u/surfingbarbie2025

I’m in my cousins wedding. She has chosen very expensive options for her events. Bachelorette trip was planned for a holiday weekend, we all thought it would be perfect since nobody had to take off work. This is until she tells us that the trip will be 4 days instead of 3. Annoying but not impossible, as I expected to take some PTO for the wedding. She then complained the whole time about how expensive and busy the restaurants and town was that we visited, despite not paying a thing. For the Bridal Shower, her mom who threw it told the bridesmaids that there is not pressure to buy a gift as we are already paying to be in the wedding. I bought one since my cousin bought one for my shower when I got married. After the shower, she then complained about the bridesmaids that didn’t get her anything. Now the wedding. She said that makeup and hair is optional and gave us the price. It was expensive but I am willing to pay as I have no idea how to style myself. She just texted us 2 days before the wedding and says “ don’t worry guys, my family will be covering the tip for the makeup and hair people” this annoyed me so much only because I feel like that should be expected!!! You hired the very expensive makeup and hair artists and gave us a price! When I got married I paid for my bridesmaids hair since all of them opted in and only a few wanted makeup done. I never expected anyone to tip the hair or makeup people that I hired. Her wedding is a week day wedding so now I have to take 2 more days of PTO. I have also had to take off work for other wedding related events such as alterations and things like that. Am I crazy to be annoyed that she keeps picking these expensive things and then complaining about then or expecting more money to be shelled out?? This event is getting ridiculous and has cost be over $2000 and a week of PTO.

My cousin is getting married. She was my MOH when I got married a couple years ago. She is older than me and has been in more weddings so she had lots of opinions that got reflected into my bachelorette and wedding shower ( complained about expensive trips from other weddings shes been in, so made mine very cheap. Complained about how much time past wedding events took out of her schedule, so scheduled shower and bachelorette events in one weekend). She also insisted all details of both be a surprise, despite me being not a surprise person at all. I didn’t think anything of it, figured it was good for my bridesmaids to save money and time since I had never been in a wedding at this point. She also wanted to be very involved in the planning, constantly asking for updates and sharing ideas.

Now she is getting married and is asking for crazy amounts of time and money. Had a very expensive bachelorette trip on a holiday weekend and complained about how crowded and expensive things were the whole weekend ( she didn’t pay for anything as all bridesmaids covered her costs). She also wanted it to be more than just a weekend so she insisted we take extra days beyond the holiday, making us take extra PTO. For wedding planning, she has came at me multiple times saying I “stole her ideas” and ruined how “unique” her wedding was supposed to be. She was freshly engaged at my wedding, so my planning was pretty much done by then. She is now a few months out and has become so rude about everything. If we don’t answer her text immediately, she spams until we do. She is now crashing out at any Instagram or TikTok that has details that are the same as her wedding plans and texting us constantly about it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back to normal with her after the wedding since this event has truly brought out the worst in her.

UPDATE:

I’m seeing all of the comments saying that I can just say no. Easier said than done. When pushing back regarding time and money, my grandparents and her parents offered to chip in and cover bridesmaids that could not afford these things. I did not take them up on it since that doesn’t seem appropriate since I do have the money for these events, but am just annoyed as I would rather spend it elsewhere or save it. The bridesmaids were put in the awkward position since it is hard to say no when Everytime we push back something is added to make it easier to cater to her wants. Trust me, if I could back out of this event without ruining my relationships with my entire extended family, I would.

I got married about 3 years ago. I had about 6 bridesmaids and since I was the first of all my friends to be married, I made sure to be super flexible and try to save everyone money and find way to make the experience cheaper and enjoyable. My maid of honor was a few years older than me and has been in a lot of weddings. She had always complained about the time and money that it takes to be in a wedding. She was a great maid of honor and asked to be very involved, always sending me ideas from social media, wanting to plan my bachelorette and bridal shower as a surprise, etc). For the bachelorette, She used her aunts house on the coast so that lodging would be free and we only went for less than 48 hours. We did a brunch that doubled as my shower on that weekend so that people didn’t have to travel a lot. Fast forward to a few year later, she gets engaged. She has been asking me questions about my wedding and vendors, using me as a sounding board for all ideas and even using some of my decor from the wedding to save some money. I am in her wedding party but not the maid of honor. Over the past few months of planning, all she can talk about is how her wedding is going to be the most fun, most unique, and better than any wedding she’s ever to. She has also brought up that she has had so many ideas that I used for my wedding so she can’t use them anymore ( she never told me any of the tik toks or instagram reels she sent me were things that she was considering and she was not even engaged yet). She is also planning her own bachelorette and is choosing places that are extremely expensive and last more than a weekend trip, so I will have to take about a week of PTO between the wedding, bachelorette and Shower. She also wants us to have hair and makeup done for the wedding, which is about $400. I am feeling frustrated since she is my best friend and it feels like she is being rude and not considerate of myself or her other bridesmaids. She loves to complain about her past bridesmaid experience being expensive and taking up lots of time but then plans an extravagant and expensive one for herself. She is also being rude to me about things from my wedding or saying things for my wedding that she didn’t like and would never do at her own or accusing me of stealing her ideas. She had never been so competitive or rude in her life until she started planning her wedding. I’m worried for how she will get as we go through other life milestones around the same time.