u/still_on_a_whisper

Early in 2020 a person in my community started a gofundme to raise money to move cross-country for what they claimed was the only chance at saving their life" after a brain tumor diagnosis. They specifically said they had a glioblastoma. Multiple people called this into question (which should already say enough about this person) so they posted a cut off printout (it did not give all the details) of the dictation, a photo of the disc of their MRI results alongside a picture of the oncologists employed at their hospital & an actual photo of their MRI (which did show a mass) to prove they had cancer.

They said because of the location of the tumor, which occurred on their brainstem if I remember correctly, the oncologist told them surgery wasn't an option & neither was chemo and to "go home and live out their life." It has been almost 7 years since the date on the dictation when they were diagnosed with a brain tumor. I'm not negating the fact they have a tumor, but I truly believe this is a benign tumor and NOT a glioblastoma considering they had zero surgical intervention, no radiation or chemotherapy and are still alive and well (outside of neuropathy in their feet). Would a person with a true glioblastoma be able to live this long??

They had enough people donate to raise over $20,000 and used the funds to permanently move cross-country. They have never shared what helped or "stopped" their tumor, which almost seems peculiar if it was as severe as they originally stated bc so many people are afflicted with this. And if they received an atypical treatment that was effective you would think they'd be as publicly vocal about their treatment as they were when trying to raise money for themselves...

I know this age can bring pickiness with food. So far, we have had no real issue with that (my LO is 18 mos) so that’s not really a concern for us. I eat a ton of fruits and veggies daily and I don’t limit myself with that.. like I’m not going to only allow myself a single banana and deny an evening bowl of grapes or apple as a snack. I apply the same rule to my kids but we have some friends who say they don’t really allow their toddlers to eat “too much” fruit.

I don’t do any juice, only water and milk. My toddler eats a ton of raw fruit (berries, kiwi, mango, stone fruit & oranges mostly) and veggies. We also occasionally have freeze dried fruit (no sugar, literally just the fruit, I checked the label). But I find it a little odd to not let your child eat something healthy? I totally get limiting other things that provide little nutritional value but fruit seems like a weird one to limit. Was just curious if this is common, though?

I have 3 kids (14, 12, and 17 mos). My oldest for sure resembles me and my maternal side of the family. My middle looks like my oldest but also really resembles her dad’s sister. She’s honestly a good mix but leans more on her dad’s side. Both older kids have my hair color & eye color tho. I had them with my ex who has similar features as me so this may factor in.

My youngest is with my current SO and looks nothing like me. I read the whole “it’s a biological trick when babies are born to look like their dads so they’re accepted” but she’s now 17 months and still does not look like me. Every time we see friends and family they say she’s her dad’s twin and it’s true. It’s just so odd bc she doesn’t seem to have any of my traits at all >.< same eye color as dad, her hair is still really light (maybe that’ll darken), nose shape is looking really similar to dad, and she’s super short (not typical for my family at all). Maybe it’ll change some as she gets older but I’m curious about others. Does your child look more like you or their dad?

I know we waited longer than we should’ve to phase out the bottle but between teething, ear infections and some sleep disruptions, we waited till now. Started Friday and it’s not going well.

We have a variety of toddler cups for her to use. She will drink water out of all of them with zero issue. We have multiple straw types, the regular sippy cups and an infinity cup. Again, she uses these all for water. I’ve been putting her milk in them and she gets super upset and says no and bats the cup away or if handed to her throws it down. She has been extra cranky since Friday and I’m starting to worry she’s not going to be getting enough high fat dairy for her brain. She doesn’t really care for yogurt and will do some cheese but I don’t think it’s enough for the daily intake.

How long did it take your LO to accept milk in a cup rather than bottle? I do not remember this being a big deal with my first two. She also gets tubes put in & a frenulectomy next week and I’m wondering if I should’ve waited to do this till after bc I know she’s going to want some comfort before/after that. My SO says not to cave and to keep trying the sippy cups. Any tips that worked for your kiddos to make the transition smoother?

I have a trip abroad planned with friends next spring. I have not been out of the country for over 15 years and I was pretty young the last time.

