating soon so I will be able to get new glasses. Fourth pic is current but me with smaller sunglasses on.

Third photo are the oversized rectangular lenses I have. My current are 54 mm wife lens, with 18 mm bridge width.

I want something smaller, because these 54s honestly seem way too wide for my face. I wear sunglasses that are 46 mm, 22 bridge width and they seem to fit well (4th pic.)

I’ve thought about something rounder. Want something stylish, masculine, and will look good with my current facial hair. Any recommendations?

Shaved it for an interview and my friends and family told me they missed it. I brought it back and I’m loving it

I had untreated chronic epilepsy at 26, and was fatigued all the time, a bit overweight, and felt pale. I wasn’t taking care of my body and I was in an oppressive work environment. Couldn’t remember things very well . I discovered that I had epilepsy shortly after taking the first pic, because a family member saw my convulsing in my sleep. I woke up on a hospital stretcher.

Six months of no driving and lots of tests, and the doctor realized that chronic “migraines” I had since 16 were actually partial seizures. I had been having them in my sleep on the regular and feeling horrible most of the time.

Now, at 28 I’m treated on medication and supplements. Don’t have the shakies anymore, and I actually get 8 hours of sleep, and I’m 15 pounds lighter. But more than that, I actually have energy and can think clearly. Super excited for the next chapter in life.

M28. Think it was the right call since I am interviewing soon but second guessing. I feel like the stubble is a bit more universally appealing even though I like the beardstache.

Any thoughts?

I love the look of the 120 but my wrist size is about 6.75”. I’m wearing a Timex expedition 39mm in pic 1 and a garmin fenix 7s in pic 2.

I don’t mind something with presence but im nervous the 120 would be too big. In love with the look of the 120 right off the bat though. I’m afraid I’d look ridiculous in it though.

Thoughts?

I’m 28 years old, and I’ve been in about three committed relationships.

Dated around quite a bit, but following college I moved to a smallish town for a well paying job in manufacturing engineering.

This year, I had resolved that I wouldn’t really focus on dating. A couple years prior, I had a relationship that ended and I just was feeling pretty down about my environment. Really hard to do anything in the town that I went to, and it was about a 40 minute drive north to the major city. Went on a few dates here and there, but nothing serious. The usual “interview” dates.

Well, I randomly connected with a girl on IG. We started talking and that eventually evolved into phone calls and FaceTime daily. We’ll call her Faith as a pseudonym. She hadn’t been in a relationship since college (about 8 years ago.) Very religious family.

We do this for three months and before we know it, we’re connecting and staring into each others eyes every night before we go to sleep. Similar aspirations, goals, and then lots of flirting and chemistry.

We get to a point where I’m going to visit. She tells me she wants to be my girlfriend, and I feel the same way. She tells me she wants me to come up to visit her.

I told her I think it makes sense to wait on the boyfriend/girlfriend convo until in person. She asks me why at first but then agrees, but the plan is that I go and stay at her apartment for a few days. Separate bedrooms, all that. We have pretty direct discussions about our physical boundaries and what we’re comfortable with but we’re both super excited. We happened to know a mutual friend so that helped with the stranger danger thing. She starts talking about planning the visit where she comes down to see me, but of course we’re still focused on the first.

Well, it gets weirder because she is roommates with her brother. A little odd, but anyways.

I fly out across the country and meet her at the airport. We hug for a few minutes straight and it seems really magical. The rest of the day is fine even though we’ve been running off of adrenaline.

I get to her apartment and there’s a security camera facing the living room couch inside. Throws me off quite a bit. But I end up meeting her family and friends in the next couple of days. It’s absolutely exhausting. We don’t kiss at this point because she is a slow mover and has some past trauma. But we hug and cuddle.

I asked her if she wants this and she tells me yes, let’s make it official. So we did.

Well, three days after she wakes up in the wrong side of the bed. She’s extra quiet that day and I kind of just ask her what’s wrong. She starts telling me that she thinks maybe we should slow down and “just be friends.”

I pause and kind of ask her why she changed her mind. She tells me “I just get weird looks from my friends and I think they’re trying to get me to temper my expectations.” She then also tells me “ohh, I’m sorry if you had expectations. I just thought this was a meeting to get to know as friends.” I called her out and told her that I didn’t fly out to hang out with just a friend. I told her if she doesn’t feel the same way then that’s fine, but that she shouldn’t change the narrative. I also told her that if she doesn’t want this, then I can leave a bit early as I don’t want her to feel trapped. She then told me that she wanted, and I quote, “commitment without the label.” She then admitted she changed her mind, but wasn’t sure where we stood. She told me she wanted me to stay. At this point, I had two more days of staying with her.

The rest of the visit was awkward. We still did full date days, but she would randomly make passive aggressive comments to me. She got sick, and we had a pretty lowkey next couple of days. At the end of the trip when she dropped me off, she gets out of the car and gives me a big hug which she initiates. She tells me she had a great time and asked me to update her on my stops.

And then…Ghosts me for three days. Finally, we have a FaceTime. She starts talking and I don’t say anything. She starts with “First of all, I don’t do discussions or debates. You’re welcome to have your own interpretation but I’m not going to hear any of it.”

She then proceeds to let into me and tell me that I “made her uncomfortable” because I called her out on changing up on her word. She then told me that she felt like there was a moment where she perceived I was irritated at her while we were hugging (which never happened.) She then brought up her traumatic past and told me that I of all people shouldn’t be irritated by her discomfort given that I know more about it than anyone. (Again, I was never irritated nor did I act like I was.) She then told me that she went and got advice from her friends about what she was feeling.

I asked her if she even remotely would discuss things and she told me that she wasn’t open to it. I told her that I’m not going to beg someone to stay in a relationship and that if she’s made her decision then it’s fine. I told her goodbye and she told me goodbye and hung up. She then blocked me on literally every platform.

It’s been 3 months since that happened. I’ll be honest, I quite taking care of myself for a while. Despite the previous relationships and the obvious red flags in hindsight, I still legitimately did fall for this girl in a way that I hadn’t fallen for anyone before.

I’m over here now, but I’m in a spot where I don’t know if I want to keep doing this. I did change things up and move to a bigger city with a lot more places to go and people to meet. To be honest, I’m still trying to build up courage to get back into the dating world. I wish people dated in person more.

I get and accept that I took a risk by flying to meet this girl. I get it. But I really hoped this would be the one. But I will never do long distance dating again. Here’s to a new chapter in a new city 🍷

Edit: this meals is eggs poached in a roasted garlic/red sauce with Spanish lemon sardines served on sourdough! Super easy to make, one of my fave bachelor dinners.

1 and 2 are current beardstache, 3 is full beard before

Wasn’t confident enough to go for a full stache so I went for the beard stache. It’s different, but I think I’m gonna keep it!