I got to thinking about it and my guess is swiping a card will be easiest to pay for things in a country I know nothing about instead of trying to deal with their local cash option. Unfortunately, both my debit and credit card have foreign transaction fees. I’d like to get an additional card to avoid that.

So, for those who travel internationally, what bank/card do you use for travel outside your country?

I've been with the company nearly a decade. After an enormous amount of retirements, they restructured our area some and tried to centralize positions in the city our main office resides. We have three lead positions, a direct supervisor, a newly added manager position and a director. They hired out for the manager and she does not have finance experience and has only been here 3 weeks. My direct supervisor told me to apply for the open lead position - they were only hiring internally for this. There are four people in our office that have been here longer than me but one is fully remote and the other two had zero interest in the position. Everyone else has been here 3 years or less. I was told by my supervisor that they would not give the remote person the promotion bc it was essential the lead be in the office some of the time.

I also have "special duties" that no one else has that were given to me a long time ago. I have extensive knowledge of all the systems we use and a finance background that extends to prior to me working at my current company. Anyhow, for whatever reason, they thought it would be a fantastic idea to have the newly hired manager do the interviews with our supervisor. She barely knows anyone in our office at this point and doesn't have much knowledge on how any of our systems/processes work yet. During the interview, none of the questions asked why I'd be a good choice for the lead, they didn't ask what knowledge I had of the systems, they didn't ask if I'd trained anyone previously (i have trained multiple people over my near decade with the company). They asked me basic hiring questions that you would get when you're trying to hire someone who's never worked for the company before. Very generalized and not something i'd expect when you're internally hiring.

I found out today I did not get the promotion even after my supervisor pushed me to apply and said she'd be putting in a good word for me. As far as I know, she was part of the choosing process, so I'm honestly surprised. The only other candidates would be people who have worked here 3 years or less with way less finance experience than me. One of the other applicants (i heard she applied through the grapevine) is nearly 30 mins late every single day. She seems like the only one that could convince them to promote her so I'm guessing she was giving the title. They likely won't announce it till later this week, but I'm so confused by their choice-making. I was hesitant to even apply but did so at the urging of my supervisor thinking it would be nice to take on some new responsibilities and actually be fairly compensated for it.

I always thought being punctual, productive and at work when I'm supposed to be (l rarely call in sick and I even have 3 kids) counted for something but apparently not. I am truly shocked they gave a newly hired manager hiring capabilities this early on. She strikes me as the type who goes based on whether clicks with someone well and not whether someone is a good fit for the job. I guess | just feel super overlooked and disappointed.

I don't currently have an interest in finding a new job bc i do like my work and I'm able to just come in, complete my tasks and go home without feeling stressed/overwhelmed. And thankfully, we aren't heavily reliant on our coworkers so it's fine for me to keep to myself. I just really thought this would be a way to expand my knowledge and get fairly compensated.

Periodically I'll see someone post "suggest me a book that emotionally destroyed you" or something along those lines. I don't know if I accidentally clicked on the wrong post or misread it, but Killers of the Flower Moon was suggested on a post like that and I went into not realizing it was non-fiction until I'd already gotten through chapter 1.

Holy buckets it was such a dry read. I went to goodreads to see reviews and one reviewer wrote, "this could've been summed up in 50 pages" and I couldn't agree more. While what took place is awful, the book itself was grueling to get through simply bc it was dry and fairly boring. I had just come off of reading A Thousand Splendid Suns and Sarah's Key (which was also recommended in the post) and I think I was under the impression this was going to elicit the same emotional response. While I understand its importance, I can't believe someone would suggest that amongst those other two books. It felt like reading through an encyclopedia...

Anyhow, I'd love suggestions for books (fiction only please) that were scary, sad or unsettling. Please no romance.

I've read and enjoyed:
Monday's Not Coming
My Darling Girl
Slewfoot
Beloved
Flowers for Algernon
A Fine Balance
Earthling's
and many Stephen King novels

I did not like Tender is the Flesh (way too far-fetched). *Only noting this as I see it recommended frequently.

Background: together 6yrs. We have one shared child (15 months old). I also have two older children with my ex. We have taken multiple trips for his hobby and over the yrs I’ve learned that those trips are specifically focused on him and his hobby and I need to just do my own thing if I need a break.

Now onto the issue at hand. My SO does these hobby trips 3-4x between spring and fall. They are always with his friends, oftentimes they like to caravan. Oftentimes, these friends bring their SO’s. I am friendly with these SO’s but we are not friends. I spend most of my days tending to my kids’s needs, totally fine. But I’m not lacking human interaction and tbh it’s nice to have downtime where I don’t have to entertain conversations when I’m on a trip. However, if I leave on my own while on a trip, I’m perceived as rude for not inviting the other friends’ SO’s.

So this trip is from Thurs-Mon. My SO & 3 of his friends. 3 kids are coming (bw 15 mos-3yrs). I am leaving my oldest two back with their dad. I will be solely responsible for our 15 mos old this trip bc his hobby isn’t one that really allows for time to deal with kids.

His other friend is bringing his wife & their 18 mos old. She can’t drive for reasons I won’t get into. His 3rd friend is coming alone with his 3 yr old but will need someone to watch her while they’re doing their thing. Naturally, I got volunteered to not only drive the one friend’s wife/kid around but also babysit the 3 yr old when needed. Mind you, I have my own child to worry about. I learned all of this after I already requested the time off work.

I tried to tell my SO this doesn’t sound appealing to me anymore and he lost it. Told me I’m a b*tch and the only person who “can’t roll with the punches” on these trips. He says I’m antisocial and it’s not his fault if other people think I’m rude bc I choose to do stuff on my own. He thinks I should socialize and “just be happy like everyone else.” He also says I never act like this when I plan our trips (which are family vacations with just the kids and us or him and I only). Well yeah, bc I’m not expected to entertain anyone - except my kids which I’ll gladly do bc I willingly brought them into the world.

Am I being totally unreasonable here? It feels like my sole purpose now is to go to entertain his friend’s wife/kid and then babysit the other kid so they can all have a jolly time. I asked if I could stay back at the Airbnb for part of it by myself (with our LO) and he said “well I guess if you don’t care what people think of you, so be it.”

Just thinking I should tell work to cancel my pto request and stay home at this point bc it’s no longer sounding like a fun time for me at all…

tl;dr SO is taking a trip and im expected to entertain his friend’s wife and babysit someone else’s kid, wondering if I should just skip the trip.

My 3rd baby is currently 15 months. She's been on one midday nap since about 10 months old (due to daycare). She woke overnight 1-2x up until she turned 1. Then she'd go the full 11-12 hours at night w/o waking except the last 2-3 weeks she gets up once a night, probably due to teething. Maybe this will stop once the molars are all in. All this to say, she’s fairly low maintenance, imo.

With my oldest two (14 & 12) | never left them overnight with my parents until they were around 2/3 years old. I honestly feel like it's sort of inconsiderate for mom & dad to leave a baby under 1 overnight with family, especially if they wake overnight, BUT I understand that's my personal feelings. However, now that my baby is over 1, I'd like to resume taking a trip or two a year with my SO without her.

The thing is, my parents are now divorced and my dad works 6 days a week from 4AM-4PM. So he is 100% not an option. My mom works normal hours, Mon thru Fri 7am-4pm so she would be able to drop off/pick up my LO from daycare if I was gone 1-2 weekdays/nights and weekends shouldn’t affect much.

My SO has a trip planned late August, so she will be 18 months at that point and bc it's a 9 hour drive, we just cannot bring her with. It's from one midwest state to another, no flights available - it's literally drivable only. Anyhow, I brought this up to my mom and she's saying she really doesn't think she wants to keep her overnight for more than a night or maybe two and not during the week.

With this being the case, I feel like I’ll have to skip the trip unfortunately bc i can't justify driving 9 hours to stay 1-2 nights. But it got me thinking, when is it acceptable to have her stay overnight for more than 1-2 weekend nights? My in laws live a few hours away, but I know my MIL would be one hundred percent on board to watch my LO for as many days as needed. I just feel guilty asking her to take time off to come stay at our place for a long weekend (their home is way out of the way of the trip, so would not be ideal to take our child there). If you were in my spot, would you just ask your in laws? Or wait till next year and hope the in-town grandparent will be willing?